Up Yer Shaft

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If you are a scifi nut and in particular a big fan of Star Trek, well, enjoy this collection of quips and quotes from Chief Engineering Officer Montgomery Scott (some higher ranks in "newer" episodes) taken from his appearances in the The Original Series, Star Trek The Next Generation, and the movies with the TOS cast.

What is it?

Ahh, uhh........... 

..........It's green.

If I Were In This Commercial

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Yeah, yeah, yeah. A fine set of wheels should be kept clean.

Just not with Armor All's crap.

If this a$$shole came to my garage and tried to run off with my pickup because I hadn't kept it clean enough to suit him, he'd be staring down the barrel of a caliber that starts with four and ends with five. Then, I'd tell him to clean it up using the crap that his company sells as car cleaners and protectants. Stuff I have already.

For instance, the disposable interior cleaning sheets. Are you kidding me? All you get done is to clean some of it off, then smear the rest of the dirt around. When it dries, it looks like crap. So, lather, rinse and repeat until it becomes obvious that it will never get clean - those little white sheets are gonna come up dirty each and every time you wipe it across that door panel you've already wiped off about thirty seven times.

You think that crap is hot $hit? And you're willing to steal my wheels to prove your point? Prove it, mother&*%^)#.

And the scantily clad girlfriend?

If she's so willing to drop me for some role playing nitwit, she too can get to cleaning, and when they're done, just go ahead and run off with him. I don't need you, either. Might miss your assumed mad skilz in the bedroom, but as for the rest? Loyalty means nothing to you?

Eff you and the horse you rode in on too.

Insurance Companies. Feh.

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I'm sure y'all will be shocked to find this commercial pisses me off. What in the wide wide world of sports do I need an insurance company for if they're just gonna watch the thieves run off with all my crap? I could give a rat's ass whether or not they replace it as new or whatever - just don't let it happen in the first place. And our lithe Nationwide reverse cat burglar could easily trap these fools.

At least she's easier on the eyes than the insipid green lizard with the fake British accent.

The "star" of the commerical is Jana Kramer. Okay, she's a lot more than just easy on the eyes, she's flippin' hawt! Looks impressive in black tights, I've noticed.

With Apologies.....

...to Robert Frost and M. Scott Peck......

Testing Twitterfeed

This is a test to see if Twitterfeed will feed this post to Facebook. It has dropped the feed enough times that I have forgotten how many.

Has Hell Frozen Over?!?

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Just checking. Are dogs and cats living together, too? The end of the world as we know it?!?

H/T Breitbart

G.R.O.S.S.

I'm feeling like crap, I'm fat and lazy, and it's my birthday. So I'm not very creative. So, here is a complete Calvin and Hobbes story arc.

I think we can safely assume that Suzie has Calvin's number, regardless of his high opinion of his own intellect. It's strips like this that made me a comics nut so many years ago.

Movie Consultant

One of the advantages and disadvantages of blogging is that you do become a figure accessible to the general public. All in all, I have found this to be an advantage - I've enjoyed my interactions with the varied folks I've "met" through blogging and social media.

One of the things I've been pretty quiet about is that a group of Australian prospective filmmakers decided I might be an authority on farms in the early sixties. They were putting together a short that they plan to enter into the film festival circuit. I kinda had to abandon them later on because time became an issue, but I sure enjoyed giving them my opinions on locations, decor, how a farm looked, clothing, accents of the actors and so on. And they were very nice with me as well.

I've seen their original rough draft - and I really enjoyed it. But, like I said, I felt I needed to keep my mouth shut, as it were. However, they have had their screening (in Australia, of course), and they have a trailer posted to Vimeo.

So, without further ado, the trailer for The Landing:

The Landing | Short Film Trailer from Perception Pictures on Vimeo.

Progress?

Kitsey and I have made a lot of progress. She likes to lay right in front of me, flopping on her back in a most unladylike posture - legs all akimbo. She doesn't seem to mind if I pick her up and put her in my lap. She hasn't figured out that she's welcome to jump up, so she plays in her litterbox and flip flops clear across the room when I'm seated.

Last Monday when I headed out to work, well by golly, that was when she decided she wanted in my lap. When I was putting my socks and shoes on. Anything to delay me, I guess. Now? Not so much.

When I took these pics, I had her in my lap with me in the recliner. I couldn't keep Rooster out, but Kitsey's world view has me picking her up and coming to her.

Good luck with that, cat.

And right after I took these photos, I was bitten. I slapped her, and she didn't leave my lap, preferring that I continue to pet her. And not five minutes ago, she was on my bed as I walked by and was talking to me. I figured she wanted petted, so I did. I was attacked instead, and about bitten. If she had claws, I expect I'd be sporting some good scratches. So I slapped her again.

I get the feeling that any sort of discipline is totally foreign to her - that she's pretty well gotten away with whatever she wants to do in the past. That is all fine and good, but we have some rules in this house, and one of them is that you do not bite the hand that feeds you, and that you are required to stay off certain furniture. That's about it for cats, and it seems pretty simple to me.

Rooster would forget sometimes and have to be reminded, particularly about climbing all over the furniture. Kitsey hasn't gotten very far past the idea that she might be held accountable for her transgressions, and that some of her actions are in fact transgressions.

I hate being the asshole, but I'm not gonna allow biting and clawing. She started it, I'm finishing it. I'm the dominant one in this house. I'm not real wild about never being able to trust her - whether I'm gonna get my hand bitten off or be glad I'm handing out attention.

Whether she spends time in my lap, under the bed mad at me, or in the litterbox mad at me is totally up to her.

This is My Kansas

This is my Kansas from Scott Bean on Vimeo.

It is my Kansas as well. As a rather good photographer, Scott Bean has an eye for the natural beauties and wonders that are contained within our state.

From his website:

I have to say something about where I take photographs, my home state of Kansas. Many people think that Kansas is simply one large, flat wheat field. Certainly wheat is important to Kansas and wheat fields hold their own beauty, especially with a gentle breeze blowing across them right before harvest. But that is not everything that Kansas has to offer. Kansas actually has many diverse landscapes across the state. And as for flat, well most of Kansas is not that flat. I’ve now lived in the Flint Hills longer than any other area of Kansas and I’m constantly stunned by the beauty of this area. If you haven’t experienced the different landscapes of Kansas then you are missing out on something special.

I know it is cliche, but I sincerely hope my images will inspire you to "stop and smell the roses." We are surrounded by beauty but seem to rarely take time to notice it. If we aren't careful it is going to be gone before we know it. I can be so attuned to the light and shapes, texture, and colors when I'm out photographing and feel so alive...only to be lost in the noise of our ever increasingly complex world when I return after a session of shooting. I hope you can find some time to get away from the rat race with me and enjoy these photographs.

He has plenty of other photos on his site as well. Worth a look.

Scott Bean does have an advantage living in the Flint Hills - that is probably the most scenic of all the areas in Kansas.

But I still love my prairie, and while we don't have much in the way of waterfalls around here, we do have a lot of deep creek channels cut over the centuries through layers of limestone bedrock, creating imposing structures lording it over the valley below. The varied flora, fauna and wildlife are an integral part of that tapestry. The open vistas of the flat prairie expose much of the more interesting features, and yet, headed across said flat expanse will uncover a hidden valley, surprising in it's mere existence.

Well, anyways, I hope you enjoy his pics as much as I did.

H/T Jade DeGood

"Think Out of the Box" They Said

Don't ever let anyone tell you that it's never been tried before in automotive design.

H/T Larry