There Is Reality

And there is whatever world Mike Luckovich lives in. Guess what?!? "GOP BASE" can read, and sees what the hoary old RINO is up to. Which is why we're pissed - they just think they're putting something over on us. They are not. We are well aware of every time the RINOs in charge try to sell us out.

Amazingly enough, tea partiers actually are smarter in science literacy than non tea partiers - which includes conservatives and liberals. And amazingly enough, this even made the MSM take notice, so Mike Luckovich has no excuse for continuing this negative and unfounded stereotype.

Other than being ignorant, bigoted and intellectually lazy.

It Cannot Be So

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Forty years since Blazing Saddles was released? Suddenly I feel just a little bit older.

Of course the fart scene is probably the most iconic and representative of the humor contained within - somewhat crude, sophomoric and totally funny. Mel Brooks didn't depend on just dialog alone - the whole movie is full of visuals and sight gags such as the sign we read as the camera pans past the horses towards the men eating their beans: Administrative Personnel Only - aged, Western fonts, and it just looks like a sign from the Old West. Mel made sure we got to see that little effort.

Mel also made use of some great comedic actors for his films, and this one is no exception.  Gene Wilder, Harvey Korman, and Madeline Kahn for sure. Actors like Clevon Little, Alex Karras, Slim Pickens and John Hillerman weren't known primarily for humor, but they were all great character actors that Brooks was able to utilize quite effectively, among so many others I'm not mentioning.

The movie truly was pretty weak at the end - as if Brooks really couldn't figure out an effective way to stop. When the "fourth wall" was broken and the last fight scene broke down studio walls into another set and then the cafeteria wasn't quite up to the previous standard. However, things were somewhat redeemed when Korman's character was shot and the heroes rode off into the sunset in a Caddy limo.

One thing we can count on for sure - a movie like this could never be made today.



H/T Og, who truly noticed the anniversary first

Can You Say Misleading?

I knew you could. This little scenario is correct in that the new farm bill does benefit some ag fat cats. Considering that eighty percent of the bill's budget goes towards food stamps is rather a different picture.

It sure ain't farmers snarfing up that budget, but they're getting the blame. Go figure.

Eight Pounds

Less than the day before, according to the Magical Mystery Scales.

The Plan

Here is what I know so far - Tuesday, I'll be getting scanned to inspect the defective heart valve. If it's serious enough, I'll have to go somewhere else and have someone new operate on it. The local cardiologist doesn't do much if any open heart surgery. But any major decisions will have to wait until the scans are read. So the plan is to keep trying to shed the water.

Whether or not I'm in physical shape enough to have the procedure done or not remains to be seen. In the meantime, they have started up using another diuretic. If the weird scales are reading correctly, I have lost two pounds. I have a brand spanking new bariatric bed and a bariatric recliner will be here tomorrow. I hadn't been sleeping well in the regular hospital bed, and my nurse noticed, and told my doctor so all this stuff could be ordered.

I'm not wild about open heart surgery. However, if the choice is operate or die I suspect I know the decision on my part.

And all I know for certain is that I will be here for a while yet.

At The Moment, I'm Pretty Bummed

Things are not improving here. I'm not losing the water, or any weight. I'm on a low sodium, diabetic and restricted liquid diet here, and my weight may actually be rising a tad. It's hard to tell, because I have to use the wheelchair scales because I'm too freaking big for the other kind, and these are less than reliable. We can get about a fifteen to twenty pound spread depending on where I stand on 'em, so I've been trying to be consistent and be in the same place. One thing is clear no matter - I'm not losing a damn thing.

So what is going on?

Several things. I apparently have kidney disease. What specific kind or if there is one, I have no idea - they all just say I have have kidney disease brought on by diabetes. So, they don't function as efficiently as they should, and one reason why the diuretics are less than effective at times. Because of the risk of damage to my kidneys, they decided to stop one of the diuretics - but they've been injecting these rather than giving them to me orally like I have been doing. Thus the increased risk. The cardiologist apparently decided that I needed the other drug and risk damage to my kidneys, because he reinstated one of them today.

Plus, they think I was eating too much sodium. I didn't even have a salt shaker in the house until recently when I bought one for a guest. I do not salt a damn thing.

But apparently what I've been eating has been too salty.

Personally, it does not seem logical that would be the problem because I sure as hell ain't getting any salty crap right now, and I'm not losing the water. If that was the problem, less salt would be an effective strategy for the solution. But it's not working, regardless of the cause.

But what do I know.

