Saturday, October 30, 2010

I Tried To Warn Y'all

That's right, the Army Men are at it again. You just never know when they'll break out and start something. Since it's their nature, one must be prepared. I thought this time I'd let 'em go for a while and see what happened.

Let's meet the playas:


From left to right:

First is the gung ho leader. "C'mon," he says, exhorting his troops to battle. Let's hope he has some sort of communications device as well.

Second is the "I'm here cuz I gotta be - got my rifle, but I'd rather have some coffee and some warm food" guy. Can't blame him.

Third is the "I think I saw something and I'm getting ready to shoot at it" guy. Was a Boy Scout as a teenager - always prepared.

Fourth is the "I'm lining up a shot right now" guy - he's gonna snap off a shot for sure.

Fifth is the "I'm lining up a shot right now, too, but this is a more stable shooting platform. I like to hit what I'm aiming at" guy. He grew up hunting, and if he could go prone he'd be on the ground.

Sixth is the "I've got a bazooka and someone is gonna get it" guy. Very important man to have on your squad.


The field of honor - we can see all the combatants and their initial strategies.


Of course these are Our Good Green American Guys - flying the flag and ever so proud, arrayed like they're playing electric football or something. They are ready to take on all comers and defend our way of life. Our heros.


Well, I think we all know who these guys are. They are letting their ideology cloud their strategy, I think. Of course, they are Nazis. WWII Nazis. Bad Nazis should know they lost once already, but Army Men Nazis never learn.

Of course, we've seen the armies at rest, apparently awaiting the outcome of peace talks. Maybe they'll just pack their stuff and go home.


Check out the rocket launcher in the Nazi utility vehicle.


Oh my, sneak attack! The bastards! Well, that did it. This means war.


Oh man, the tanks cut loose. Things could go either way, our jeeps only have spotlights and not rockets like the Nazis had. This could get ugly.

But wait, spotlights? And even though the two point leader guys got rubbed out, there were others in the formation. One of them has called in air support.


What? Just because the Nazis are WWII vintage doesn't mean Our American Good Guys in Green can't avail themselves with modern technology! Au contraire mon frere! Lessee how those dastardly Nazis like a little State of the Art American stealth high tech knowledge right up their tailpipes! Hah! Bet those Nazis didn't see that one coming! Nuttin' like a little F117 smackdown to ruin their day!


Well, its a sad time for Our Green Guys - they lost some valuable and well loved members of their unit today thanks to the perfidy of those nasty ol' fascists, who all perished in agonizing pain. Justice was served, after all. So, hoist one for Our Guys when you get the chance - they just saved us all again.

Oh, and I need to mention: the idea of blogging about Army Men was inspired by Laura and her dinosaurs. Cuz dinosaurs are awesome.

4 comments:

Lisa Paul said...

Ha! WWII refought as it should have been. With modern aircraft. I love the Army men!

Jeffro said...

Thanks, Lisa!

You just never know when they'll break out and cause some mischief, or have to defend the American Way.

Laura said...

THAT was totally fucking awesome! From now on you need to give me a haeds up when you do something crazy like this so I can rush over!

Jeffro said...

How could I not? Heh!