Saturday, January 14, 2012

Anybody Remember This?

From Ace's Overnight Open Thread: (from Wikipedia)
On April 7, 1994, FedEx Flight 705, a McDonnell Douglas DC-10-30 cargo jet ferrying electronics across the United States from Memphis, Tennessee to San Jose, California, experienced an attempted hijacking for the purpose of a suicide attack.
Auburn Calloway, a FedEx employee facing possible dismissal for lying about his previous flying experience, boarded the scheduled flight as adeadheading passenger with a guitar case carrying several hammers and a speargun. He intended to disable the aircraft's cockpit voice recorderbefore take-off and, once airborne, kill the crew using the blunt force of the hammers so their injuries would appear consistent with an accident rather than a hijacking. The speargun would be a last resort. He would then crash the aircraft while just appearing to be an employee killed in an accident. This would make his family eligible for a $2.5 million life insurance policy paid by Federal Express.[1]
Calloway's plan was unsuccessful. Despite severe injury, the crew was able to fight back, subdue Calloway and safely land the aircraft. An attempt at a mental health defense was unsuccessful and Calloway was subsequently convicted of multiple charges including attempted murder, attempted air piracy and interference with flight crew operations. He received two consecutive life sentences. Calloway's appeal was successful in having his conviction for interference ruled as a lesser included offense of attempted air piracy.[2] The crew was left with permanent, disabling injuries and have not flown professionally since.

There is more detail at Wikipedia, but for a better story, go to Damned Interesting.

I don't even remember this.

No Reason



Just because I can.

Friday, January 13, 2012

Oops....


I wonder if there is some sort of punishment for exceeding one's fifteen minutes of fame?

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Boom Time


I unload a lot of tanks at oilfield supply yards - and today was no different. I'd already unloaded the two right and one left tanks, and was waiting for a compadre to back his trailer with three more beside that outrigger. I've got two sets of hydraulic cylinders for lifting - the twins are far weaker than the single ram. Part of that is due to simple torque - if I let the twins down a lot, the range of the boom fully extended is increased. However, when something relatively heavy comes along, it's best to use the most lifting power available. Thus, the twin rams are extended fully, and I'll do all my lifting with the single.

When I handle fiberglass tanks, I can lock in the single ram and use the twin rams for the lifting, and gain the extra length by having a section extended horizontally rather than vertical. Just about every fiberglass tank I've ever unloaded was light enough that this knuckle boom crane can handle 'em at full extension.

This crane has another two extensions retracted within the second extension in this picture. Those 12'x15' 300bbl steel tanks exceed the lifting capacity of the unit at three extensions. Once I start getting past the third, it's over, and I've got to use some tricks to "get it back" and lifted. Rode in that particular rodeo before. Heh.

Some of our heavier cranes have six extensions, and they can lift 12'x20 400bbl steel tanks run all the way out. They have to be careful, though, because the geometry can assure that a truck can tip over. I've had the front end of my truck off the ground several feet before. That will make ya nervous.

At any rate, I'm always showing pics of our other trucks doing what I was doing, or a big crane or other heavy equipment. Just lettin' ya know I do it, too.

Monday, January 09, 2012

Sheesh. Ted Goes Off His Nut Again

Well, whaddya know - ol' Mitt is Mormon! Who knew? Why, I remember well when Ted Rall posted a political  cartoon lampooning Obama eating watermelon and fried chicken while smoking a big ol' doob. Oh, wait.....

Since Mitt is ostensibly a Republican (not really one I'd claim, but there you go), this really and truly isn't bigotry at all. If you have to have that explained further, yer a racist bastard, you scum.

Sunday, January 08, 2012

Dagwood Approved!


I carry a thermoelectric cooler in the ol' mobile office. I hate to stop for something to eat when daylight is at such a premium for us, and I pretty well have to eat breakfast or lunch with some meds. So, I carry sandwiches I make on Sunday and freeze, as well as something to drink. I used to carry Diet Pepsi, but the sodium was making me retain more water than the diuretics could handle. So, it's Propel and sammiches for the Tubby Trucker.

I prefer onion ciabatta rolls, but these plain ones work ok, too. I got them from the bakery clearance rack and tossed 'em into the deep freeze. Wal Mart carries these things - but not in every store. They also have a multi grain coated version, too. All have a chewy consistency that I like. I suppose if they stop carrying the ciabatta rolls, I could use Kaiser rolls. They just don't have the thicker consistency.

