Thursday, October 23, 2008

Bill of Lefts


1. Thou shall be secure in the faith that government will take care of you. Everything is free as long as you don't work for it. So you are best off not working at all or as little as possible.

2. Government shall never take away anything it gives you. However, it may take away anything you earn on your own.

3. There shall be plenty of mandates on the other guy. You are safe as long as you choose do as little as possible -- then government will not ask you to do anything in return. Whatever you do, don't ever think about employing someone.

4. Bubbas who hang out together can get most anything they want as long as they promise to vote for left wing Democrats.

5. Government can always raise taxes on the rich because success is just not fair no matter what the tax rate.

6. Deficits are a part of life, but that is only a problem for those with money. If the government gives you a credit card for health care or anything, use it as much as you want. The more you use it, the more free things you can expect to get with it in the future.

7. The the PRESSident is protected by the freedom of the press. It reinterprets and ignores the Constitution to meet any desired PRESSidential goal or specification. The PRESSident is defined as the collective will of the liberal PRESSSSSS.

8. The PRESSident only report the views that the PRESSident feels are useful propaganda for their intended audience. Conflicting reports are fine as long as the conclusion by promises new programs.

9. Most laws are best written by judges and regulatory agencies, so it is best to make any legislation as vague and contradictory as possible.

10. All rights reserved to the States and individuals are subject to the previous rule.

11. When your position can't be substantiated by logic or facts, divert the issue to another topic that defames or attacks your opposition's credibility. It is good if there is little justification to do so, and even better if your spin is full of falsehoods and logical gaps. If you are guilty of something, defend yourself by saying your opponent is guilty of the same crime, even if it there is no truth in the accusation.

12. Unquestioning faith in Big Government shall be a promoted and protected right. The goal is for non-secular faith, its welfare programs and worship of liberal politicians to eventually replace religion. Conservatives who have little faith in big government secularism shall be persecuted and scorned as radical right wing extremist unbelievers of the worse kind.

13. The goal of feel good government programs isn't to fix problems. The primary intention of government programs is to create more opportunites for new feel good programs to fix the problems other feel good programs create.

14. Political Bigotry is promoted so long as it expresses all sorts of ridiculous bias against Conservatives. The more ridiculous the political bigotry, the better.

Best be for printing this for future reference. When Hope and Change© start running the country, this could be the new paradigm.

1 comment:

Earl said...

Oh, I like the work and thought gone into this. But I expect I will continue to ignore Washington DC, save for the filing of the tax return annually. Sigh.