The local cardiologist has been after me in the past and is definitely looking at a leaky heart valve as a major contributor to the problem. The cardiologist I've been seeing told me I wasn't leaking enough for it to be worth the risk of an operation, and it wouldn't be causing me any trouble. When I repeated that to my main doctor she pointed out immediately that I was back in the hospital for congestive heart failure within a couple months, so maybe that was a pretty good indicator that it was a problem. And that is why I'm here - my heart is surrounded by too much fluid. At least that's what the xrays show.

Kinda hard to argue with that.

I like this particular cardiologist, but his office calls are higher and he wants to see me a lot more, and his labs are all higher priced, etc. Above and beyond what my insurance would pay.

So, back in the past, I got tired of that.

My main doctor told me I could sure get a third opinion and had a recommendation for another cardiologist that does valve work all the time and is quite familiar with fixing 'em up. But it sure seems to me I'm looking at some sort of heart surgery. Maybe they can do that with scopes and not have to open me up, I just don't know.

I just know that after my last open heart surgery I swore I'd rather die than go through that again - my time in the ICU was one long nightmare I don't care to repeat ever, ever again.

I had to ask why the leaky valve was a problem in this case as well, because I had no clue.

Apparently, there is a sort of backwash in pressure when the valve doesn't close completely and that increased pressure causes fluid to be forced into tissues in the lungs. It ain't my lungs that are hanging way the hell over my belt or raising water blisters on my shins along with edema everywhere, but apparently it travels. And fixing the valve may or may not decrease that back pressure.

Remember when I had the bright idea of having lap band surgery?

That is all right out until this crap is straightened up. I'm too weak for that kind of stuff. So that is also out as a strategy for improving my overall health - not gonna lose weight doing that real soon.

And I have no clue what my future here is. I still cannot walk very far at all without becoming winded. I can get around my house ok, but shop for groceries or go to the Post Office?

It wasn't happening before, and things aren't improving now anyhow.

I haven't seen my main doctor yet today, so you can imagine I'm full of questions. I also need something different for diabetic neuropathy in my legs. Yannow when your leg falls asleep, and when it wakes up you feel like it's got tons of pins and needles pricking you? Now imagine this going on all the time, and instead of pricks the needles are being driven in, and imagine your legs involuntarily jumping from the pain.

Yeah, it's kinda like that. She's put me on a particular drug that worked quite well for a while, but it's a pretty short term thing now. So in order to sleep, I have been taking Percocet to supplement gabapentin. I'm not wild about taking that kind of drug considering my past, and we need to try something different. I don't like the idea of runnin' around half baked all the time. This all came on after my fall earlier this year - I don't have much feeling left in either foot, but those ol' nerves still fire in pain.

Then, the edema has the skin around my knees all full of water, so it hurts to bend my knees back all the way. The skin on my belly is tight - so full of water. Some patches are all red and quite painful - they're trying to start up some stretch marks. I've got some already, and they're all full and inflexible as well. The veins on the back of my hands have disappeared, and my feet don't fit into my house slippers anymore. I honestly think I get so winded partly because I've maxed out weight wise beyond my ability to haul it around.

So, I can't get out and walk in order to get some exercise. It does more harm than good - stressing my heart, for instance.

And while trying to write this post, my left hand cramped up badly. This happens fairly frequently. It's usually a potassium deficiency because the diuretics really use that up. I already take Klor Con, which is a prescription potassium supplement. I also have to take magnesium supplements. I ate a banana and one of my pills, and it seems to have subsided. It generally reduces me to cursing and pulling the cramps out with my right hand.. I have had both hands go south, and that is no fun at all. That happened during one of my visits here, and it took an Act of Congress before anyone would do anything. We had to call my doctor and have her authorize the pills as well as a banana - that had to come from  food service and was delivered when they were darned well ready. The nurses could lose their jobs if they don't go through channels, so it's really not their fault something like that takes so long. They weren't happy that I didn't wait when I had a solution in my possession already, but I got kinda testy about it and went ahead and did it anyways. I had some friends bring me several bananas and I have my weekly supply of drugs with me. So, yeah, sit there and watch my hand twist and shout, or take a pill I already had. Gee, what a choice.

So, whose fault is all of this?

Well, I'm the one who didn't take care of himself until apparently it's too late, so you won't hear me crying "Why me, God?!?" Nope, I take responsibility for it all, and I really don't feel like I deserve a whole hell of a lot of sympathy other than I have been trying the past few years, and it ain't cuttin' the mustard.

So, I'm bummed.

Yee Haw

Calvin is having more success than moi

Welp, I'm back in the hospital again for much the same problems as before - retaining water to the point of congestive heart failure. I'm still weak as a kitten and tire far too easily just trying to walk a few yards, and I'm picking up weight steadily. I'm not eating a corresponding amount - it's water weight, but it's just wearing me down. The diuretics just aren't working like they should.

