Quote of the Day

See, I'm not Congress; sometimes I have to do actual work instead of just writing about what other people otta be doing.

RobertaX, on why she didn't have a new post up. Awesome, simply awesome.

46th Anniversary

Today is the forty sixth anniversary of the debut of Star Trek on television. Geeks everywhere were forever altered. The very first show was The Man Trap, which you may recall was about the salt monster that killed humans for a little NaCl to survive.

Oops. Wrong monster. Amazing resemblance though, no????

Pretty cheesy by today's film standards. The show was definitely hobbled by a cut rate budget and an unwilling NBC, who, as every fan knows, cancelled the show after three seasons. Fans didn't let it die, and Paramount makes a pretty penny from the franchise these days.

Even if the original series looks pretty dated, it's still my favorite - and the movies the cast made are as well. The chemistry between the characters just seemed to cut it better than the other iterations. I always thought Star Trek: Enterprise and Star Trek: Voyager were the weakest, perhaps because they were the last series and the well was dry. No matter, I even enjoyed the new movie and can't wait for the sequel. Once a Trekker, always a Trekker, I guess....

Today's Groaner

If sex with 3 people is called a threesome and sex with 2 people is a twosome, 

Recycling!

I'd bet we got up to eighty degrees today. Frankly, I'm not ready, plus I was promised snow with my winter, and we ain't got none of that.

One thing tourists inevitably notice while traveling through the Golden Beef Triangle are the feedlots and in particular, the smell. When it's cold, the smells are reduced. However, when it warms up, it's like all those special odors are freed at once, because the intensity of the nasal assault just seems worse. So, with that, I give you a post from the past:

Ode to the Feedlots

The wintertime masks the odour of the feedlot, you think
When driving by the smell isn't so bad the stink
Isn't an overwhelming presence just a mild after taste
From all those cattle's massed body waste
The skein of ice over the lagoon surface
Hides Natures ultimate purpose
For when the cheery Springtime Sun heat
Warms the copious fetid treat
A fragrant explosion assaults the senses
When motoring by those complicit fences
The Little Tree® air freshener hides and cries
And moans and screams and finally dies
The dense, wafting wall of emanation
Surely is unequaled in all of creation
Overcome by dizziness in the cloud of effluvium
One wonders if there is a requiem
For the slaughtered nerves in one's nose
Flooded like a tincture of fire hose
The Old Timers! Look and see
It's nothing but the smell of money!
I'll agree with this only
When me and my nose are safely free!

I'm Here To Tell Ya!

Consider me as a "yes" on the concept.

H/T DougM at SondraK

Dead Armadillo Alert

Oklahoma haz them.

Don't You Know It

I'd do it.

Found here

Feel The Powah!

This is the world famous Wattgate 381 Audio Grade Duplex Socket - which sells for $147.72 in quantities from one to three. From the product page:

If you are building your own audiophile power cord to improve component performance, you need the WattGate 381 receptacle. Why build a performance power cable only to plug it into the same receptacle that's been in use for almost 100 years? WattGate's 381 is a no compromise solution for the demanding AV enthusiast. Construction of the 381 is top-notch and features glass-filled, nylon front and rear housings. Mounting strap, rivets and grounding strip are gold plated, solid brass for the ultimate in corrosion resistance and power transfer. Installation of the 381 is simple and efficient due to rear wiring and large, #10 brass terminal screws. Terminal clamps are gold plated, solid brass and shaped to better grip the conductors. Like the 330 and 350, the 381 leaves the competition behind with its contacts. Configured in a triple-wiper design allows the plug blades to be gripped at three separate points. Additionally, the heavy-duty contacts maximize the clamping spring-rate and ensure conductivity. A three-layer plating process is also completed on the 381: Oxygen free copper plating, electrolysis nickel, and finally 24k gold plating. Receptacle contacts are cryogenically heat treat hardened. Receptacle is rated at 125 VAC, 20A.

Cryogenic heat treat hardened contacts Solid brass contact construction Three step 24k gold plating process Triple wiper design increases contact area Superior performance over standard receptacles

Of course, the reviews for this highly developed bit of electrical engineering are virtually glowing:

I didn't believe all the hype... but at this price (bought 4 to get the reduced pricing $561.32 + $25.00 shipping) I figured the Wattgate 381 Audio Grade Duplex Socket was cheap enough to experiment with. Besides, 4 regular sockets at your local Home Depot would cost you around $12.50 and there is no multi-unit discount with them! So really I would have been crazy not to buy them...

