Friday, September 26, 2008

Doin' the Rahht Thang

Ain't always easy. We all know that - if you are even aware of morals at all, you know you have to make decisions that influence the future of your life at every crossroads, major or minor. It's common enough - we've all heard about how the correct path may not be the easy one, or life is full of hard choices, the high road is the road less taken and so on.

I had all this driven home to me today, and it was an innocuous enough situation. One of my coworkers called me while I was at Wally World in Dodge City. When he found out where I was, he asked if I'd do a favor for him. He wanted me to go to the Alltel store - just down the road - and put five bucks on his pay as you go phone. I didn't know he had one. It turns out it is for phone calls he doesn't want his wife to find he's made.

They have a tumultuous relationship - she doesn't trust him, and he apparently gives her enough ammunition for her not to trust him. However, when it comes to family decisions (she has children from previous relationships), she won't listen to him, and the situations only go downhill. He is for discipline, and she wants to be the kid's friend. Plus, the ex hubbies get involved, and all they seem to be interested in is scoring points rather than the welfare of their offspring. So, later on, he gets yelled at for saying "I told you so" when he, in fact, did. I've even heard him refrain from using that loaded sentence.

I wouldn't be married to this woman, period. Were I treated like that, it would be over tuit suite, I can guarantee you. But, I would behave myself as well. All this is neither here nor there.

Usually the phone store is pretty crowded, and the lines are long. He claimed there is a kiosk that you can enter in the info. I told him he could do it online. He can't have a debit record of it. So, I said I'd do it.

But I got to thinking about it. I, by doing this one small thing, was basically condoning what he was doing behind his wife's back. Maybe she is a bitch and deserves it. Maybe he is just a cool misunderstood guy that just needed a small favor. I couldn't justify it in my mind. I've been in those situations in the past, and they can turn ugly. I'd just rather not insert myself into a troubled relationship even in the smallest degree. Were I paying their electric bill to keep them from getting shut off - that would be far different (if more expensive!!).

I called him back and said I wasn't going to do it, and why. He was not a happy camper, but I don't think he was totally PO'd about it. It didn't matter - I have standards that I will try my hardest to adhere to.


Anonymous said...

Good for you!

He might have been more angry about the possible inconvenience of losing the ability to use his phone more than anything else.

You definitely made the right decision. A tough one, but the right one.

Earl said...

Hope it works out for him, and he sees that leaving himself open by fooling around is just a disaster waiting for the nudge over the edge.

Your change of heart and the call to him about it are the marks of a concerned friend. Take care.