Wal Mart is where I get all my ingredients for these puppies. Mustard is their Southwest Spicy version, liberally applied. Then, I alternate deli sliced roast beef, pepperjack cheese, roast turkey, sharp cheddar cheese, and beef Pastrami. I buy two pounds of each at a time and freeze what I don't use. A better ratio would be a two to one meat to cheese - it just takes longer to use the cheese up. The things just about don't fit into a Ziplock sandwich bag.

I usually carry more than I'll need for lunches, just on the off chance that I might have to eat one for supper, plus if the end of the week finds me on a job site in Nowhere, ND, c/o The Bakken Oilfield, with more sammiches than I can eat - well, if my compadres are hungry and didn't bring anything for themselves, the excess is excessed from inventory. A lot of Friday nights when I get home for the weekend, a leftover sammich with a bowl of tomato soup rather hits the spot. Or chicken noodle.

I really like the onion rolls the best - that flavor, the spicy mustard, and the pepperjack give 'em some zing. More zing than without the onions in the bread. Plus, reviews from the coworkers have been overwhelmingly positive, with Dagwood's name bandied about.

So, if you're a regular sammich eater, too, and are totally bored with white, wheat,  or whatever bread, give the ciabatta rolls a try. Good stuff!

Ensign Ro, One Fetching Bajoran, Fer Sure!


Today is Michelle Forbes' birthday - born in 1965. She's been in a lot of geeky stuff over the years, and hasn't disappointed, either. From ST: TNG to Escape from LA, she had some memorable roles.


And of course she was in Battlestar Galactica, as Admiral Helena Cain.


And here she is in True Blood, which I have not seen. Clearly, I think she's pretty hawt, and I kinda doubt I'm alone in this assessment.

Saturday, January 07, 2012

Green Industrial Strength Sludge



Yep, that's radioactive steam coming off the stuff, and there is an unidentified creature bone off to the left. Along with the eyeballs of newt, bat wings and such I used:

20 oz package of split peas (I think that was the weight)
The ham left on the bone from a spiral cut ham given to all us workers every Christmas by my company, trimmed off the bone, plus added the bone, too. Flavor, man, it's all about flavor.
About one and a half green bell peppers, diced very fine (in fact, all ingredients were diced fine so they'd cook away to nothing in the goop)
About a half of a yellow onion (had it on hand, and didn't feel like cutting into a new one)
Handful of sliced jalapenos from a jar
Three small potatoes, diced - didn't bother peeling (more for the thickening starch than anything)
About a half package of sliced carrot chips (generally buy baby carrots and chop them but thought this might be easier)
The packet of fake ham seasoning from the bag of peas - I wasn't gonna use it, but I don't add any more salt than I have to for my meals, and it needed something while testing it out as it cooked
Some black pepper, cilantro, basil, and garlic powder (real garlic dries out before I get around to using it). I just sprinkled each on top until it looked right.
And, as I mentioned, all that stuff with no salt was tasting pretty bland, so I cheated and added some granulated chicken bouillon. I had to add it a couple of times, because I didn't want to go overboard. I can't stand salty stuff (so used to not having it, the taste really stands out for me). I got it right.

I soaked the beans in water overnight - making sure there was water completely covering the beans completely with a little left over. Ended up adding more water as I added ingredients - and I thought perhaps I had put in too much as it was pretty thin cooking. Not to worry, the taters finally broke up and thickened things up considerably. I didn't cover all the ingredients with water when I first started - the water level was below all the stuff slightly.  I started the pot on low medium  (4 out of 9 on my electric burner), and gradually turned it down to about 1.5 as the day progressed. Started at noon and shut it off around fiveish.

This stuff has to be stirred fairly frequently. The peas all sludge up at the bottom if you don't. I never had a problem with them burning, just being super thick at the bottom.

It turned out pretty well, my main problem is that now I'll be eating split pea soup for the next nine hundred twenty seven meals. Perhaps not that many. I'd invite Linda Blair over to get her opinion, but I hear she's a vegan. Her loss, I say.

Friday, January 06, 2012

A California Love Story



A man was lying in bed with his new girlfriend.

After having great sex ... She spent the next hour just rubbing his testicles ... Something she just loved to do.

As he was enjoying it, he turned and asked her, "Why do you love doing that?"




