Creeps

Charlie Brown - you are officially creeping me out. First it's pencils, then it's gonna be her underwear. Stop the madness now. In other news, Lucy is still a mouthy bitch.

 

And Linus is an anal retentive pedantic little prick. But well meaning, of course.

March Dadness

My father was a big time college basketball fan. The sun rose and set upon the Kansas Jayhawk Empire for him, but he was always up for watching a good game on television.

He really came into his own during March Madness when I had a 4DTV C and Ku Band satellite system. You know, the huge dish that had a motor to move it across the sky to receive different satellites. He always claimed not to know "how to run the damn thing" and usually made me switch satellites to find whatever it was he wanted to watch. The 4DTV had one of the first interactive program guides on it, and it worked quite well.

But when I was off at work, he had no choice but to learn, and he did. At the time, one could purchase a package that showed all the games, but the kicker was that you had to pay. Or you could surf the "wild feeds" for the games. Wild feeds were usually dedicated to syndicated programming - they'd broadcast the Jerry Springer Show at a certain time each day on a certain channel for local stations to receive and record for their own broadcasts. However, the major networks also used them for programming like March Madness, where just a couple channels for east and west weren't enough. When they had several games going on at once, they had to find a way to send out the signal for each game so the local affiliates could broadcast the game they wanted to show. However, at the time, they weren't scrambled - they were "in the clear" meaning all you needed was a standard receiver to watch.

But the networks weren't completely altruistic. You would think you had the game tuned in and all of a sudden, the picture would go snowy. They'd switched to another channel, usually on a different satellite. Of course all the affiliates had a schedule of the proper channels and the times to switch, but us consumers were purposely left in the dark.

After a couple days, Dad had 'em figured out. If I happened to be at home watching a game with him, all at once he might reach for the remote and tune to a different channel. Sure enough, there would be the game we were watching. He never even wrote any of this down, like I'd surely had to do.

He passed away before the networks finally locked it all down and scrambled all their feeds, period. I was highly impressed with his memory and his ability to learn a new to him technology so well in so short a time. He wanted to know, so he learned. Before, he had me to mess with it. When I wasn't around to do it for him, he figured it out.

I cannot help but wryly note that this is the same man who "forgot" all his promises with regards to my transportation - like fixing up the old pickup he had purchased for me, or the promise that he'd buy something a little better. Yep, forgot all about it, and should I remind him, I got yelled at and my name was mud for the rest of the day and perhaps a week. It was ok for him to spend thousands on his hobby - model airplanes, but that largess didn't expand to me or any other members of the family.

And we're closing in on the fifteen anniversary of his death in April of 1998. I most definitely miss him, and I loved him dearly. But Lawdy, was he ever a pain in the ass, and he wasn't even trying.

Need A Little Help Here, Boss

drjim's wife is probably losing a grandson. Please keep him in your thoughts and prayers.

I Can Hear My Father Speaking To Me

And if I should be so stupid as to try Dolly's lazy ass scheme to keep from going outside, he'd be saying:

Shut that window, son! Are you trying to heat the great outdoors?!? Use your head for something besides a hat rack! If you can't think of anything better to do, I'll put you to work on something useful!"

And he'd be right.

And just because I seem to pick on the hoary old computer generated legacy strips that should have died a long time ago, here's another one:

Finally, after all these years, Hi stands up to Lois's soft tyranny of the job jar on weekends. She doesn't have one, but Hi has been dutifully emptying the thing out every weekend for decades, and it always fills back up. But he has tired of playing Sisyphus, and just wants a nap. It'll cost him, though. That look on Lois's face says couch for you tonite, pal.

 

I'm sure that is Alice's view on how things work - she's just there to make sure Dennis has stuff to get dirty and tear up. Not only is Dennis a Menace, he's a thoughtless little bastard, too.

You Have No Idea

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How much I'd like to pull this off some days.

