Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Who are You Gonna Vote For?

Who are you gonna vote for, or even vote in the coming presidential election? I've been doing quite a bit of stewing over this dilemma, considering the quality of the candidates from a conservative point of view. Fred Thompson seemed to be the answer – at least he was close to what “we” as conservatives wanted. Yeah, there were a few discrepancies. He did vote for McCain Feingold, an unpardonable act for us right wingers. Then, he tweaked our hopes by getting in the race too late with too little, blowing supporter's money in the process. If he wasn't sincere, why the hell didn't he stick it out? Maybe he is a candidate for the future, but he did burn a few bridges in this campaign.

No matter. It is shaping up to be McCain vs Obama. Perhaps Shrillery can make a comeback, but that really doesn't improve our choices. While McCain seems to be supporting the war in Iraq, his support of open borders pretty well negates any security advantage we gain in Iraq. He is a supporter of big, expensive government – not the fiscally responsible candidate we yearn for. He has proven he is no supporter of the Constitution. He's already sold out the First Amendment, and while he seems to support the Second, I don't trust him. He is willing to sacrifice our nation's sovereignty with open borders. He does not support universal health care, but I don't really trust him on this, either. His willingness to “reach across the aisle” to some of our most socialistic senators gives me the willies. Probably the only saving grace he has is that he is a Republican – even if he is a RINO. It is possible that fellow Republicans in Congress can hold his feet to the fire on important issues the public is against, but our politicos seem to be “damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead.” Like the immigration issue. That seems to be about it in favor of a vote for McCain. Kim DuToit says we shouldn't waste our vote either by staying home or writing in another candidate. He says it can be compared to a strategic retreat – we hole up and pressure our Congressmen for the issues we want to go our way. Giving in to the Democrats with both Houses and the Presidency means far more significant losses. We can only expect incremental improvements, and this holding action may mean incremental losses. Rachel Lucas gives us an analogy comparing living with the possible candidates to dog bites. If McCain wins, it would be like being bitten three times a day, but if Hillary or Obama win, it would be like being bitten seven or eight times a day. We have the choice of the frequency of dog bites, but not the choice of avoiding them altogether. The issue of Supreme Court appointees rears it's head here as well. W was forced to pick “more favorable” candidates by the Republican Congress (re: Harriet Meiers). A Democratic Presidency allied with a Democratic Congress would surely mean a liberal swing in the Court.

Then we have a different point of view from others. Tam and RobertaX feel that we are fools if we vote for McCain, because that only reinforces the apparent contempt for the conservative side of the party. A vote for McCain only insures we will have more of the same in the future. As for shouldering the blame of “wasting” a vote by writing in another candidate Serenity calls BS. She says she is not responsible for how other people vote and she has the right (which she certainly earned – she's ex-military) to vote for who or how she wants to. The people on this side of the issue feel that we won't go down the drain in four years, because the Republicans will be energized and willing to do the “right” thing. Sooner or later, the Republican Party will come around to our way of thinking. If they don't, they'll continue to have their asses handed to them come election time. Besides, the Democratic majority in Congress can't seem to get their act together well enough to bring the legislation we conservatives fear now, even if W may or may not veto it. And, Serenity points out McCain has sold us out already vis-a-vis health care and the border - unbelievable as it may seem, the Secure America and Orderly Immigration Act of 2005 contained a provision giving insurance companies the right to help devise a plan for extending US health care to Mexico. Their hatred of McCain prevents them from voting for him.

Then there is a third view – that we are screwed already. Say Uncle says:

No, not guns (we’re winning that), those other things.
I mean, us small government, individualist, small l libertarian, whatever buzzword you want to use, sorts. It’s true. You see, I want less .gov influence in, well, everything. Your average American is the exact opposite. They want Free Federal Moneytm for pork projects in their district, they want free health care, they want social security, they actually think the $600 rebate they’re getting in a couple months is a good thing, they want the .gov to write a big check and bail out their mortgage company, they want a puppy, they want to suckle at the .gov tit. It’s true. Deal with it. We’re the minority and that is that. Put on your big boy pants and deal with it.