Wednesday, January 04, 2012

Overdrawn

Boeing announced today that it is leaving Wichita, where it's presence for over eighty years gave Wichita the moniker of "Air Capital."

This, after having their nads saved after some heavy political wrangling.

Let's go back to when Airbus was awarded the contract for the new KC-X Air Force tanker aircraft to replace the aging KC-135 fleet. Boeing protested the contract, and with a ton of political maneuvering, was finally awarded the contract. It didn't hurt that Kansas Senators Sam Brownback and Pat Roberts (who was on the Senate Committee on Armed Services at the time) put their political muscle on the line. Wichita and Sedgwick County have certainly worked with Boeing as far as tax incentives go, too.

There was a lot of political capital spent to get Boeing the contract, with stipulations that they would keep the jobs local. Clearly, the local officials feel screwed over.

Boeing probably best not appear hat in hand begging to be saved from the evils of the world any time real soon with any of the political principals involved. Just sayin.'

Tuesday, January 03, 2012

Seeing Things


Guess what - long distance shots with my cell phone camera suck. While westbound on I70 this morning, some mirages were visible. Often, if you look across a valley, the mirages will rise above the horizon, showing elevators on past the valley itself. Grain elevators miles and miles away seem outsized and float above the ground. By the time I got the cell phone out, it was disappearing fast.


Click for larger for sure - to the left, what looks like a hill is actually the mirage, and as you go right, you can see blue sky between the top of the mirage and the horizon. Headed towards the Rockies, you can see the mountains rising far above the natural horizon, but out here, there just aren't any features as tall as it looks.

Monday, January 02, 2012

Stealing a Meme

When one is looking for inspiration for posts, sometimes fellow bloggers make is pretty easy by starting a meme. This meme is from leeann at Look! A Baby Wolf! - so naturally I'm jumping right into something easily accomplished in a probable futile effort to be funny.
Take the first sentence from the first post of each month of 2011. That’s your year in review. Tattle on yourself with your link in the comments if you give it a shot, particularly if yours works out better.
January: It's pretty easy - I've found that resolving to do things like lose weight seem to be a losing proposition for me.

February: Sigh.

March: Some of our guys spent some time detailing Mike's truck so it could sit at the church today for his service.

April: Yep, it's all lollipops and unicorns!

May: Now I know.

June: I've got Scott Adam's Blog in my reader - and while he is of a decidedly liberal bent, as a businessman he certainly has some very provocative things to say:

July: Last night's Subway Jalapeno 250 winner was Joey Logano, while Danica Patrick earned tenth place, six places worse than her best Nationwide finish so far.

August: Believe me when I tell you there has been no danger of the gauge overflowing, unless the wind is right and it fills with dirt.

September: Ronaldus Maximus.

October: The Family can only afford one helmet and they put it on Jeffy?

November: Normally, Ted Rall and I are polar opposites on whatever issue he covers.

December: Clearly I live in a mentally unbalanced area.

Pretty mundane compared to leeann's enticing opening lines. She's warped, though. In a "damn, I'd like to drink a bunch of beers with her someday" kind of way.

Made Up My Mind




About who I'm supporting in the Republican Presidential Primaries. Unfortunately, Mitt will probably prevail. He really is the second coming of Flipper. He claims to be more or less against the health bill, but since it's modeled after the one he helped put in place in Massachusetts, believing him seems very self destructive. Plus, I'm tending to believe his actions towards the issue of gun control rather than what he says now. The rest of the candidates? Flashes in the pan suffering from hoof in mouth disease. Honestly, I'm not sure how a candidate can overcome the liberal bent of the press, but they'd be advised to do better than the current bunch. I'm not sure how much hubris they have collectively, because it certainly seems to be that they think more highly of themselves than the rest of us.

I'd vote for Scott Adams, who has announced his candidacy on his blog (yeah, I know it's satire). A lot of what he says makes sense, but I cannot countenance his idea of using former President Bill Clinton as his primary advisor. I'd listen to him on the subject of picking up chubby chicks at titty bars, but not much else. I do know what my definition of is is. Just. Don't. Trust. Him.