Dubbed "The Punisher," Alexei Volkov takes a zero-tolerance approach to being cut off while driving his bus on Russia's roads.

Day or night, rain, snow or shine, whenever an errant driver gets in his way, Volkov rams his bus into the offending vehicle without apology -- and records it all on his dashboard camera.

The bus driver then documents the collisions by posting the video footage on YouTube.
In a recent interview which appeared on the Red Hot Russia website, Volkov claimed he's had more than 100 accidents.

"The situation is gradually improving ... due to my educational work," he said.

Volkov says his passengers have nothing to complain about because none have been injured.

And what does the bus company he works for in Zelenograd, Russia, think about his vigilante antics?
"If there is no fault of mine, the management doesn’t care," he said. "The bus usually gets only minor damage. If the damage is more serious, they just wait for the insurance payments and then repair [it]."

If you only knew.

Where I Use Cartoons To Express My Position on an Issue

Of course I speak of Mayor Bloomberg's announcement that any sugary soft drinks over sixteen ounces would forever be verboten, and the subsequent setback by a NY State judge. So, how do we show our support Bloomberg? By showing fat, ignorant conservatives. A fat Oprah probably would be the wrong color, so making fun of a fat white guy is A-OK. Since nanny statist progressives are so tolerant and all.

Oliphant piles on with the fat asses carrying a dead guy, who obviously died from drinking way too many Big Gulps. Because it's all about the large sodas - nothing else out there will make ya fat. Mmmkay.

Yes, clearly this is all for our own good, as seen by those who know better that the rest of us who'd just like to be left alone. Because this is exactly what's happening - us tubbies are just pouring down the sugar in spite of ourselves, and the great advice we get from wonderful leaders like the Mayor.

Yep, it's all about the big sugar companies all banding together to stop this sort of thing. Huh? Big sugar? Learn something new every day. I expect their lobbyists are working overtime. Oh, wait, that's "Big Pharma."

Of course the idea that maybe, just maybe, the Mayor has overstepped his bounds and is meddling where he ain't wanted might just be the actual situation. I think we should take away his bodyguards since he's so against guns. Good for the goose, good for the gander, I say. Since sugar and guns are bad, what is he doing with all the guns surrounding him at all times? Killers, all of 'em. Best he stay away as well.


Of course the absurdity of the whole idea of banning just sodas never seems to occur to many. Probably don't want to give 'em any ideas, but doesn't anybody on the left side of the political divide see how futile this all is? Okay, just answered my own question. It's more important to LOOK like yer doin' something than to actually accomplish anything. Silly me.

It is to laugh. The lower state court justice who overturned this idiocy has my respect. Of course, when one wants to be a complete Richard Cranium, one keeps on fighting, as it were. Bloomberg will appeal.

Yep, this is your tax dollars at work. Not finding jobs, or keeping us secure in our own houses, but rather worried about how much pop y'all drink.

I drink diet, if I do. So there.

Test Drive

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Jeff Gordon pranks a car salesman. And burns off several thousand miles of rubber on that black Camaro. Yee Haw!

And yes, I'd ride along. In a freaking heartbeat.

Mr. Gabby

You may have heard that Mark E Kelley, Gabby Gifford's hubby, is in favor of gun control. I know I'm preaching to the choir, but I'm not sure how their efforts would have eliminated the threat to his wife, but there you have it. He's free to feel how he feels, but he isn't free to infringe upon my rights; like it or not.

But that's neither here nor there. The other day he was caught out purchasing an AR-15, and the act hit the news. He did not announce that he was going to purchase one, nor did he announce his intentions to purchase a .45. After the news came out, he then posted on Facebook

I just had a background check a few days ago when I went to my local gun store to buy a 45. As I was leaving, I noticed a used AR-15. Bought that too. Even to buy an assault weapon, the background check only takes a matter of minutes. I don't have possession yet but I'll be turning it over to the Tucson PD when I do. Scary to think of people buying guns like these without a background check at a gun show or the Internet. We really need to close the gun show and private seller loop hole.