And that is the future unless Americans get off their collective ass and do something about it. But they won’t, American Idol is on. You see, a government that can do all of that stuff mentioned way up in the first paragraph is too big. And it will bring more of the nanny state. There are thousands of surveillance cameras and police armed with machine guns that look more like soldiers than Officer Friendly in our big cities. Governments are banning or trying to ban transfat, smoking, restaurants from serving fat people, and anything that is not made out of soft foam rubber. For your safety, of course. Police are routinely raiding the wrong houses, or raiding based on scant evidence (like your power usage for a particular month) and killing innocent people over drugs. Police routinely are caught beating the crap out of someone, and there are never adequate consequences for that. We lost Kelo. Your property is only yours until the .gov says they want it. They can tap your phones, read your email, and have all your financial information. And no one is doing anything about it except a few guys discussing it on the internet.

All true, no doubt.

What are we to do? Do we throw up our hands and give up? Do we yearn and work for a “reset button?” Do we go on and vote for McCain, holding our noses in contempt? Or, do we go to the polls, vote for our choices in the regional elections and give the Republicans the bird?

Hhrrmm. This whole issue reminds me of a Christian and an Atheist arguing about whether God exists or not. It is a matter of faith. Some of the major players in this internet maelstrom are atheists or agnostics, and might blow a gasket if their views are said to be based on faith.

After all, all of these decisions are based on learned discussions, examinations of histories, voting records, clear records of candidates stand on issues and whatever sort of scientific proof one could ask for. “It is the only logical course of action” as Mr. Spock would say.

But no one, no matter the logic, can see the future.

All we have is our hopes that our actions can control the future in a way we find advantageous. If we could see the future and the consequences of our actions, then choosing would be simple. We might just become a people ruled by logic rather than emotions. But then again, that idea would require responsibility for our decisions, rather than completely selfish choices. The electorate as it exists right here and now is concerned with selfish choices.

So, what am I gonna do? Right now, and this could change at any moment – I'm leaning toward getting bitten a few times a day less and considering this a holding or retreat action. I do not have faith that Democratic control over two of the three branches will continue to be ineffective, plus I have faith that they will control the third yet again. I think perhaps Hillary might be the lesser of two evils considering Barack Obama. While both are committed socialists, I have faith that Hillary would support the war “better” than Barack, and her administration would be hamstrung by the Clinton propensity for scandal. Perhaps Obama is an empty cipher that would prove ineffective, but I fear the possibility of his being effective more.

I don't have faith that letting the Donks win will bring the Republicans back to our way of thinking before any major damage is done. I fear the Donks might be in power for far longer than four or eight years. I also fear that many of the Democratic proposals might be met with enthusiasm by McCain, but I have faith that my Congress critters can keep him honest. Actually, I trust Roberts and Moran – Brownback, not so much. He is an open borders critter, flip flops not withstanding. I also trust that here in Red State Central, my vote isn't gonna count for much anyways – McCain will carry Kansas no matter who gets my vote. He might even stop in to campaign in KC or Wichita, and not ignore us completely. Maybe he'll stop in Topeka, just to piss of Kathleen Sebelius (D), Governor. Probably not, since he is a uniter, not a divider.

So, this is the tenuous position I've taken. This offer may expire at any time without notice. Your mileage may vary. You just better watch yourself, McCain, or I'll not vote for you. Yeah, that will show him.

I Got Nuttin

So, suffering from a dearth of inspirational ideas, I'll raid the 'ole email inbox today:


Law of Mechanical Repair- After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.

Law of the Workshop - Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of the Telephone - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

Law of the Alibi - If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now (works every time)

Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Law of the Theater
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

Law of Coffee - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Rugs/Carpets - The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

Law of Location - No matter where you go, there you are.

Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

Brown's Law - If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

Oliver's Law - A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Wilson's Law - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it. (this one is true every time!)

Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.

H/T Nunkle Kim

Monday, February 25, 2008

How to Behave on an Internet Forum

How To Behave On An Internet Forum

Just remember, I'm here to help.

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Smilin' Bob Deflated

Enzyte Maker Found Guilty of Fraud

CINCINNATI (AP) — A federal court jury on Friday found the owner of a company that sells "male enhancement" tablets and other herbal supplements guilty of conspiracy to commit mail fraud, bank fraud and money laundering.


Television ads for Enzyte feature "Smiling Bob," a goofy, grinning man whose life gets much better after he uses the product, which allegedly boosted his sexual performance.