That really doesn't leave much choice - I have voted for Alfred E. Neuman for various posts in the past, but he's not revealing much about what he supports or doesn't. So that leaves one candidate in the clear:

Kevin, the Lost Bunny of the Apocalypse, the Senator from Prickly City. His openness in supporting mayhem and destruction, plus selling his soul to the devil seems refreshing to me considering his spineless competition. Try to convince me Newt wouldn't sell his soul, if the devil would have it. Or any of the other candidates, for that matter. Kevin hates everyone, so charges of antisemitism, racism and bigotry will slide right off. His only flaw so far is that it was discovered that he actually does love his wife, and is faithful to her, when he was denying it all along. I can live with that.

Since voting against the Republican stream in Kansas is a waste of a vote, and then actually having any influence being from Kansas in the first place compared to the East and Left Coasts, I might as well sleep well at night for voting the way I did, knowing I didn't have to sell out once again voting for the lesser of two evils.

Saturday, December 31, 2011

Shhhhhh. Don't Tell Anyone!


On this, a New Year's Eve, after some ruminations about my lack of funds for living life in the manner to which I'd certainly love to become accustomed, I have decided to start a business venture. I'm telling y'all this now so perhaps I could include all my pals in the ensuing gravy train. Yes, our ship will come in, I'm sure. So far, my plan requires us to sacrifice some of our moral character, though. Your mileage may vary.

Well, Jeffro, what in the wild wild world of sports are you talkin' bout, dude?

It seems to me the quickest way to unlimited riches is to have government funding! Any old pie in the sky project works as long as you can convince someone in charge that the good you are doing is absolutely necessary to the survival of the world as we know it, or just the Democrat party (applies to the Stupid Party when they're in charge). Sex lives of minnows? We gotta know. However, that area of study doesn't seem to hold much monetary promise - just a few execs, several hundred grand on facilities, and some bucks for a janitor. That kind of thinking is far too small - we need something much larger and more suited to an administration looking hard for any sort of technological advances in green, renewable energy. The Big O is tossing money around like it's free (wait, it isn't? Who knew?) at renewable energy companies chasing highly suspect technology. After all, if you throw cubic dollars at it, surely someone, yeah, someone, will be able to break the code and give us some energy for nothing, Meanwhile, Teh Won is doing his part by demonizing contemporary energy sources and making them so expensive that the alternatives become more economically feasible and competitive, even if they fall short (rare earth production ecological damages in China, for instance, or having your brand spankin' new windmills calm on a hot day and no one has any power, much less A/C).

So the political climate is ripe for exploitation by like minded individuals. Like us. If we can get past a few moral obstacles.

Before we get into that, we have to decide what sort of company and the kind of technology we'll pursue. I think it would be totally appropriate (since this is basically a scam) to work on improving wind powered personal transportation devices (what we'll call 'em in public - but they'll just be cars with windmills on 'em). The liberal mindset seems to believe that feeding the hungry maw of innovation requires lots and lots of government bucks chasing every avenue, no matter the likelihood of success, so what would be better than a basically impossible tech exercise - a Perpetual Motion Machine in the form of a windmill powered car? We could spend billions attempting to make the perfect frictionless driveline, the perfect no loss power conversion from the windmill to the wheels, the perfect coefficient of drag body - the avenues for improvement of the technology is endless. Plus, initially (so we'd say, because the damn thing won't run without it), we'd have to have an alternative energy source to help propel the thing prototype. We're gonna have to carry some sort of battery, so we're screwing Gaea over right there already, but I think we can do better. We can take a page from the hybrid car model and use an internal combustion engine for the times when the wind isn't blowing and the battery is dead, or even if the wind is blowing the wrong way.

But we won't use evil petroleum derived energy for our internal combustion engine. No sir, we're gonna have to increase the satirical level of this scam business, so I recommend we consider distilled crushed baby seal heads. Now I have to admit, this is one of the moral dilemmas I've got with this scheme plan. Not sure I wanna kill baby seals, but I guarantee ya, the liberal press would never notice what we were using for alternative green power, just as long as it's alternative and green. We, of course, would have some sort of bullshit tech explanation for using that kind of fuel, how clean it was for the environment, plus how we'd cut that shit right out when we got the rest of the tech hurdles hurdled. It would be worth it, because one of our stated goals would be for the Personal Transportation Devices would be not only energy independence, but production as well. That's right, they'd crank out the kilowatts just sitting there, getting far more energy out than what could possibly be put in by a windmill. Once we had all that perfected, see, we wouldn't need the super clean IC crushed seal skull motors. So it would be totally worth it, dude. See what I did there?

So, this proposal would be an In Your Face, You Stoopid Idjuts scam, er - business proposal.