I am a big-time Bass Fisherman. I would rather go Bass Fishing than anything. So it should come as no surprise that I bought the Wattgate 381 Audio Grade Duplex Socket to go in my Bass Fishing boat.
It s kind of an old clunker though, 6 aluminum job. Single seater, with only a trolling motor for power. I installed a super cheapo fish finder a few years ago... it works ok in shallow water (knee-deep or less) as long as the fish are really big!

So I installed one of the Wattgate 381 Audio Grade Duplex Socket to run the fish finder.
I didn t run any wiring to the Wattgate 381 Audio Grade Duplex Socket I just cut a hole in the bottom of the boat and screwed it in.
I was afraid it would leak, but to my surprise it was completely water tight. In fact some other holes that used to be in the boat stopped leaking also...
Next thing I noticed was that the trolling motor that used to strain to push the boat along at 5 mph was now kicking up a 30 Rooster Tail behind me and was pushing the boat along at hydro-plane speeds approaching 300 mph.

And finally with the fish finder plugged directly into the Wattgate 381 Audio Grade Duplex Socket I am making a fortune from all the sunken treasure that the fish finder is able to detect now!

...on a side note, me and the wife have been trying for 12 years to have a baby, well lo and behold I come home from a month long fishing trip and she informs me she is 2 weeks pregnant! Thanks Wattgate 381 Audio Grade Duplex Socket!!! You have made my life complete!!

Of course, there are "green" benefits:

Before installing the Wattgate 381 Audio Grade Duplex Socket, I was only able to pick up a few local radio stations on my HD receiver. The stations I could hear had a lot of static and where hard to listen to. Since installing the Wattgate 381 Audio Grade Duplex Socket I can now pick up nearly ever station on the planet and even a classic rock station from Alpha Centuari system.
The 25% increase of amperage as well as the power sine wave interpolation without a doubt prove that the Wattgate 381 Audio Grade Duplex Socket is worth at least five times the full retail price.
After some calculations I have determined that if were to use the Wattgate 381 Audio Grade Duplex Socket to recharge my Prius, I will obtain close to a 35% increase in mileage using batteries alone.
I further hypotheroize that if one Wattgate 381 Audio Grade Duplex Socket was installed in every household in America the global carbon dioxide levels would be significantly reduced.

Let's not forget the Chuck Norris effect:

I was given the wattgate 381 as a gift from my wife, I was not impressed with it. Yeah it was shiney and sure did look the part but come on, it is an outlet!!! I have a nice entertainment system so I thought I would give it a try, after installation I put in my favorite movie The Delta Force starring Chuck Norris, this time he killed everyone the good and the bad, it was so loud my ears are still bleeding. When the movie was over my TV exploded and Chuck Norris stood in the carnage. Then he picked up my wife and gave her the best rogering she has ever had (the doctors say she might be able to walk again after intensive physical theropy). Two thumbs way up!!

Wow! This sounds super fabuloso - I'd bet this socket would blow away Gold Plated Monster Cables even! Like totally worth the money, dude!

H/T Purple Avenger at Ace's

Survey Time

I take online surveys for fun. Yes, I get that bored sometimes. I'll get the occasional DVD by turning in reward points, or the odd buck or three in my PayPal account. Sometimes they even send out a product for testing.

So, today was one of those days. Essentially snowed in - roads not clear enough to move, far too cold to wash my truck or do much of anything. Luckily, the pipes didn't freeze, and I'm warm and comfy. So, I took some surveys today.

I've been sworn to secrecy, so I may be violating a trust by telling y'all this stuff, but wow, some of the ideas floated were just farging ridiculous to me. Most of it involves cell phones and different attachments or functions. A couple of weeks ago, I took one about a phone with a blood glucose monitor attached. So sorry, but that seems like a very stupid idea. Oh, yeah, I'd have that puppy with me all the time, but I'd also have to have the strips and other supplies on my person to use it. Plus, just adding crap to a phone does not automatically make it a great idea - look at what can go wrong? I've had a meter peter out before, and the manufacturer will overnight a replacement, plus supply the container and postage to send the defective one back. Yep, I can see Verizon jumping right on that.