Prosecutors claimed customers were bilked out of $100 million through a series of deceptive ads, manipulated credit card transactions and the company's refusal to accept returns or cancel orders. They said unauthorized credit card charges generated thousands of complaints over unordered products.


Prosecutors claimed customers were bilked out of $100 million through a series of deceptive ads, manipulated credit card transactions and the company's refusal to accept returns or cancel orders. They said unauthorized credit card charges generated thousands of complaints over unordered products.

Damn. Just damn. Here I was gonna put in an order, 'cause ya know since it's on TV it's just gotta be true....

H/T Ace of Spades

Friday, February 22, 2008

Star Trek: The Sex Generation

I'm not necessarily a total scifi geek, but I'd suppose I'm nearly a Trekker. No, I don't put on ears and go to a con, but I enjoy watching the shows. This little clip cut from various episodes of STTNG is pretty good.

H/T Ace of Spades

Thursday, February 21, 2008

That Look

That Look

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Scary. Just scary.

In My Head

This song has been in my head the past few days. I don't mind, though.

I knew they were one hit wonders, but a trip though Wikipedia's entry on this band gave up some info I didn't know. This song was originally attributed to Leadbelly, but it turns out to be an adaptation of an old folk song, perhaps as old as an eighteenth century marching cadence about a flintlock rifle. The NAACP and the Congress of Racial Equality didn't care for the lyrics, labeling them as racist. I guess it was ok when Leadbelly sang them. I can remember the stink raised.

At any rate, them boys sure could play that there guitar!

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

The Which 80s Movie Scientist Test

Your Score: Ray Stantz

146 Heart, 161 Genius, 120 Cool, 167 Excitability

Dr. Raymond Stantz - (Dan Aykroyd)

Ghostbusters (1984)

You are Ray Stantz! The heart of the Ghostbusters. You're well-meaning, smart, and you have a childlike sense of wonder about the world. You might get taken advantage of, every once in a while, but it's okay... You're doing your part to help save the world.

"Gozer the Gozerian... good evening. As a duly designated representative of the City, County and State of New York, I order you to cease any and all supernatural activity and return forthwith to your place of origin or to the nearest convenient parallel dimension."

Other scientific possibilities:

Gary Wallace

Wyatt Donnelly

Peter Venkman

Jordan Cochran

Egon Spengler

Doc Brown

Newton Crosby

Paul Stephens

Ben Crandall

Wayne Szalinkski

Winston Zeddemore

Ben Jabituya

Lazlo Hollyfeld

Ray Stantz

Buckaroo Banzai

Chris Knight

Link: The Which 80s Movie Scientist Test written by xxyl on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Peersona Test
View My Profile(xxyl)

Oddly enough, I just watched this the other night. I do know I'm not like Venkmann!


Sunday, February 17, 2008

One Laid Back Cat

This cat is more than patient!

That hound was lucky it wasn't turned into puppy chow!

Friday, February 15, 2008

My Mother

This time of year is somewhat bittersweet for me. Yesterday, February 14, Valentine's Day, was my Mother's birthday. She would have been 79. She passed away January 30, 2001.

Mother grew up the younger sister of two girls in Oklahoma City in the depression. Her father was a butcher and an alcoholic. He wasn't violent in any way - just a typical depressed Irishman. She graduated from Central State (now OCU) with a teaching degree. Her first job was in Liberal, KS. She found a better job in Cimarron and moved there. That is when she met my father. Mother was always a pretty independent sort - she got tired of waiting for Dad to ask her to marry him, so she got a job in Topeka. Dad chased her there and won her heart.

I arrived a little over a year after their marriage. My sister arrived almost five years later. When Mother thought Sis was old enough - I think she was in first or second grade - she returned to teaching. The farm wasn't producing enough income. Mother showed her independence in several ways - Dad had the idea that Mother should pay for all the household expenses, plus she should turn her check over to him to do what he pleased. There were many bitter arguments about overdraft charges. Mother couldn't feed and clothe us and have play money for Dad. She opened a separate account in her name and started depositing her checks there. Suddenly, the only overdrafts were in Dad's account.