But wait, Jeffro, you say. You said there were a couple of moral problems, right? We're just seeing the seal pup head thing - where's the beef, Dude?

Well, unfortunately, the success of these scams business proposals utterly depends on political donations to the Democrat Party and it's members, most notably our President. Just ask Jeffrey Immelt. He's donated literal hours of printing press runs to Der Bingle and his pals, and GE is now one of the biggest recipients of government "green" largess. So part of our deal with the devil is going to include giving up some of the sweet .gov money to the current crooks in power.

So, there's that to deal with.

But, like they say in the late nite commercials - Act Now! This offer is due to expire without notice! Mail before midnight tonite!

The elections are coming soon. This scheme would work under Republican control, but we wouldn't have the extra added bonus of being completely shielded by the easily deluded press or the accolades of the green movement. Once the Stupid Party is involved, we'd have their taint and the greenies would automatically hate us, and might want to look at what's been swept under the carpeting, as it were. The press, always on the lookout for an Elephantine scandal, would be all over us in short order.

No, the time to strike is now, if we have the stomach for it. As always, suggestions are welcome and encouraged!

Friday, December 30, 2011

The Care and Feeding of Blue Flame Heaters

I think I mentioned coming home to a cold house the other day because my heater had failed to keep running. Frankly, it was due to my extreme laziness and perpetual avoidance of preparedness. If it ain't broke, don't fix it, dammit. Well, that's just foolish if you rely on a thing for a very important service, like, for instance, keeping YOUR WHOLE HOUSE WARM WHEN IT'S BELOW FREEZING OUTSIDE. Just a thought.

Ventless blue flame heaters are a very cost effective and fairly economical way to keep a room warm. However, it should be noted that they are not vented and in some locales, installation in a house without some sort of venting capacity is illegal. Don't rely on my advice whether to get one or not if it's illegal for you to use one. Just sayin'. Plus, I'm not taking any responsibilities for any actions any of you might take after reading this article. Remember, this is an explosive gas we're working with, and if something breaks or fails, it ain't my fault.

At any rate, they work great when everything is up to snuff, not so great if something is out of whack. Since purchasing this unit, I've had several HVAC types tell me the radiant heat varieties are better because they aren't so picky or service oriented. I really don't know, and further more, I'm gonna run this one until it craps out and buy something new. Parts are available, but not locally, so if it quits, I'm gonna want something in it's place tout suite. I might consider a radiant heater at that time.

What makes the blue flame so picky is that there has to be air introduced into the propane stream in both the burner and the pilot in order for it to function properly. End of story. Ok, Jeffro, you say, what does that mean?



If you've hooked your unit up with a standard yellow gas flex hose, there probably is enough slack to turn the thing over and look underneath (keep in mind that the line has only so many flexes in it's life). Otherwise, you'll have to crawl under it and look up. You'll see the pilot assembly roughly in the center, and it will look something like this picture above. My pilot air inlet is round and considerably smaller, and there is a wire mesh in the very end of the pilot assembly, where the flame runs. If you are like me and have a cat, plus are an indifferent housekeeper, all this is going to have cat hair and cobwebs interfering with the air flow into the assembly. This will shut off the unit and the pilot light. If you come home and your pilot light is out, you can get it relit, and after a while get the burner to going, and then seconds later - click - the whole thing shuts down, well, a dirty pilot assembly is probably the culprit. If the air is obstructed in any way, the pilot light doesn't burn at the proper temperature, nor is it as long as normal. It looks weak.

All you have to do is use a can of compressed or "computer" air, and be sure to get the straw for extending the nozzle. Spray around the end and in the air inlet for sure. I even took the gas line off and blew in from that end to make sure the mesh end gets cleaned out.

When this happened, I did not have any full cans of air. All I had was some carb cleaner. While that is an excellent solvent, it does nothing to cat hairs or cobwebs, and may even make things worse by matting them to block the air. Just use air, and if you have an air compressor with a long hose, so much the better, just be aware that oily air isn't going to help, and lots of air pressure could damage delicate parts. Air from a can is at about the right pressure, and it takes very little.


Okay, next up is the burner chamber - the blue flames dance over the slits in the tube. If your flames start getting longer and have yellow tips, you'll also probably notice that your stove is cranking out some soot. Not good. You may even hear a "guttering" noise, look over and see yellow flames with the inlet on fire with a yellow flame. This is a very big clue that it needs cleaning as well. To get it to stop, I just shut the gas down, and wait for the flame on the intake to go out, then fire it up again. Temp fix only, though.