Today it was other crap. One had a detachable music player. Okay, now we have something that can be lost or broken, possible connection problems, and for what? Yeah, the player was tiny by itself. If I want a portable music player, I fear I want a dedicated player that has nothing to do with my lifeline - the smartphone.

Another had a detachable keyboard. For an extra fee, one could purchase several different styles of keyboards. Again, something small, fragile and likely to fail connecting. Plus, in a newly formed touch screen world, one must ask why? Why have individual switches when one can use a touchscreen, and customize it for responsiveness? Blackberrys are notorious for their keyboards and scroll wheel getting dirty and needing replacement. More of the same isn't a good thing.

The one that actually made some sense had a couple of "larger" speakers for more robust speakerphone usage. It also included a noise canceling directional mike. I never use speakerphone - the truck is too loud. Bluetooth headsets are failures in my environment - so I kinda doubt that phone would help me much. Someone else in a specialized environment? Perhaps.

Then, I just took a cat food survey. This one presented the problem of the cat getting hungry some time after eating, so the kibble had an outer coating that soothed the hunger pangs of kitteh, and an inner core that would soothe hunger pangs later.

My cat is gonna swallow this whole like a time release capsule? He's not gonna chew this stuff up, mixing it all up in his stomach? Or perhaps the "inner core" isn't readily digestible - requiring some quality time in kitteh's gut to break down. Just what I need - something to upset the King of Barfers' tummy. Or maybe, just maybe, it's all marketing hype. No, that would be unpossible.

Luckily the surveys had an area to write my opinions, which of course, I did. I often wonder what "they" think when reading my comments. Heh.

Why The Lord of the Rings

is a liberal's wet dream.

The most glaring reason is the huge plot hole. I've bitched about this before. Like I said back then, if you like the books and movies without irony, do not read on. Damn the torpedoes, spoilers ahead!

First off, let's get the plot hole right out of the way:



link

Mmmkay. You know a liberal would require the heroes to do it the hard way for character development and redemption - scourging themselves like a bunch of mad monks at Deranged Monkery (what? Nuns are in nunneries) Central, hair shirts and all. It just doesn't count if someone doesn't suffer. Smeagol redeems himself. King Theoden redeems himself from the mind bending parasite Grima Wormtongue - a minion of Saruman, who gets his comeuppance from a bunch of anti social trees.

But wow, at what a cost! If the Quest had just air dropped the ring into Mt. Doom, wouldn't all of Sauron's works (supported by the power of The Ring and the other lesser rings) have crumbled to dust just like it did in the end? Same ring being destroyed. Same powers eroded.

So, let's look at some of the associated costs. First off - Saruman - a rogue wizard who had really gone off the reservation. He's become an outwitted minion of Sauron, using a Palantir without a license. So, if the Rings are all destroyed, Saruman's power would certainly be diminished. He wouldn't automatically become good - as he was capable of evil even after Sauron's fall, but he'd have been easier to contain and eventually destroy. Why do I say that?

Well, for one thing, there would be a heck of a lot more humans alive to do that very thing in this alternate version. The Rohirrim and the armies of Gondor would be intact. Aragorn would still have legal claim to rule, and he was no peacenik. There would be a metric boatload of Elves that didn't die. They were planning on leaving anyways, but still. Too late for the Dwarves in Moria, though. The Balrog? Welp, that's one more thing ya gotta do before ya go, Gandalf. Yer tasks aren't quite done, just yet. There won't be a huge supporting cast of orcs - remember, they all get swallowed up by the earth when the One Ring is destroyed, as well as trolls, Nazgul and their steeds, and so on.

The new Sheriff in town would have a far easier time dealing with the lesser miscreants left over after Sauron's fall. The Men of the South? Well, Aragorn still has The Dead as a weapon - since he didn't have to waste them on Sauron. Too bad about the Olyphants. Samwise might get to see them on an air tour someday - those Eagles can't always be doing good deeds for free. I'm sure that they get hungry, too, and killing the occasional horse probably wouldn't be good PR. Trade an old nag or a steer for a ride, and everyone's happy. Capitalism at it's best.

Would the Ents still become involved? Good question. They were decidedly neutral, but were driven by events to defend themselves. Saruman did destroy all those forests, though, even before the Ring came into Frodo's possession. Tough call.