He has not, to this point, announced what his reason for purchasing the .45 is/was, or if he will turn it over to the police as well.

Mmmmmmkay. I know if I want to make a well publicized point, I always step right out and do something without letting anyone know about it to achieve maximum publicity. Oh, wait.....

Or, for instance, let's assume I want to show how ineffective drunk driving laws really are. I'm sure I'd get plastered and drive all over, and it I happened to get pulled over, why I'd be just protesting. If I didn't, well, I'm sure I'd turn myself in. Promotion coming later and all. Yeah, that would work.

Nope, I'm not buying it. Mr. Giffords was caught with his hand in the cookie jar, and all this other crap is just playing CYA. Okay for me, but not for thee, until I'm shown as a flaming hypocrite.

Wonder what the odds are he's gonna keep that .45? Of course, he'll catch a break from any sort of investigative reporting from the mainstream media - if they didn't see it, it didn't happen, and they never see liberals being hypocrites.

H/T Breitbart

Random Sunday Thoughts

I'm a South of the Border kinda guy. Yep, I'm hooked on the crap Taco Bell shovels out at us all. I just do - it tastes good to me. Not that I don't like going to most Tex Mex restaurants - I do, and love the biggest share of all those places I've been. But when I need something quick to haul home because I just don't feel like taking the time to cook or to stop and eat, South of the Border is right up there with Wendy's, Sonic, et. al. I grew up with Taco Tico (and after non payment of taxes, eating there in the State of Kansas is Right Out), and frankly their offerings taste really, really musty and dank to me now. And to think I used to consider that crap some pretty fine hangover food. Honestly, the greasy sludge seemed to sop up queasy stomach crud immediately if not before. But, it's all Bell alla time these days.

I also like the "new" Doritos Locos Tacos in Nacho Cheese and have some with most orders. So, it was with great anticipation I awaited my opportunity to feast upon the all new Cool Ranch Doritos Tacos.

Surprise, surprise - I like 'em. Sour cream only improves things. I like them more than the Nacho Cheese variety. Something about that flavor blends more into their other seasonings better than the Nacho Cheese Dust. But, as in all things, YMMV!

And my other random thought for the day?

 

Marie Osmond. Sang the Star Spangled Banner at the NASCAR race in Vegas earlier this afternoon. Wind blowing rather unpleasantly and ruffling up her hair didn't bother her a bit - she's a trouper for sure. Sang great, and guess what? Still flippin' hawt!

I've parked my libido on the porch and let the big dawgs run, but I still have eyes that see. Just call me an art lover. Or a dirty old man. Both work.

My Head Aches

After looking at this car:

Be sure and click for larger. You wouldn't want to miss anything.

This is the FinnJet, built by a 71 year old former Finn Artie Rahko.

It’s made from two Mercedes station wagons and many, many other parts that Rahko has added continuously over twelve years.

At the Essen Motor Show in Essen, Germany, this huge model became one of the most controversial events attractions. Unprecedented way ship curb weight 3.4 tons scrolls to 8 rounds and will take up to 10 passengers. Although it passed two old estate Mercedes-Benz 300 TD but also includes parts of 40 other cars. These include for example. 86 projectors, 36 mirrors and 3 rechargeable batteries.  A vehicle approved to normal traffic had built for 10 years and considers it to be a work of art the value of $ 950,000.

Finnjet measures 8,839 mm, is controlled by the front and rear wheels, and the cabin features a microwave, 2 air conditioning systems, refrigerators, televisions, kitchen stove and even a complete sauna! For a relaxing ride along motorway reportedly consumes on average just 9.4 liters of diesel per 100 km.

It also comes equipped with a microwave, television, freezer and a couple of air conditioning units. What’s more, there’s even a functional sauna fitted in the passenger cabin. To keep the beautiful beast running, three batteries and three alternators have been installed.