Part number eight is the tube burner. You may notice the one end is wide open, except for a smaller inner flange - sort of like a lid with a hole in it. The mounting brackets space the nozzle (part 17) away from the burner, being locked into place by a mounting nut (part 28). The gas line (part 14) feeds the nozzle.

In order to get the clean burn, the propane must be premixed with atmospheric air, so that is why there is a spacing between the nozzle and the burner, and why the burner has a flange, etc. This area is also extremely vulnerable to cobwebs and cat hair, and the nozzle can get coated with carbon from that stuff burning onto it. At any rate, using the canned air cleans that crap out of there fairly well with the straw bent in a manner to reach some of the hidden areas. The tendency of the 'puter air can to blow wet actually helps here - it's enough of a solvent to help clean off the carbon.

I'm sure at some point, I'm gonna have to pull the burner unit out and really go to town on it to clean it up. I have done that before, taking it out to my air compressor. There is a carbon buildup around the gas slits, and it sure seemed that the inside would load up. That is a project more suited to warmer times, as your stove won't be running while you go after the carbon with some more serious solvents. It's gonna have to dry completely before reinstallation and burning gas with the remains of solvents still within.

So, pay attention to what your stove is telling you and you'll be fine. If none of these things work, then your stove has problems beyond what I know, and you will either be replacing the stove or certain parts that I do not posses the knowledge to diagnose the particulars. This advice is offered with the understanding that I'm not responsible for any of your actions, because I'm not there to control the outcome. I accept no liability for any actions any of you might take. If you have doubts, call a service person.

New Years Resolutions


Once again, it's time for thinking of New Years Resolutions. We always go back over our faults and pick out the most egregious societal violations that should we manage to improve, well, life would be nothing but rainbows, lollipops and unicorns.

Yeah, right.

I'm here to tell ya, I'm sick and tired of trying to change to suit the world. The world never acknowledges my efforts nor my successes in the areas of self improvement. Nor does it comfort me when I fall short of my goals. The world surely seems to be quite unable to give a rat's ass what I think, say or do in that regard.

With this in mind, I'm announcing that from now on, there will be no more New Years Resolutions coming from this fat boy. Nope, I'm not conforming to suit a bunch of rude sunsabitches that have no common courtesy. Screw 'em all, I'm sick of it.

Nope, the world is gonna have to change to accommodate me, by God. I'm too tubby for ya? Well, screw you. Too crabby? Up yours. Too poor? Eat me. My anti-social behavior getting under your skin? Good. Shows me I'm on the right track.

Y'all can take your Hallmark Moments Resolutions and put 'em where the sun don't shine. Not gonna play no more.

Needs Something


Great idea, but I'd add clowns to the list. Damn clowns bring down property values each and every time, I tell ya.

Thursday, December 29, 2011

The Strange Disappearance

Earnest wasn't sure anymore if he had lost his mind.

It all started a couple of years ago when he first noticed the sparkly lights. He was driving home in the frigid embrace of new fallen snow when the specks appeared in his peripheral vision. They almost seemed like fireflies to Earnest, but it was just too cold for them. He told himself it was just reflected glints of light off the crystalline snow, and his tired eyes just added the motion. However, that did not explain the distant humming he heard.

They started appearing in broad daylight, floating around his head to torment him like buzzing mosquitoes. Often one might see Earnest swatting at his visions to no avail.

Of course, the finest specialists were consulted and the latest tests were administered. CAT scans, MRIs, extensive blood work, allergists, opthamologists and endocrinologists were all called upon to diagnose Earnest's problem, and failed. No sign of brain tumors, no chemical imbalance, no nutritional deficiencies, no vision problems, nada, zip. Even an extended stay at Rochester found nothing.

And yet the lights continued and in fact increased.

Earnest could see the sidelong glances directed at him. He could just catch the whispers - crazy as a bed bug, wasting our time, belongs in a nuthouse.

He used to joke about the long sleeved white canvas shirt that tied behind his back, but lately he wasn't so sure. Could he be going nuts? The buzzing got louder all the time, the swarms of lights more intense, more frequent and more dense.

He could see the toll in the mirror. The face that he'd seen thousands of times shaving was now lined and drawn, the stubble now turning gray from a dark brown. The dark bags under his eyes belied the lack of sleep. His temples were becoming "distinguished."