Boromir would still be alive. He wanted the nuclear option, so in Liberal Utopia - he had to go, period. Dad would still be stuffing his face with grapes and such, but he'd be out of power. Remember, Aragorn had the support of Gandalf and the Elves, plus probably the Rohirrim. He's got the necessary lineage to rule. Would there be civil war? I'd doubt it. Remember how Boromir acknowledged Aragorn's legitimacy? Even if ol' Dad was around the bend, Boromir saw the truth and Faramir wasn't stupid.

What about Smeagol? So what? What about him? "Oh, we can't kill him, he might play a part in the future I can't see." Ok, so in the video above he ends up in the fire pits of Doom anyhoo. He never did actually redeem himself - his greed got him killed no matter. The Ring ended up getting torched either way. He's a great example of classic recidivism. There is just no hope for some people or warped hobbits, so why do the rest of us have to suffer on their account? "Oh, but Jeffro - he couldn't help himself. The Ring warped him - he had no control." Yeah, whatever, silly liberal. I maintain that the Ring removed inhibitions, just like a lot of today's recreational drugs do. It exposed and turned his "bad side" loose. Bilbo (yeah, remember him?) didn't lose his essential goodness, despite an occasional lapse of bad manners, and he even gave up possession of the Precious. So spare me the moral relavism in regards to Smeagol. He was a greedy, selfish little bastard before the Ring came along. It just enabled him to be a worse individual.

And the Hobbits - they came back to The Shire as changed beings, able to lead their compadres against Sharkey's minions. Remember, Sharkey was Saruman kicked out of Orthanc in the long, drawn out version. Would the hapless Pippin and the more pragmatic Merry be able to withstand Sharkey should wend his way out of Orthanc after the Ring was destroyed? Maybe, maybe not. Remember, though, we've still got a bunch of elves still around who didn't get killed, a former Ranger (who is intimately acquainted with The Shire) in charge back at Gondor, Gandalf, and some Ents who seem predisposed to liking the little furry footed creatures. I ain't gonna worry about it - they're still the same characters, just not exposed to all the death and destruction.

All I know is Dick Cheney and Sarah Palin wouldn't stand for this sort of crap. They'd have the Walls of Mordor knocked down tout suite. They'd have a geothermal power plant up and running at Mt. Doom and the oil (you just know Mordor is sitting on a huge pool) pumping right outta there. They might even have the Southrons manning the rigs - taking the fight right outta their thinking. Capitalism at it's finest, I say.

Official Obama Pace Car

Just keep on printin' that money - we'll pay for everything thataway! See ya in the reeducation camps!

H/T Darin

Other News Department

An Announcement from The Westminster Kennel Club

The Westminster Kennel Club is proud to announce the winner of the annual Best In Show award is Michelle Obama. Ms. Obama has shown the potential to be a pure breed dog advocate with her assistance in choosing a Portugese Water Dog as the formal White House Pet.

Obama as PresidentFirst Lady has created a new climate in international politicsdog breed selection. Multilateral diplomacy has regained a central position, with emphasis on the role that the United Nations and other international institutions can play. DialogueTreats and negotiationsbegging are preferred as instruments for resolving even the most difficult internationalhousehold conflicts. The vision of a world free from nuclear armsfleas has powerfully stimulated disarmament and arms control negotiations.Thanks to Obama's initiative, the USA is now playing a more constructive role in meeting the great climaticbreeding challenges the world is confronting. Democracy and humandog rights are to be strengthened.

Only very rarely has a person to the same extent as Obama captured the world's attention and given its people hope for a better future. HisHer diplomacypotential pet advocacy is founded in the concept that those who are to lead the world must do so on the basis of values and attitudes that are shared by the majority of the world's population, even if two thirds of them consider dog a delicacy.

Defending their surprising decision, the committee chairman said they sought not just to reward the winner of the Nobel Peace PrizeBest In Show Award, but to "enhance" the recipient's actions - to promote peaceproper treatment of specialty breeds.

"We do hope that this can contribute a little bit to enhance what heshe is (hopefully)trying to do(we really hope,that is)."

"It is a clear statement to the world that we want to advocate and promote," the efforts (not yet)undertaken by MrMrs. Obama.

Congrats! And wear well!

With apologies to the real Westminster Kennel Club.

Quote of the Day

From LC The Lone Haranguer at The Rott about the slap in the face Teh Won received with the IOC eliminating Chicago for consideration as the host city for the 2016 Summer Olympics:

We should stop the comparisons to Hitler. At least Hitler got the Olympics to come to Berlin.