You really should go to the link to see all the other pics. I always get a kick out of folk art - because that is what this is. At some point, excessive gaudiness turns into art, and this is about as arty as it gets!

Who Will?

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This is the theme music for an ad promoting adoption of children in Kansas. It's been tugging at the ol' heart strings - enough to finally look up who it was and just what was goin' on here!

At first I thought it might be someone like a Sarah Mclachlan of the abused children set or something, but it turns out to be JJ Heller, a Christian folk singer who says Damien Rice and Patty Griffin were influences to her style, and that All Music describes her sound has being comparable with Jewel, Alison Krauss, Sara Groves and Griffin.

The Kansas adoption commercial only uses the first little vignette in the song, so it was pretty neat to hear there was more. And this line struck me as powerful:

 And now that you'll listen, I'll tell you that I..."

Sheesh, that's it. Listen.

Like I Care

I just heard on the news (and have seen it online as well) all about Kate Middleton's possible slip that she is having a girl.

After the Duchess of Cambridge was given a teddy bear at the appearance by a bystander, a woman in the crowd says she heard the royal say, “I’ll give this to my d-,” before stopping herself. When the woman asked her to confirm what she’d just heard, the duchess gave a very, well, politically conscious reply. The exchange was caught on video!

As far as I'm concerned, this ranks right up there in significance with Justin Bieber's latest hairdo, or what Madonna does next, or for that matter what Lady Gaga is up to. Even less newsworthy might be what the Kardashians think about some issue or another, anything to do with Michael Jackson, Snooki, Alec Baldwin and, and, and.....

I think y'all get the idea.

I realize there are reams of people for whom the Royals' every move is like a drug they just cannot take enough of to be satisfied. Not so much for me.

However, it did remind me of a bad joke. And you know me, I'm more than willing to sacrifice any image of taste that I might have earned by telling these things. So, here goes:

Three pregnant women were at lunch, discussing their conditions. The first, a brunette, started the conversation by saying that she'd heard an old wives' tale that the sexual position used when the child was conceived determined the sex of the baby. Since her husband had been on top, she was going to have a boy.

So, the second woman, a redhead, spoke up and added that she would be having a girl, since she was on top. This prompted the third lady, a blonde, to burst into tears.

After several attempts to settle her down so she could speak coherently, she finally said:

Not Quite His Point

Of course Mike Luckovich's point here is hahaha isn't La Pierre a hypocrite because he'll go through all the TSA screenings just to fly, but he won't stand for background checks when it comes to guns. What a moron, etc, so on and so forth.....

I'm sorry - well - maybe not so much - but you've been missing the point entirely, Mikey Luckovich. We are not wild about the screenings because they are just as effective in combating terrorism as background checks are combating criminals from getting guns. People who value their liberty object to both types of screenings.

Which is probably why we'll never reach a compromise with useful idiots like Luckovich. In his world, the TSA screenings are A-OK because there is someone doing something that makes him feel better. No matter if it works, it makes him feel better. Same with gun control measures - someone in charge is doing something. Actual operational effectiveness is not a criteria for judgment. Feeling good about it is.

So "they" don't care how or what we think about personal liberties, as long as their collective feelings are massaged. Which is why we need to beat 'em at the ballot box, out organize them, and outmaneuver them in every way to preserve and regain our rights. Let 'em whine, they sure as hell think that way about us. Why do we think we owe them something?

I Hate To Do This

Turned on word verification, because I'm just tired of deleting spam. Blogger's interface is easy enough, and it doesn't take much time in the big scheme of things, but I'm weary of it.

Not Just A NBA Intro

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I'm sure there are lots out there that do not realize the song Sirius is not just a popular intro song for introductions at a NBA game. Well, it originally was an intro for Eye in the Sky by the Alan Parsons Project.