What could it mean? Why him? No one answered Earnest in the still of the night. Isolated and alone, he faced the ordeal as a single entity. Thoughts of suicide even entered Earnest's thoughts. Perhaps the classic "swallowing the pistol" would silence the swarms. Or driving into a wall at high speed - he didn't want to hurt anyone by crashing head on into traffic - just to quiet the torment.

Suddenly, the swarms were back, and more intense than ever. Swirling about his head, extending for yards, the buzzing so loud Earnest thought he would scream and never stop - *Pop*!

Leaving an acrid, burned wire insulation wisp of an odor behind, Earnest disappeared from this plane of existence, never to be seen again.

Julie was driving her husband home after the hockey game. "Look at the pretty lights, honey!"

"Uh, what lights? I don't see any lights?!?!"

I've Been Fortunate

Jess at Scratching to Escape has a thought provoking post up today about horrific highway accidents to remind us to be careful on the roads today.

In all my years over the road and all the miles I've seen, I have to say that fortune has preceded me. Never have run up on a bad accident. Yeah, I've gone through the temporary one lane road and seen the carnage written in glass and steel, and what none of us want to see covered with blue plastic tarps. Never have I encountered one of these scenes fresh after it happened.

Which bothers me not.

Of course, I've heard stories. One in particular haunts me to this day, just because I can see it in my mind's eye.

One of my trucking buddies had just started as an owner operator hauling grain, and was following his lease owner (the original "Tubby Trucker") on their way to get another load west of Jetmore, KS on K156 highway. They were behind a cow hauler - all three easing along eastbound. There is a bad intersection where if one pulls up to the stop sign, one cannot really see what is coming from the west. If you stay back a ways, there is a rise where the traffic can be seen, but once yer in the hole, forget it.

An elderly school bus driver found himself in that hole, and pulled out directly in front of the cow hauler. With a load of children. Of course, there were questions about his ability to drive and why he was allowed to drive a bus in the first place, but all that was just arguments after the fact. The cabover truck t-boned the bus and split it open.

My two fellow drivers were unable to shut down, and had to drive through the mess.

My buddy "Rhubarb" is a man of few words. All he said was: "Jeff, I had to try to dodge pieces of kids. I'll never be able to forget that."

Well, my friend, neither have I.

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Stubborn


Did I ever mention that my father was stubborn? And perhaps I might, just might have inherited that characteristic from him?

Dad was a farmer/stockman. Often, they will become enamored of one brand of truck, tractor or whatever beyond logic. Some will only buy Fords, some a certain brand of fencing, or a certain brand of tractors.

Dad was a J.I.Case man, through and through. The above picture is of a Case 930 Comfort King. Comfortable? It was as comfortable as about any other vehicle with no suspension other than a swinging front axle, riding over rough ground. It was a Case, which meant the engine and transaxle were joined together to form the tractor - there was no frame what so ever. This particular model was a naturally aspirated motor - so it did not have a turbo. The transmission was all manual - it was pre Power Shift all the way. It cranked out about 80hp out of 400 cubic inches. It was a 1967 model.


Our next tractor was a 1974 Case 1070. I loved that tractor. The space age styling, the solid cab (for it's day) with the decent air conditioner and wonder of wonders - the cab was quiet enough to actually hear a radio! Whoooweee! Livin' large now! It sported a 450 cubic inch naturally aspirated motor and the tranny was a four speed with a three speed power shift. Pretty kewl.

Case tended to use large cubic inch motors for their power - the idea being that superior torque would carry the day. They had a reputation for being fairly fuel efficient as well. Another of their characteristics was a coarse cored radiator - the fins were spread fairly far apart. One could hose out the radiator core to clean the dirt and debris out.

But, no matter the brand, you've got to have dealer support. Meaning, your dealer had better keep a good selection of commonly needed parts for your heap, or you will be parked when you need to be running. This dealer had also better be willing to actually work on the things and stand behind them, or you will be paying a lot of mileage to a distant dealer to do the same work the local one fails at.

Dad's local Case dealer basically deserted his market - he decided the small farmer was not the way to go, and just wanted to service the big ones. It was very clear after several years.