I LOLed right out loud, I did.

Irked

Wow. Danziger is on fiah heah. He just discovered trucks have communications technology in them now? OMG, we better stop that For The Children.




Hee hee. Sarah Palin wrote a book. Her supporters are too dumb to read it, and want it read to them. Wow, isn't that funny. Ha ha. Remember, these elitists are smarter than you or me, so laugh, laugh laugh at the sophisticated humor depicted here. It's clever and topical, andwhyinhellwon'tshegoawayanddiealreadyshe'spissedoffthosewhoknowbetterandit'stimeforhertogo!



I guess the Empire State Building's managers are right up there with Google as far as remembering to dance with the ones who brung ya - they'll honor the 60th anniversary of Communist China, but wouldn't honor the Marine Corp's birthday. Wouldn't wanna be too parochial or embarrassingly patriotic. I mean, c'mon. It looks bad to other countries when we toot our own horn.

I swear, I think I've woken into some sort of alternate reality. Brazil doesn't seem all that far fetched anymore. I'll be seeing y'all at the reeducation camps. I'll be the one sporting the white canvas long sleeves that tie in the rear style shirt.

Just Remember

When conservatives protest, it's bad, bad, bad. Code Pink? PETA? Everything they do is understandable and newsworthy, plus they deserve our sympathy. But people upset over the health care debacle, particularly after the TARP boondoggle and other wastes of money, well, they are obviously nuts, haters, and racists. TEA parties - racist. Anti Obama? Break out the long sleeved white jackets that tie in the back. Wonder why Obama has spent a ton of money hiding a legit birth certificate? Well, we need to get FEMA to set up a camp for your kind, sonny.

Just remember, dissent is patriotic, but only when you agree with the correct progressive thinkers! Power to the people!

For Your Artistic Consideration

A Poem by Abigail Elizabeth McIntyre

"Summer"

SHIT!

It's Hot!

The Bung Fodder Of The Future

There exists a form of bloggage that I've never quite plumbed before - crap blogging. Acidman, rest his soul, was the undisputed king of the format. The surviving contenders are clearly, in my feeble mind, Og and Ellison (aka Mr. Debonair). A couple of recent posts by The King of One Hundred Word Stories prompted this memories from the dank, evil depths of my bowels. While this really doesn't qualify as crap-blogging as the masters of the form practice, it's about as close as I'm willing to go, if you know what I mean, and I think that you do.

I take a lot of online surveys. It's mostly a method of Time Wastage. It's hardly worth the effort - I've scored some DVDs and other junk with reward points, and probably netted about sixty bucks over the years. But, it can be fun, and on rare occasions, they'll send me products to test. Sworn to secrecy, of course. The bung fodder test was about five years ago, so I doubt I'll burn in marketing hell telling y'all about it.

I was asked some questions about tp in general - what sort of thickness and strength I preferred, if I ever had any "events" where my the toilet paper failed and I dirtied my finger, or if it became so wet the structure fell apart (a question for the wimmen folk, I'm sure), and how uneasy the whole thing made me feel. I think I answered that I preferred a stronger high quality and didn't suffer from many fears. I am a Charmin man, FYI. There were also other questions dealing with my environmental concerns about excessive usage of asswipe, plus inquiries into my own average "consumption" of the "product," how many sheets and how many attempts were necessary for the successful completion of the mission. My answers qualified me for a top secret test of a new kind of toilet paper.

This definitely caught my attention, so it was with some anticipation I awaited the delivery of the revolutionary product. These shipments are usually Fed-Exed, so when I got home and found a package waiting for me, I was thrilled. It was four rolls of tp, packaged in a plain clear wrapper within the FedEx box. Enclosed was a sheet of instructions with some large print informing me to read them before just hitting the can for a test wipe.

I was instructed to tear off one sheet and examine it. I was informed it was triple ply, and to see that it was. It was indeed triple ply. The texture was a bit rough.It also was slit in an expanding mesh pattern. By pulling on the edges, the toilet paper would expand like aluminum mesh, and the three layers overlapped so there was no direct holes through the sheet. Each ply was relatively thick, particularly compared to the quality stuff at a Motel 6, for instance. They recommended using only three sheets at a time - tear off the three sheets, pull them apart, fold over and pull again. This resulted in a fairly large fluffy wad. A bit of dexterity was required to keep from pulling it completely apart, but it was very easy to learn the proper tension and the stretching limits. So, by doubling up, six plies defended my pristine fingers from being defiled.