It wasn't like Mother was blowing the money. She took up sewing - making Sis's and her clothes. Egads did I ever get tired of fabric shops when Mother went shopping.She didn't sew for me - she said boy's clothing was harder to sew, and she didn't think she was good enough. Mother had crooked teeth. She made sure Sis and I didn't. Sis's mouth took a fortune to fix - but that was something Mother was adamant about. Yearly eye checks were also part of our care. Usually that meant new glasses every year for us kids. All this might not seem like a big deal now, but it was back then, particularly with no insurance. A lot of my contemporaries didn't have it that good.

It also meant cooking economically - so no instant this or that, no canned junk, no Pop Tarts or Tang. We got orange juice in the frozen cans. Occasionally, we'd get breakfast rolls. She'd try to hide them from Dad - he'd eat all of them and us kids wouldn't get any. We popped our popcorn in oil - no expensive Jiffy Pop for us. I am not complaining at all - we got superior food at the expense of convenience for her and helping relieve her budget.

She was a good teacher as well. She taught kindergarten at a neighboring town for many years, and she is still remembered in high regard to this day. Sis and I were the beneficiaries of Mother's education. She passed on a love for reading and learning. She had us listen to classical music and some of her favorite musicals. We did get a bit of culture out on the windswept prairie.

I think she put up with Dad until she thought I was old enough to get out on my own. I had just graduated high school. She'd tried for years to get Dad to go to counseling with her, but he wouldn't have any part of it. It didn't bother him to be threatening, either. So, when she had him served with papers, one set was restraining orders. Now Dad wanted to go counseling. He learned rather quickly that the rights he thought he was due as a husband was a pipe dream. Mother was just tired of fighting. The divorce settlement was just enough cash for Mother to get moved and set up in Oklahoma City. She didn't want half the farm. Dad complained bitterly about the cash settlement one too many times to me - I reminded him that she could have made him sell out and give her half. He didn't bother me about that issue after that.

So, yeah, I blame Dad for the failure of the marriage. There is a lot I'm not mentioning. He never was physical - his was more of a mental abuse. He sure threatened on the physical side but he never followed through. In his defense, he never screwed around on Mother, nor was he a drinker. His crimes were being selfish and thoughtless. I can guarantee Mother spanked me more than Dad ever even considered.

And not that Mother was perfect. She took Sis with her to Oklahoma City and pretty well turned her against him. Sis was Dad's favorite - she'd whine for a toy around Dad and generally always get it. Me - not so much. He really tried to connect with Sis, but they didn't allow it. He had no clue, either. He bought her a guitar thinking in his dreams she would play for him, but he neglected to consider what she wanted. It ended up in a pawn shop somewhere. In his world, kids were supposed to like what he wanted them to.

But, my Dad is a post or fifteen for some other time. This is about my Mother. She taught in the OKC school system until she retired. Her idea of retirement was to sit at home, reading and watching her favorite movies. And eating. And eating more.

She would not get out and walk or do anything physical at all. Sis couldn't handle her. Sis would ask me to berate Mother when I'd visit. "Oh, I'm exercising more every day and I'm cutting back on eating fattening foods" she told me one day. When I pointed out she was lying to me, she started to get pissed until I pointed out she was stuffing her mouth with Christmas candy. It didn't matter, she was bound and determined to do it her way.

It turned out she had arthritis, particularly in her knees. Her patellas were basically gone. She had knee replacement surgery. It also turned out she was suffering from a mild case of senile dementia. Apparently, the condition can be accelerated by anesthesia. It was the beginning of the end for Mother. She came home from the hospital, but she fell and called 911 to get her up too many times. Sis couldn't be there 24-7 - she had a job. It was the nursing home for Mother.

It became a full time job for Sis to look after Mother and keep after the home to care for her properly. Sis's job is nursing home administration, so she knows a thing or two about what constitutes proper care and who's butt to chew if the care is substandard. Which I think it is by default - I've sure never seen one I'd want to stay in. Mother began to drift - maybe she was "there" when you spoke to her, maybe not. She had a flash of her old self one day - she was in a wheelchair out in a common area, and I was talking to her there. I seemed to be getting nowhere, and I said something like "I hope you don't mind my being here and talking to you." She responded rather tartly "Of course not!"

She also started throwing up everything she was fed. Sis said Mother had heard some of the staff making fun of her about her weight, and she was all of a sudden self conscious about it. At any rate, she wasn't eating or holding it down, and she was losing weight. Sis was going nuts - if there was just one more thing she could try, she'd save Mother. Mother was trying to die, period. She just wanted to go out a bit thinner.

