The $9.99 Hotel Room

That would be Sin City. It was really hazy there - almost as bad as Denver used to get several years ago. We made it to Primm, NV - on the California state line. We've got to have escorts in Liberal Utopia, and they'll meet us here. There is a small truck stop and a fairly decent casino here - and when we filled up, the manager told us to be sure and take our fuel receipts in - rooms were $9.99. Normally, they are thirty bucks Mon-Thurs. Since fuel was almost three bucks a gallon, that helped the ol' bottom line for the company. We also got five bucks off in the cafe, and fifteen bucks comped on our "player card" that we could burn. Free t-shirt, too - but they didn't have them in Omar the Tentmaker sizes, so one of my compadres and I got smaller ones for two of his grandkids - I didn't need a t-shirt that wouldn't fit.

So, I got $40 from an ATM - that was my budget. $4 transaction fee. Plus, before you could gamble on their money, you had to pay for the first play. I'm a quarter slot kinda guy - I like the old fashioned three reels with two diagonal and three straight lines, but I couldn't find one. So, it was a single line, then. I used up their comped bucks, and was eating into my twenty, when I hit a triple bar. $68 bucks! I quit right then - had I continued, that would have been gone plus my other twenty.

So, internet here is $11.99. None of my browsers would open to their sign in page. OK, I've got a toll free number to call. Wait, that's seventy five cents for toll free and local calls, each. I get tech support, and he tells me to put 'er to sleep while he worked on some stuff. Mkay, when I tried again, it's glacier slow, or speedy quick, or dialup crawl. The router wasn't keeping me hooked up. Mkay, call again - but this time I used that modern invention - the cell phone. I guess I've lived too long without one, and even ten years later, I forget to use the dern thing.

He told me he'd put my MAC address on their priority list, so sleepy time for the laptop. He must have known his stuff, 'cause it's working pretty good now. So, I figure I'm ahead about thirty bucks after getting internet service, the ATM and the stupid phone call. Plus I had a fifteen dollar meal for ten. Not too shabby.

Yeah, maybe I gave up the opportunity of a lifetime by not continuing to gamble. Yeah. Okay. Sure. You betcha. Whatever.

My room number is 1413 - and there is no thirteenth floor. You know what that really meant my room number truly is. Snork!