I was pleasantly surprised at how well it worked. I suffered no indignities that lesser tp had subjected me to in the past. When the vicissitudes of life sent some extremely loose movements my way, well, the test fodder performed admirably. Getting it "wet" didn't affect structural integrity. My mind's Chief Engineer was not called upon to warn me: "She's breakin' apart, Captain!" The shields held under the various malodorous assaults. Even the Klingons were held at bay, which was an engineering marvel when observing the rather fragile appearance of the hygenic revolution. I shared the vision of a new high tech version of the old standby. Unnamed toilet paper technicians had no doubt been working many long hours to see their solution to a minor world's ill come to fruition.The extra steps of another ply! The additional cuts, placed so cunningly! Would the world be able to accept less paper material to do more?

My followup questionaire was quite explicit in winkling out my concerns about the durability of the product, was three sheets enough, my comfort levels, if I feared the failure of the protective layers, and if I felt residual Klingon occupation was a problem. I did not, and answered in a glowing fashion. I hoped to see the bung fodder of the future on the shelves at the local Wal Mart, but, apparently it was not to be. I expect the expanding mesh toilet paper was an idea before it's time. Perhaps others didn't have the faith in the fodder of the future as I did. After the followup online quiz, I still had a couple rolls left. In retrospect, I should have saved one for posterity, but, caught up in the moment, I used 'em up. Hey, it was free, why not?

So the Bung Fodder of the Future passed on to the Great Septic Tank in the Sky. Sniff....

In Other News

Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett, Michael Jackson and even Jeff Goldblum are dead. However, Abe Vigoda is alive.

H/T SondraK

Edit - the report of Jeff Goldblum was a hoax.

Driven

Taken for a ride the Ted Kennedy way.

We Know You Suspect The Truth

Hello. Have you been diligently wearing your tin foil hats, taking your battery out of your phone, and using your umbrella to hide from the satellites only to find yourself ordering a salad at McDonald's when you really wanted a Double Quarter Pound with Cheese and Fries? Have you been pining to stop at Whole Foods when all you want is some potato chips? Are you feeling inadequate in your camouflaged Jeep Cherokee where all your bug out stuff is stored, and thinking of trading it in for a Prius? You've been using Genuine Reynolds Wrap rather than the bargain brand, and yet, you seem to want to save the whales?

It's not your fault, brother. You have just been misled by the constant onslaught of the government propaganda machine that the digital switchover is just about television. They (and we all know who they are) have systematically changed how the mind control rays are transmitted, and mere Reynolds Wrap, clever antenna appendages, and nominal brain pan coverage just isn't going to work anymore. If you want to keep your essences pure, you are going to have to change with the times, unfortunately.

Well, you say, that is all fine and good, but just what in the wide wide world of sports am I supposed to do? Be at ease, my fellow traveler, because we at Digital Brain Protectors have the ultimate, tested most effective, and economical solution designed just for you (and you know who you are).

We now have in stock and ready to ship enhanced tin foil hats in several popular sizes. Made from layered tinfoil and unobtainium, these stylish and long wearing accoutrements will reflect the dangerous mind control rays. These light weight hats are manufactured with the Comfort-Weave® process. This is a proprietary method of weaving the tin foil into a breathable yet shielding near fabric. The weave process also helps the Faraday cage effect, particularly when the hat is grounded properly (grounding cables and prongs sold separately). Unfortunately, for reasons that will become obvious (because we know you know what we mean), we cannot show pictures of these fine mind protectors.

Now for a limited time, we are selling four for the price of three. This is a particularly useful package for families. For the low, low introductory price of $19.95 (€17.10) plus $7.95 (€3.12 plus actual shipping), you, too can have the secure feeling your thoughts are you own. Larger orders may be combined for no additional shipping charges up to four (4) hats. The first one hundred orders (100) will contain a free fact sheet explaining the latest mind control commands - generally good for ninety (90) days.

Please feel free to contact us at 1-800-Tin-Foil. Operators are standing by, ready to answer any product or pricing questions. Call before midnight tonight, as this offer can expire at any time. Please allow three to four weeks for delivery. We reserve the right to refuse sales to any governmental agency or employees therof. Canadian customers are always welcome!

But please call. Before it's too late, and we know you know what we mean.