So, I'm for thinking I'll be here for a few days. On a fluid restriction - not allowed to drink more that a small amount every day, and one of the diuretics is intravenous.

So I'm gettin' poked and prodded, givin' blood alla time and now I'm thirsty. So we'll see, I guess.

1986

January 28, 1986 an o-ring in one of the boosters failed and when the leak was ignited, the ship blew up, killing the crew of the NASA shuttle Challenger.

It was a terrible tragedy. I am reminded of this quote:

“I guess the question I'm asked the most often is: "When you were sitting in that capsule listening to the count-down, how did you feel?" Well, the answer to that one is easy. I felt exactly how you would feel if you were getting ready to launch and knew you were sitting on top of two million parts -- all built by the lowest bidder on a government contract.” ― John Glenn

The astronauts knew the risks and went right on doing their jobs. Valor, bravery, whatever - but they deserve to not be forgotten.

I'll never forget what I was up to when the news was announced. I and my compadre were headed somewhere north of Hays to pick up a couple loads of milo. He was more or less my mentor, and I his apprentice - I hadn't been in trucking very long. The electronics in the truck I was driving were kinda strange - if I had my music radio on loud enough to hear, my CB would feed back if I talked on it. So when RJ felt like giving me his opinion on something, I had to turn down the music radio to respond. I'd been kinda going back and forth, and the news broke. He chose that moment to expound on some subject or another, and I told him to hold on a minute - there was some important news breaking. He did not take the hint, and was kinda miffed that I even asked him to quiet down momentarily. I finally told him to shut up - I was turning my CB off until I heard all about the shuttle explosion. He was not happy with me at all.

I didn't care. I don't much care now. I remember the news, and I'd bet he does as well, far more than whatever subject he had determined was so damned important. He got over it. The shuttle crew did not.

So, give 'em a prayer or shoot some positive karma their way, or whatever - honor them in some way today.

Oh, and there is in interesting interactive timeline here if you want to check it out. Only thing - if you leave that page open, it auto refreshes and it's a memory hog - big time.

I Thought Wimmin Just Pooted

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It's a girl deer, right? I've always been instructed that wimmin don't fart - they poot. Well, there ya have it.

Oh, and I figure this is a fake, but have no proof. Still funny - it tweaks the "pull my finger" section of my reptilian brain.......


H/T Dave Barry

Happy Birthday!

To John Moses Browning, genius prolific small arms designer/engineer/inventor.

There Are Days

Yannow, even if Miss Arbiter In All Things and General Know It All doesn't like it much, Billy is just being practical here. Just take yer dolly and go cry to Mommy. You know you wanna.

Poor Jeffy. He doesn't have much going on upstairs already - he's halfway to the back of the short bus on natural talent to begin with. What he doesn't need is to have smoke blown up his arse by his know it all sister. And what is really scary - for Jeffy to be an uncle, that means at least one of his siblings must procreate. Let's hope it's PJ - he's shown little signs of idiocy, or much of anything up to this point. There still may be hope yet.

To be honest here, Jeffy, I'm for thinking that even if you were in your teenage years this game might be beyond your ken. Sorry.

There is another possibility. He can read the box well enough to know he's too young, but he cannot master tying his own shoes. Perhaps he's been sandbagging it all along. It's a long shot, and I'd highly doubt it, but ya never know.

Kudos to Dennis - nailed it in one!

Yowza! This strip's setup took a hard turn to the left, and it was not good. Not good at all.

Unanimous decision for Loretta this round? I think so.

Funky Winkerbean is probably the most unfunny "humor" comic there is. Angst, remorse, general black moodiness, self recrimination, self doubt, you name it - these people are sick in the head. They can turn a sunny day gray.

But Funky sure as hell didn't deserve the total lack of respect that this gal is displaying towards her erstwhile customer. I say erstwhile, because she'd get an earful from me while I was on my way to the front desk for a refund and to bitch to management as well.  That's gone way beyond wry and dry and well into insulting, if ya ask me.

Yannow, I really, really like Zits. I'd not have Walt and Connie's patience when it comes to Jeremy's attitude. If I'd been that big of a smartass with my Dad, I might still be talking out of the side of my head instead of the front - he'd have walloped me right then and there. It wouldn't hurt Jeremy to show his parents some respect once in a blue moon.