Mother was getting more sickly - I'd made several quick trips to OKC thinking I might not make it in time. One evening after I'd been in town a day or so, the Hospice volunteer, Sis and I discussed Mother's future, which wasn't great. The next morning, Mother was gone. She slipped away, not bothering anyone. Typical. She didn't want to bother anyone. She didn't want to die in front of her kids, so she didn't.

I stayed with Mother until the funeral attendant arrived. I had to help him put Mother in his big zippered bag and move her to his stretcher. It was the least I could do for the woman who raised me and gave me a good head start on life. She gave us all she could - we were her entire existence.

I miss my mama.

Northern Illinois University Massacre

It is a national tragedy. But, as long as people in schools cannot defend themselves, we can expect more to occur. "Guns are too easy to get. If we make it harder, then this will stop." Illinois requires a FOID card to purchase any firearm or ammunition. Major portions of the states have banned guns outright. Get back to me on how well that is working.

We disarm students and instructors, so naturally, criminals find them alluring as prey. The day we change our backward, idiotic, hysterical laws to allow people on school campuses to arm themselves, campus gun crime will plummet. Criminals don't shoot up gun shows, gun shops, police stations, or military bases. That's because those places are where you are most likely to encounter armed resistance. Criminals shoot up schools because they are one hundred percent certain they won't be stopped until they've had their fun.

And after comparing our gun free solutions to the Israeli approach:

The Israeli children are alive. A whole bunch of ours are dead. We ban guns on campuses. The Israelis do not. Our bans cause massacres. That's all there is to it.

Go and read the rest. Steve H. knocks another one out of the park.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Valentine's Day

More NSFW here

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Another Update

Well, it's been a while since I updated my health situation. Mostly I've been waiting for the twelfth for my appointment with the local neurologist. So, I finally see him and he did his analysis of my neural pathways. It seems I have a major loss of neural signal in my left elbow and wrist, and in my right wrist. His immediate recommendation was surgery for all three sites. He kicked me back to my primary physician - who also happens to be a general surgeon. I was fortunate to get to see him today.

Apparently, the problem with the wrists is carpal tunnel, with the usual surgery associated with that condition. The solution to the elbow will be to move the nerve from "under" the elbow further up the arm. My doctor has done that procedure, and does carpal tunnel, but he felt like the elbow should be done by someone who does it frequently.

So, I've got an appointment the twenty fifth of this month to see that surgeon. Nothing sooner was available. The sheer amount of time this is taking is getting to be depressing. I'm for thinking my mission will be to convince his receptionist to give me a canceled slot sometime between now and then, and try to pick up the pace a bit.

If I had a bit more strength and endurance in my left arm I could be driving, but just herding the ol' pickup around for a couple hours really takes a toll. I've got to have some arm strength to steer while the right arm runs the shifter on the big truck. I don't have ten or eleven hours in that arm right now. My buddy the chiropractor says I wouldn't get much from rehab because I need more nerve control to move those weak muscles, or I'd have really been pushing the rehab angle.

Money probably won't be an issue - there are enough income resources to keep me going for a while. I just will be tapped out at the end of this deal. I just have to keep perspective - this existence beats the hell out of the alternative! I'm just not ready for my dirt nap!

Another one of my buddies (Hoss) has been out of work longer than I have. He had a four hundred barrel steel tank set on both his feet, severely breaking one. He had pins installed, and when they were removed, he had to have a skin graft because there was a big hole left. Plus, when he fell down when the tank set on him, he injured his shoulder. Tomorrow he has surgery to repair his rotator cuff. So, he's gonna be out for some time yet.

We were talking about all this the other day, and we decided that winter was a good time for this to happen. Neither of us have been snowed in at a motel or a truck stop for several days waiting for the roads to clear, nor have we had to chain up or fight driving through a blizzard. We've been at home warm and comfy while our compadres have been out fighting that crap. And this winter has been worse than winters past. Colorado used to care less about oversize loads moving in winter - most of the state laws around the nation require us to be parked in inclement weather. This year, Colorado has swung to the other extreme. If the roads had the slightest amount of snow cover, our guys (along with all the other oversize haulers) were parked waiting for snow to melt. Since a major part of our market either is in Colorado, or we have to drive through to get to northeastern Utah (another oil hotspot) this policy shift has severely affected us.