Heard it on the big trip - took my SiriusXM radio with us. Had not heard it in years. Dang.

Sis Done Good

We're in Michigan now to attend my uncle's funeral, and Sis decided to rent a car. Both of our vehicles are long in the tooth, and I have a difficult time fitting in her econobox. It can be done, but for four days of nothing but driving? I have no credit cards anymore and didn't have the cash - gonna have to pay her back for my share of this trip.

This is what she came up with.It's a 2013 Ford Edge Limited, AWD and a 3.5L V6. So far, it's been a blast to drive, and I actually fit in the little thang. Which is all a matter of perception - while Sis likes it, she feels it is just too large for her. Huh? But considering what she's been driving, one can understand it. I think she's a tad warped at me because she's only got to drive it when she came up from OKC to my place. I've hogged it ever since. I put the VIN info in on this page, and it only has three options - the ruby red paint, the 20" chrome clad wheels, and the daytime running lights. They are the fang like slashes in the "corners" of the bumper beneath the headlights. I think they look kewl. MSRP on this puppy is $39,050 - seems kinda pricey, but the F150s I've been perusing are easily over $40k and get into the $50k range in a hurry.

One of the standard items on the Platinum list are these mirrors - of course heated and powered, but I'm really digging the tiny spot mirrors. Been helping me out in heavy interstate traffic.

While it is AWD, and a SUV, it definitely tilts more towards the Sport side rather than the Utility side of things. When we were leaving our motel the other morning I chose to exit at a driveway that had not been cleared of snow - it had some ruts through there, and had refrozen. This little hot rod immediately let me know that the eight or ten inch depth was toooooo deep. I used my old small car trick of straddling the ruts to climb up on the snow and eased across. Apparently there was an extremely frozen chunk that the right front found, because I topped out the suspension with a WHAM. At about three or four mph. So, the ride is quite compliant on rough pavement yet firm - body roll or wallow is non existent. Just not much for any sort of off road excursions. There is no on center wandering, and just thinking about changing lanes has one headed off in that direction - the steering is quite quick off center.

That ruby red paint has been catching my eye - there is a high probability of a new F150 in my future, and if I have my way, it will be this color. It is an extra cost option, but I'm thinking I like it.

Pretty decent information center underneath the door ajar warning. Options include a tach with the speed displayed digitally, or an instant fuel monitor with miles remaining in the tank, and then some menu options for two trip meters and some other stuff. It runs off buttons on the left side of the steering wheel - fairly intuitive.

The entertainment and HVAC controls are all in the touch screen and have some redundant controls in the steering wheel to the right and some below the display - that big wheel is the only way you can tune the radio. All the other options just change presets. The HVAC is dual control - you can set the temp for each side separately. There is a reverse triggered camera with a built in proximity sensor - when in revers, the display shows what the rear facing camera is seeing with some virtual parallel lines that indicate where you'll end up - so you can see if anything is in your path. When I backed out of a motel parking space and started to close in on a snow bank, it let me know tout suite.

And you can see the cruise and the left dash menu buttons. One thing I do detest about Ford and their cruise control is that EVERY time you shut the vehicle off, you have to remember to toggle on the cruise control. You can hit the set button all you want, but it ain't turnin' on until you do. Which is a pain for me, because the ol Z71 and the Mighty Binder stay on until you turn it off, and I'm not used to turning on something that ought not be shut off, in my humble and irritated opinion.