I've Done Tolt This Here Story Before

I saw this on Facebook and got a large charge out of it, because I've seen this tableau before. Poor ol' Lady, my long suffering Golden Retriever, would find herself in this position with a problematic skunk that I eventually killed. She was mighty peeved, but she never put herself behind the bully, and she'd stamp her feet in disapproval. Much more than that might have provoked the little bastard. She was very territorial when it came to her food, and wasn't much for sharing. Not. One. Little. Bit.

But when you're outgunned, what do you do? Lady lived to fight another day without having her sense of smell destroyed.

Wonderful New Product We Can't Live Without

If you don't have any, you will be required to purchase some from the .gov's newly established failure of a website. Don't get any ideas about fighting this, because the Supremes have ruled this to be constitutional. However, if you already have a similar product that meets guidelines, you can keep that product. Kinda sorta more or less if you held your mouth correctly, at any rate. Otherwise, you'll be paying way beyond market price in order to subsidize those poor underprivileged folk who cannot afford any at this time - they'll receive substantial subsidies in order to purchase the stuff.

Do not ingest, fold, spindle, mutilate or mock. The NSA will know, and send the FBI, the IRS, the National Park Service, Smokey the Bear and McGruff the Crime Dog after your ass.

Thank you for your time, and remember that we are from the government and we're here to help. We're here to service the taxpayers, so be ready - you are gonna get serviced in a big way, if you know what we mean and we think that you do. Remember to vote early and vote often for Democrats - just remember that we are the party of free stuff, unlike those nasty Republicans, who don't want rich people paying for your rightful pile of goodies.

Classic

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Warning for language!

Carol Burnett and her comedy troupe were just plain brilliant, and this example of uncensored outtakes only reinforces their mastery of hilarity, timing and so on. Nothing like this on the vast wasteland these days.

H/T Nunkle Kim

Redskins

One of the benefits of blogging is that one spends a fair amount of time reading other bloggers. Sometimes, I even have my horizons expanded by reading different points of view. Which brings me to this:

We've surely all heard about the uproar about the usage of "derogatory Indian names" for sports teams and in particular the Washington Redskins have been singled out, mostly because of the rather politically incorrect comments the owner has made in the past.

Well, it just so happens that over the years I've counted a fellow blogger named Ron as a friend. He happens to be full blooded Choctaw, and is rightfully and damned proud of his heritage, and is heavily involved in the dealings of his tribe both spiritually and politically. His blog is called "The Local Malcontent" and he is based out of the Talihina, OK area. In the mountains.

At any rate, he has some very strong opinions on this subject and expresses himself quite well in this rant. I very strongly recommend you go and read the whole thing, as they say, because I suspect his position is not quite what one might expect when one listens to the limousine liberals stirring the pot.

I'm serious. Go and read!!!!

Bridge to Nowhere

I hope it doesn't decide to go somewhere, I'd prefer that it stays in my mouth. Got it installed Monday. The plastic one had really deteriorated - it was broken out at the ends. It had popped out and I set it aside while eating a turkey leg - it was tough and I had to cut it up just to eat it. Apparently, I set it with some of the tough skin I'd cut out and tossed the whole kit and kaboodle. I went through the trash a couple times and never did find it.

So, I went without front teeth for about a week. You didn't want to see a picture of that.

Going Back In Time

Sis just had some old pics of family members emailed to her, and she sent them to me. I picked out the ones that had that little extra meaning for moi. They are all from my Mother's side of the family.

My Grandpa Bill (I was four or so when he passed away), Grandma Julia (about sixth grade), one of our great aunts Aunt Pauline (quite the character), my mother's sister who was Aunt Judy to Sis and I (she passed away several years ago), her hubby Pleasant (Kim) - he's my Nunkle Kim who comments on this blog occasionally, and my Mother. This was labeled April 17, 1949.

Mother expressing awe and wonder!

Mother was born in 1929, so this is surely not a graduation picture. I can guarantee you that is her handwriting - I'd recognize that anywhere.

1-24-1948. Pleasant and Judy. I'd say they've been to a wedding, but I have no idea.

Well, anyways, this is a look back at some of my loved ones long before I came along. Hope you enjoyed 'em too!

The Legend Is True!

Don't leave home without it! If you leave one signal on for too long, you'll run it out of blinker fluid and possibly cause a major imbalance in your vehicle, making it prone to falling over.

So don't do that.

H/T Jon on Facebook.

They're Crazy!

For those of you who don't know, Spangles is a Wichita, KS based burger and fast food chain. I think the closest store is in Hutchinson - I've eaten there before and it's ok. I like their sourdough bun burgers.

So, because I'm bored and sitting at home, I guess I notice stuff like this. Check out this ad for some Spangles chicken sandwiches - but what I really want you to look at starts around the 25 second mark:

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I'll be the first to admit that a burger like that catches my eye. However, tackling one of those beasts would require rolling the ol' clock back by quite a few years - I just don't have the room or the appetite for a whole one of them.