So, even though I'd have preferred a different outcome, there are good sides to all of this. I just have to remind myself occasionally.

Monday, February 11, 2008

Cannon Challenge Game

This game rocks - "Take charge of your own Non-Line-Of-Site (NLOS) cannon, the revolutionary gun that represents the future of U.S. Field Artillery. Use the simulated elevation and velocity controls to destroy enemy targets with indirect fire."

You get fifteen shots for each stage. Any leftover rounds are bonus points, when you use up your fifteen, the game is over. The screenshot shows the results of my very first game. I should keep notes so followup shots in the same range would be easier than continually ranging fire. It is pretty cool - give it a try!

Sunday, February 10, 2008

How the Lord of the Rings Should Have Ended

Well, as you all know, I'm at home watching movies. Turner Classic Movies had a showing of Return of the King tonight. Naturally I had to watch it, even though I've seen it three hundred twelve times already. I was introduced to the books in my freshman year at college. Both my roommate (still on of my best friends) and I devoured the books - even skipping some classes to reach the end. Both of us were, and still are, sci-fi and fantasy geeks. I don't read much new stuff anymore, but I'll reread some favorites from time to time.

At any rate, the movies were anticipated and enjoyed by most of the fans of Tolkien's work - ya can't please everyone. Even so, there has been a rather large plot hole in both the novels and the movies. We winkled it out ourselves way back when, but still managed to suspend disbelief because we enjoyed the ride so much. However, after seeing this little video, I have to laugh every time I see one of the movies. If you haven't figured it out by now what the plot hole is, and wish to remain ignorant and enjoy the books and movies without irony, I strongly recommend not watching the video. However, if you are like me, you'll watch it.

"That was incredibly easy" indeed!

Saturday, February 09, 2008

Junky Gets His Fix

I've been suffering from withdrawal for a couple of months now. The NFL just hasn't had the punch necessary for my habit - and the NHL and NBA- are you kidding me? I'm sorry, I know there are many among you that find those acronyms the holy grail of sports, but the three letter bunch are just watching paint dry to me.

Well, tonight was pretty special. The Budweiser Shootout was broadcast. It's not a points race - it's just run for money and pride. Teams bring cars realizing they might not bring them home. The racing gets pretty rough, and at Daytona, that rough racing eats cars like candy. Last season was painful for Dale Earnhardt Jr. fans (me included). Bad luck, inferior engines, and problems with the boss - his stepmother Theresa - left Junior out of the Chase. It was readily apparent Junior wanted to have more control over his destiny - when he was unable to gain any control at Dale Earnhardt Inc., he left for the beckoning greener pastures of the phenomenally successful Hendrick Motorsports stable. Junior's goal was simply to put himself in a position to win races, something that circumstances denied him working for his stepmother. People, including said stepmother, questioned Junior's commitment to the job at hand. True, he had issues when he was younger, but he has in many people's eyes shown considerable dedication to the sport in recent years.

So, big changes were in the wind. Junior wanted to keep the number eight - the number his grandfather used to use, and Junior made so famous. Not only did Theresa resist Junior's attempts to take control of DEI, she also refused his usage of the number. So, Rick Hendrick dealt for the 88 from Yates Racing. Budweiser wanted to go along, but Hendrick couldn't use them. So, new sponsors for Junior were in order. Amp energy drinks and the National Guard signed on.

I'm gonna channel my dad for a minute - "It's time for Junior to piss or get off the pot." There are no excuses left - he must perform.

So, in his inaugural appearance for Rick Hendrick, Junior wins the race. Much celebration in the Junior Nation ensues. He couldn't have done it without help - restrictor plate racing insures that. Tony Stewart helped Junior when it suited him, and ended up racing for the win. Jimmy Johnson - one of Junior's teammates - helped push Junior for the win. But it was also true that Junior had a good car, and he drove it very well. There is a reason he is considered a master at restrictor plate racing, after all. Jimmy and Jeff Gordon didn't get up to the front until late in the race, mostly because they were driving replacement cars. Their primary cars were destroyed in the second practice session yesterday.

