Monday, September 07, 2009

Friday is Bad

One day a guy died and found himself in hell. As he was wallowing in despair, he had his first meeting with a demon.

The demon asked, "Why so glum?"

The guy responded, "What do you think? I'm in hell!"

"Hell's not so bad," the demon said. "We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinking man?"

"Sure," the man said, "I love to drink."

"Well, you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays all we do is drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, diet Tab and Fresca We drink till we throw up and then we drink some more!"

The guy is astounded. "Damn, that sounds great."

"You a smoker?" the demon asked.

"You better believe it!"

"You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from all over the world and smoke our lungs out! . If you get cancer, no biggie. You're already dead, remember?"

"Wow, the guy said, "that's awesome!"

The demon continued. "I bet you like to gamble."

"Why yes, as a matter of fact I do"

"Wednesdays you can gamble all you want. Craps, blackjack, roulette, poker, slots, whatever. If you go bankrupt, well, you're dead anyhow. You into drugs?"

The guy said, "Are you kidding? I love drugs! You don't mean . . ."

"That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack, or smack. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want, you're dead, who cares!"

"Wow," the guy said, starting to feel better about his situation, "I never realized Hell was such a cool place!"

The demon said, "You gay?"

"No."

"Ooooh, you're gonna hate Fridays!"


So, how's your weekend?

H/T Alan

4 comments:

ptg said...

Heh!

"So, how's your weekend?"

I couldn't have dreamed up a better weekend.

Jeffro said...

Your FB posts seem to indicate a very successful trip. Damn glad to hear about it.

ptg said...

Thank you, sir. Instead of going to the desert straight away, I'm going to Ames, IA. I'll help Jean with her plan to quit her job, sell her house and go to the desert with me. I was with her from 1973 to 1997. We were married for 22 years.I'm very happy to be partnering up with her again.

Jeffro said...

Congrats! That'll put a spring in your step! Glad it all worked out so well!