Just what is it? 

It would be "The Beast."

It’s a burger named “The Beast,” and it features six 1/3-pound steak burger patties layered with 12 slices of American cheese and topped with mustard, ketchup, onion and pickle.
The burger, a 3,000-calorie monster, is too big for the average mouth to even bite. But that’s not stopping Spangles customers.
On New Year’s Day, said marketing director Stephanie Huckins, 12 people ordered the burger, including a pair of brothers who challenged each other to a burger-eating contest.
The burger, which costs $21.99, was the brainchild of Dale Steven, the chain’s co-owner.
“It’s something fun for people to talk about,” Huckins said. “We don’t expect people to eat it alone by any means.”
The Beast is a limited-time offering but will be around as long as customers keep ordering it, Huckins said.
By the way, if the sixer isn’t enough, you can also get The Beast in a value pack for $24.99.

I suspect we haven't started hearing the outrage from nutrition nuts about this - about how Spangles is irresponsible, people are gonna die, etc. and so on. The usual, in other words.

But honestly - how many of us aren't well aware that there would be a ton of calories and fat in this sucker? Criminy, just look at all the processed cheese food between the slices of meat!

I won't be ordering this bad boy any time real soon or even way down the road. However, I do salute Spangles for having the intestinal fortitude to introduce and market such a beast. I might have to make it a point to give them some business on their other offerings next time I'm in the Air Capital. Let's face it, this thing rawks.

Finally!

After all these years, my ol' innertube, forum and blogging pal finally met each other. That would be Chris Byrne, the Anarchangel and one of four forum moderators at The Gun Counter.

We first met when Kim DuToit started his first forum. Chris was the fourth person to sign up - I didn't get signed up until the next day. But, we were there at the start of it all, before either of us started blogging. Kim was an inspiration to both of us. If you remember, he wrote such controversial essays about the pussification of the American male and held some feces stirring views which he and his wife Connie famously defended tooth and nail. Chris and I used to have some very long and involved phone and IM conversations where we really got to know each other. I gotta say, if you don't know it, Chris is pretty much a genius. I had to give him some crap today when he started providing a little extra knowledge into the conversation - I asked his lovely wife Melody (Mel) what it was like being married to her own edition of Wikipedia. I had always thought there was no difference between a KC strip and a NY strip steak. I was wrong.

I'm laughing thinking about it now.

At any rate, Chris, Mel and their progeny Chris V were headed across I70 - they were going to Colorado Springs this afternoon on their way back out to the Phoenix area. Man, I'd never had Chris so close to home before - when they lived in northern Idaho, I was in the southern part - still way too far. But now? A two hour drive to Hays? To meet at a nice restaurant? You betcha.

We met at a small chain grill called Whiskey Creek Wood Fire Grill in Hays, where the steaks are marinated and grilled and delicious.

And by the way, Chris is a big guy. He gets his clothes from Omar the Tentmaker just like I do.

Melody with the sprout - rather I should say sapling. I've forgotten how long they've been together, but it has to be well over five years. And I finally got to meet the better half! She was kinda busy.....

The star of the show - I give you "Happy Boy." That is what the family calls him because he just plain smiles all the time. He's always happy. It's easy to get him to smile and laugh. He has no fear, and liked me right off. This is different than I'm used to - I'm far more used to fussy babies that are freaked out about how big I am - particularly if they first see me standing. Not this little turd - only he ain't so little. He's a statistical outlier, which is what Melody thinks is a better name for him. He's eating solid foods, refuses pureed baby food  - he just turns his head and the trap is closed when he doesn't like something. No drama, just outright refusal. He's manipulative - of course he had me wrapped around his little finger instantly.

It had been a while for sure. Chris was fascinated by two babies sitting at the end of the table next to us, and they were just as intent as him giving him the once over. None of them had anything to "say," but it was pretty comical. He was a head bigger than either one of them, and the same age. He also liked my beard and immediately tried to remove it from my face. Never got a grip on it, but I understand that he does - and does the same thing with hair. And he's got a grip for such a tyke.

At any rate, we didn't have much time - it was snowing when I rolled into Hays, and it wasn't getting any better while we were there. So we both knew the longer we stayed, the more bad weather we'd be fighting. Sure enough, I had to drive all the way to Dodge to finally run out of the snow. Chris ran out of it around Wakeeney, but they ran into weather in Colorado.

At any rate, even thought it was a pain in the arse to fight slick snowy roads, the whole thing was completely worth all of that. I'd do it again in a heartbeat.