Wednesday, February 27, 2008

I Got Nuttin

So, suffering from a dearth of inspirational ideas, I'll raid the 'ole email inbox today:


Law of Mechanical Repair- After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.

Law of the Workshop - Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of the Telephone - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

Law of the Alibi - If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now (works every time)

Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Law of the Theater
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

Law of Coffee - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Rugs/Carpets - The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

Law of Location - No matter where you go, there you are.

Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

Brown's Law - If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

Oliver's Law - A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Wilson's Law - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it. (this one is true every time!)

Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.

H/T Nunkle Kim


Anonymous said...

The Law of Human Anatomy and Gravity:

Whatever doesn't stick out, hangs down.

Sezme said...

Wilson's Law - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it. (this one is true every time!)


Paintsmh said...

Sigh, these are so true. Every one of them. Particularly the coffee one. Which is especially true if you have a job that involves cattle.

And I personally feel that we should add the farmers law. Which states that every time one showers and dresses up nicely for some function or get together one of the following will occur: a) the cows/livestock will get out and run through the flower beds or down the highway b) that (insert pregnant animal species) which has been refusing to calve/foal/lamb/kid will proceed to have the biggest infant known to the species, probably backwards and in a very inconvenient location, or c) you will check one last time to make sure everything is all set before you leave and discover that some critter has gotten themselves into some terrible predicament that they must be rescued from immediately.