Monday, April 05, 2010

I Rattled His Doors

To the collector of used bung fodder I encountered Bryan's Corner, OK (intersection of US83 and US412) today:

You, in your POS white (but not washed in the last six months) day cab pulling the pneumatic trailer, saw me stop at the sign and turn left to the east. Of course, it would have completely ruined your day to actually stop at the driveway coming out of the truck stop. Even worse, you'd have to have waited on me to go by, costing you at least ten seconds of your valuable day. No, once you saw you could run the stop and get out ahead of me, you really gassed that sucker, kicking up a cloud of dust and had just a bit of trouble making your corner at speed.

Well, needless to say, I was a bit surprised at the brashness of this move. Perhaps you really had some ponies under the hood of that stripped steel wheeled painted bumper wonder you were driving, and maybe, just maybe, you'd make an excellent front door - leaving me in your dust. That would have worked for me. I'd have understood a bit better, and forgiven you.

Alas, no. Your so called ride had all the oomph of a Yugo climbing Pike's Peak with a load of bricks and lead in the trunk. I had to back out of my modest acceleration efforts.

However, I could see that there was no traffic coming our way, so I thought "What the hell" and eased back down on the loud pedal in a serious manner. As I passed by your cab, I noticed you wouldn't even look at me. Well, I guess I'm not surprised. You were a dick for pulling out and a rude bastard for not having the power to get out of my way, so I conclude you are a dumbass. If getting out in front of me is that f$%^ing important, perhaps actually driving faster than me should be on your checklist.

Really, considering how windy it was, that's pretty sad that I could outdrag you like that with an oversize load. I'll bet you don't brag about this little incident to your buds. I'll also bet you don't pull that shit on me or one of our trucks again. All of our trucks can eat yours for a snack, and don't you forget it. If there is a next time, you'd better stay the hell out of my way.


Cedar View Paint Horses said...

"so I conclude you are a dumbass"

Classic. I'm using that line today.

Earl said...

You had me worried that you were going to roll on over his ride, glad he was just an irritant not an obstacle. You have more POWER than all those rides every where. Keep safe, there is another fool not waiting.

ptg said...

Blood pressure relief, eh, Jeffro?

Jeffro said...

CVPH: Snork! Glad I could help!

Earl: There's always someone with "more power." I usually lose the drag races anyways - the chicken haulers are generally geared so they do wind up quicker, but I'll take 'em top end or on a hill as a rule. And yes, there is unfortunately no shortage of morons.

ptg: Nuttin' like blowing his doors off after he was a jerk and knew it, and then walking off and leaving him miles behind. Justified, I was.