Yes, the soap opera that is Nascar is back. Tony Stewart tried to pass Kurt Busch on the outside in the practice session, and something went awry. He ended up taking Kurt out, and the resulting melee collected several cars, including JG and JJ. Then, on the way back to the garage, Kurt slammed into Tony's car to show his displeasure. They ended up blocking each other for a while trying to get through the pit opening to the garage. Rumor has it that when summoned to the Nascar trailer, a punch was thrown by the driver dressed in orange, connecting to the driver in blue. There will be penalties issued by Tuesday, and the two drivers were warned to behave themselves tonight. They have had their issues with each other in the past as well. Neither are strangers to the concept of probation.

Channeling my father again: "I'm happier than a pig in s**t!" There is a lot of practice coverage, the Twin 150's, qualifying and finally culminating in the running of the 50th Anniversary Daytona 500. And that is just the start of the season. Junior is lookin' good, there is gonna be fightin', cussin', rubbin' and racin' to watch. Yee Haw!

Redecorating Idea

Fire Power Bullet Knobs and Cabinet Pull Knobs
. Were I redecorating and had the money, I'd so be all over this.

Thursday, February 07, 2008

Gender-Bending Barnacles Grow Huge Penises in Rough Waters

Barnacles can radically change the size and shape of their penises to fight the waves and have sex.

Here is the challenge for the tiny hard bodies: Barnacles want to mate but are permanently bound to whatever rock or hull they once latched onto.

Given that, they have evolved the longest penises of any creature for their size — up to eight times their body length — to seek out and have sex with their neighbors. (Most barnacles are hermaphrodites that alternate between male and female sexes over time.)

But large penises can be a problem, what with waves crashing down on the surfaces where these crustaceans often dwell.

A too-long penis could flop around uselessly in such turbulence, drastically cutting down a barnacle's chances for procreation.

Rest of article here.

Ain't science great? Heh.

H/T SondraK

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

The Last Picture Show

It seems everyone who blogs dips into their day, whether at work or home, for inspiration. Since I've been housebound for quite some time now, the things that stand out are kinda few and far between. It snowed last night and this afternoon, so going outside to play (shoot .22s) is right out.

After I got out of the hospital, I popped for the DirecTV upgrade to HDTV. I noticed HDNet wasn't included in my HD package, so I went ahead and ordered it later. Today I got my money's worth.

The Last Picture Show played on one of the HDNet channels today. Hadn't seen it in years. It was from the book of the same name by Larry McMurtry, who you might remember as the author of several Westerns, notably Lonesome Dove (which I'm rereading right now). Peter Bogdanovitch directed Cybill Shepherd's film debut, with plenty of high quality actors - Timothy Bottoms, Jeff Bridges, Ellen Burstyn, Eileen Brennan and Randy Quaid all performed well. Ben Johnson (one of my favorite character actors) originally turned his role down because he didn't care for the language in the script. John Ford finally talked him into the role if the character Sam the Lion didn't have to curse. Ben won one of the two Oscars this picture was awarded.

Cloris Leachman won the other Oscar (Best Supporting Actress) mostly on the strength of the last scene. For those of you who haven't seen the movie, or it's been a few years, she portrayed Ruth Popper the coach's wife. She and Sonny Crawford (Timothy Bottoms) had an affair, and Sonny pretty well screwed her over, dumping her for his shot at Jacy (Shepherd). Sonny had just come from the street where his childhood friend, the simple minded Billy (Sam Bottoms) had been killed by a passing car. He'd been out sweeping the street - sweeping being one activity he was good at. The men standing around his body gossiping about the poor kid got to Sonny, and he found himself at Ruth's house.

Quoting IMDB:

Cloris Leachman's last scene in the movie was printed on the first take without any previous rehearsals. She wanted to rehearse the scene but director Peter Bogdanovich thought it would ruin the scene if it was rehearsed. Ultimately his sense of direction paid off, as Leachman won the Academy Award for her performance.

Timothy Bottoms' performance isn't anything to sneeze at here - his raw need is evident. But the range of emotions both subtle and dramatic that Cloris displayed is simply powerful. The Academy did this one right. Ellen Burstyn was also nominated for this picture and category, but I'm for thinking Cloris blew her away.

Bucket List

Of course, The Bucket List is going to lend itself to blog memes - shoulda seen this one coming! I wuz tagged by One Cowgirl.

