Friday, April 02, 2010

Ur Doin It Rong

Yep, generations of farmers have been doin it rong. Or at least missing a step or three. Using fertilizers, pesticides, specially bred grains, specialized equipment plus years and years of experience just isn't enough. At least for limousine liberal gardeners, at any rate:

the first lady knelt in the 1,500-square-foot garden and planted two rows of broccoli as well as some rhubarb.

After the rhubarb was in the ground Mrs. Obama and some of the children performed what she called a "growing dance" around the wooden planter. The group chanted "grow, rhubarb, grow" several times, then circled the planter and finished by throwing their hands in the air.

White House assistant chef Sam Kass, who oversees the garden, joined in for the last round of the dance.

Up until now, I had no idea some sort of Wiccan Mother Gaea interpretive dance was necessary. Was this just some sort of ad-libbed performance? Or is it a tradition refined by generations of environmentally oriented Chicago Democrat farmers? Just asking. I'm curious that way. Now, as a poorly practicing Christian I would think a prayer or two might be apropos. Amazing how the First Lady never thought of that - gee, I wonder why? Aren't she and Teh Won supposed to be Christian? Huh. It's so hard to tell from their actions. They did claim to be, after all.

Of course, I'm being kinda hard on her, since she only shows up at the garden for photo ops. White House grounds crew and kitchen staff plus volunteers do all the work.

And, towards the end of the "news" story, I saw something that just absolutely warmed me to the cockles of my withered conservative heart:
Joining Mrs. Obama were Agriculture Secretary Tom Vilsack, Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius ,and several White House chefs.

Well, Kathleen! How the heck have you been? How's that career change working out for you? Jumping on the Obama Bandwagon - well, maybe it hasn't gone just quite like you thought? Did Barry and Co. throw you under the bus? This is what you're reduced to - photo ops in the White House Garden? Isn't organic gardening kind of a stretch, even for you? Where were you during the brouhaha over health care? Wasn't that your purview? Hows come you weren't front and center on your own turf? I'll take "under the bus"for $100, Alex.

Ahh, but I'm a bitter gun owner clinging to his religion and the nuances of progressive thinking are just beyond me, I guess. But, tell me, Kathleen - aren't you glad you threw away being governor of a lousy flyover red state like Kansas to be RIGHT THERE IN THE CIRCLE OF POWER, ready to kiss some Obama Butt? I mean, even if it's just Michelle's ample behind, that's gotta get you some gold stars on your dinner plate! You just keep on keepin' on, while we ignorant types back home try to figure out how to pay for all the stuff you said we had to have!

No, really, stay there in DC. Thanks so much.

H/T Ace


threecollie said...

D'y'know, I have danced around after planting a time or two as well, but it usually had more to do with ground bees than getting the rhubarb to grow. Plain old horse s**t seems to work best for that... I thought the first family had a plentiful supply of that...

Jeffro said...

Snork! I suspect the fertilizing qualities of the horse s**t the First Family spreads has lost most of it's vitality due to the excessive inclusion of hot air.

Cathy said...

Bwaahahahahahha :-D

I should probably feel a little guilty about falling off the couch laughing - I mean she is the first lady and they are all our betters . . but - nah.

Lisa Paul said...

I think the dance had more to do with engaging YouTube generation kids in something as boring (to a kid) as gardening.

But hell, if dancing will get my sad little garden to grow, I'll do it. But then growing isn't my problem. It's protecting crops from those damn ground squirrels.

Now where's my gun...