When the extremely painful but obvious truth that Dad just wasn't going to get any service from that dealer, he finally bit the bullet and bought a John Deere. They do happen to have the largest and best equipped dealer network for farm equipment extant, now as then. So, he bought a 1977 4430 - four speed with a powershift tranny. This tractor was rated considerably higher than either of the old Cases - close to 110 hp.

Dad's collection of implements were definitely dated, too. He really needed to upgrade to larger stuff with the increasingly more powerful tractors, but he never did. So, we ended up with some too small implements for the tractor we had.

Plus, this JD was different. Horsepower was obtained by fuel and turbocharging - this tractor's block was about the same size as the old 930 - right at 400 cubes. This meant the cooling system had to be more efficient. Which also meant that the radiator had a much finer core, with more fins and tubes closely spaced together. Dad was used to hosing out his radiators, but he was told repeatedly that was not a good idea on a John Deere by plenty of people. One of my neighbors brings his tractor home every evening, and blows out the radiator, all over the tractor, and the cab with A/C filters. He also waxes 'em, so his prep could be considered a bit excessive.

Farm implements are designed to run at certain speeds - generally in the four to five and a half mph range. Disks are especially picky - too fast and they'll ride right out of the ground, and toss the dirt unevenly. Dad's old Cases had their sweet spot in a certain gear wide open. He used to tell me "Pull 'er ears back and get to work" - meaning to pull the steering column mounted throttle on the old 930 to the rear, wide open in fourth gear. It needed to be wide open to run fast enough and to pull the load. The 1070 would run in second gear in the second hole of the three speed powershift - the first hole was useful for when it pulled down, and the third was just too fast, and it wouldn't pull the load most of the time anyways.

However, in a tractor with a bit more power, the way to save fuel is to run it in a higher gear throttled back. When the load increases, the fuel pumps will try to maintain that rpm by increasing the fuel, and with a turbo, the pressure increases and away you go. This helps the tractor run cooler and with less strain on the components as a side benefit. With a very flexible powershift tranny - if it pulls too hard, just drop a gear and crank 'er open for a while.

But not Dad. His radiators had always been cleaned with a garden hose, and his tractors were supposed to be run wide open in a particular gear. End of story. He hated that Deere before he got it - it wasn't a Case.

Oh yeah. That Deere wasn't the tractor that ol' 1070 was. Ran hot all day, drank fuel like crazy, too much glass in the cab, not enough leg room, hard to enter and exit - you name it, there was something wrong. Granted, I agreed with him on the lack of legroom, but I think I've still got dented knee caps from the stylish instrument panel protruding edges in the 1070 (and every other 70 series Case).

At any rate, several years went by, and I was employed off the farm. I never did run that 4430 until Dad had to be hospitalized, and I had to do his fieldwork. I jumped in the old tractor and sure enough, it ran hot. So, since we didn't have an air compressor big enough, I drove it to a neighbor's and spent over an hour blowing chunks of dirt out of that radiator. Dad would hose 'er out, then run to the field and fill the radiator with dirt catching in the wet radiator. I also got a bunch of straw and other debris out. After I got back to the field and hooked up, I selected a higher gear and throttled the motor back so I was running the proper ground speed.

That cab was quiet. The motor just chuckled along, and if it encountered a pull, the turbo started to sing a tune and yank that implement right along. I also didn't have to fuel so soon that afternoon, either.

Of course, I reported this to Dad. He seemed pretty non committal about the whole thing - the tractor was, after all, a John Deere and not worth his thinking about it too much. I think he did finally stop hosing out the radiator, which was a source of irritation to his friends who had advised him to use air and were ignored.

To make a living off the land, one must be stubborn. But, one must be an effective businessman as well. I, too, am something of a traditionalist, but it always seemed to me that if the tradition cost money above and beyond, maybe, just maybe, that kind of thinking needed to be revisited for validity.

My grandfather ran Case tractors, which was really the reason for my father's slavish devotion. I didn't inherit that kind of thinking. Frankly, were I farming, I could give a rat's ass what color the hood might be on my tractor - as long as I had a dealer who supported it. As a rule, Deeres are more expensive. They also have greater resale value, and they have the best dealer network. Period. This might piss off some Long Green Line fanbois out there, but they aren't always the best piece of equipment. Having all those dealers with parts in inventory does cost money, though, which is why the greater cost. Nowadays, we have several brands that are well supported in this area, so the choices are greater and the costs perhaps can be reduced.

So, I'll never understand my father's extreme stubbornness that actually cost him time and money.