I'm not sure how many items constitute a complete list, but here goes:

1. New Corvette, nationwide driving tour for as long as it takes until I get bored. This means Washington DC and the Smithsonian plus the historical sites, Nascar races across the country (Bristol #1 fer dern sure), Philadelphia (working on national history here) and other colonial goodies, then head west. Maybe NYC as well, but probably Bowling Green KY (I am in a Vette, after all), Atlanta and other points south. Visit all the relatives and friends that still claim me on way. Who knows what might attract me. I could stop in Denton TX at the Peterbilt plant, for instance. Devil's Tower and Mount Rushmore are in the same neck of the woods. I think y'all get the idea - just keep going until I run out of land to drive on. Of course sampling the local cuisine would be included.

2. Drive a Duesenberg. SJ (supercharged) model preferred. I can't imagine owning one - several years ago the basic J Murphy bodied ones started at a cool half million. Maybe I can be friends with Jay Leno and he'll let me ride in one.

3. Drive a Ferrari F40 or F50. An Enzo would work just fine as well.

4. It wouldn't hurt to go to a driving school or three - like The Richard Petty Driving Experience, plus some road racing action.

5. Get involved in local racing - stockers or whatever. Own and drive. Just for fun.

You may notice a common theme here... There is a distinct lack of things like jumping off tall structures with a rubber band tied to me, or jumping out of a perfectly good airplane. I might consider foreign travel - but only after the domestic scene itch was scratched.

Mmmkay, so who to tag? Who will get a kick out of this?


Morning Glory

Mrs. Grim


If I didn't list ya, feel free to play along anyways!

Valentine's Day Pickup Lines

Well, we all know Valentine's Day is nearly upon us. As a public service I offer these pickup lines for the date challenged among us (me, too, but if ya think I'll use these, yer off yer rocker).

1) Did you fart? Cuz you just blew me away.

2) Are yer parents retarded? Cuz ya sure are special.

3) My love fer you is like diarrhea, I can't hold it in.

4) Do you have a library card? Cuz I'd like to check you out.

5) Is there a mirror in yer pants? Cuz I can see myself in em.

6) You might not be the best lookin' girl here, but beauty's only a light switch away.

7) Fat Penguin.... Sorry. I just wanted to say somethin' that would break the ice.

8) I know I'm not no Fred Flinstone, but I bet I can make yer bed-rock.

9) I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.

10) Yer eyes are as blue as window cleaner.

11) If yer gunna regret this in the mornin, we kin sleep til afternoon.

And .. The best fer last!!

12) Yer face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it my nuts tighten up!

H/T Larry S

Saturday, February 02, 2008

Bill would make it illegal to feed the obese

Article here

Three legislators want to make it illegal for restaurants to serve obese customers in Mississippi.

House Bill No. 282, which was introduced this month, says: Any food establishment to which this section applies shall not be allowed to serve food to any person who is obese, based on criteria prescribed by the State Department of Health after consultation with the Mississippi Council on Obesity Prevention and Management established under Section 41-101-1 or its successor. The State Department of Health shall prepare written materials that describe and explain the criteria for determining whether a person is obese, and shall provide those materials to all food establishments to which this section applies. A food establishment shall be entitled to rely on the criteria for obesity in those written materials when determining whether or not it is allowed to serve food to any person.

The proposal would allow health inspectors to yank the permit from any restaurant that "repeatedly" feeds extremely overweight customers.

The bill, written by GOP Rep. W. T. Mayhall Jr., was referred to the Judiciary and Public Health committees, but The Jackson Free Press doesn't expect it to garner much support in the statehouse.

About two-third of Mississippians are considered overweight or obese, according to a recent analysis of federal health data.

This means that restaurants cannot serve overweight customers at all. Since I'm obese, I do have a dog in this fight. So what the hell - I have to starve myself before I'd get served in MS? Fat people get hungry too. Yeah, this beautimous bit of legislation is unlikely to pass, but it sure looks like socialism is alive and well to me.

In Germany, they came first for the Communists, And I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a Communist;

And then they came for the trade unionists, And I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a trade unionist;

And then they came for the Jews, And I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a Jew;

And then . . . they came for me . . . And by that time there was no one left to speak up."

Martin Niemöller

Friday, February 01, 2008

Sexual Harassment in the Workplace

Because I'm all about keeping high standards of correctness and consideration for my fellow workers - just another service here at The Poor Farm.