We started the trip running about as far as we could with the fifty miles remaining in the tank warning coming up, but we ended up filling after we drove for about four hours and had some range left more often - about twelve gallons instead of seventeen or so. I've been driving 80 or 81 in the 75 zones, 75 or 76 in the 70 zones, 70/71 in the 65, and about 62 in the 55mph zones, and averaging just a hair under 21mpg on all but one stop, where the figure was more about 20.5. Not bad

The V6 is naturally aspirated and runs through a six speed auto. It drops a gear climbing about every hill, but it is really unobtrusive. When ya pull out to pass and ease into it, the auto will generally just drop one gear. However, if ya poke it in the butt (not flooring it), she'll drop two gears. I've never been a fan of the sound of a V6, and this one doesn't sound any better. When one pokes it in the butt, the washing machine gods become angry. She'll squirt right on down the road no problem, but the sound of an angry V6 just ain't the same as a V8. And I have resisted the urge to floor it, or to check out the top end. Back in the day, I would have this vital information filed away almost immediately, but drivers' license protection seems to be the order of the day now. RPMs are around 2100 or so in sixth, then up to 2500 or higher when it downshifts. It winds tighter than the V8s I'm used to.

And the cabin is tight. Crosswinds don't work their way through the door seals, nor does flexing over uneven surfaces cause any noise increases. Frankly, the structure does not seem to flex at all. I'm sure it does, but it's gonna require a more finely tuned butt than mine to detect. Stiff body, stiff suspension yet a fairly compliant ride. Potholes are a thump heard more than felt. I had to run on some slick roads, and the AWD gave me the feeling of security I get when the ol' Z71 is switched to auto on similar surfaces.

Those leather seats are pretty damn comfortable. Two days of long hours made me ready to get out, but it was more the confined space for too many hours than the seats - these are ten way power, and one thing I'm not used to is the up and down setting. The Z71 has eight way -that's the element that is missing in comparison. My leather is fairly slick, but this stuff is grippy. I'm liking the grippy.

The only thing other than the cruise that has harshed my mellow is the turn signals. They are supposed to be "smart" signals - just barely pushing them is supposed to make them run on their own for three cycles, then holding them down and releasing is supposed to make them stay on until you are finished turning. Not so much. If you don't hold these down, you have no turn signals. If you let off, the stalk returns to neutral and the signals quit. So, one has to manipulate the signals while turning the wheel in corners if one wants the signals to display and let everyone know your intentions. I suspect a new switch would fix that.

I don't think I'll be wanting to give up the ol' land yacht gas hog style of wheels any time real soon (which means I'll still be getting the F150), but if I had to, this would not register as a hardship to drive every day. I have no idea what the other cars in this segment are like - never been in 'em at all. But his little puppy has been a pleasant surprise and nails competency while being fairly fun to drive. It just does nearly everything well.

Droughts Have Consequences

Just found out about this today - it's already happened.

Cargill Inc. said Thursday that it will indefinitely idle a Texas beef processing plant that employs about 2,000 people, primarily because of a dwindling cattle supply that is largely a result of drought.

The shutdown in Plainview, Texas, appears to be the first among major U.S. beef processing plants, as the industry's profits have been squeezed due to overcapacity.
"The idea of closing one or more of our major beef processing plants is not a big surprise," said Derrell Peel, a livestock specialist at Oklahoma State University's agricultural extension service. "It's been a matter of who blinks first."

Minnetonka-based Cargill is one of the biggest U.S. beef processors, and Plainview is home to one of the agribusiness giant's five sprawling plants that take in live cattle and ship out boxed beef.

The same economic dynamics that led to Cargill's Plainview closing have sent retail U.S. beef prices soaring the past two years, and no relief is in sight. Peel said retail prices could rise as much as 10 percent this year.

That would be after increases of 6.4 percent in 2011 and 10.2 percent in 2012, according to federal data.

Cattle ranchers can't even begin to rebuild their herds -- a multiyear process -- until the drought subsides. "Right now, [relief] of the drought conditions doesn't look very favorable this year," Peel said.

The Plainview shutdown begins Feb. 1, though Cargill says it will take measures to preserve the plant's "infrastructure" for potential reopening if the U.S. cattle herd rebounds. The plant in north Texas processes 4,500 head of cattle per day.

"While idling a major beef plant is unfortunate because of the resulting layoff of good people ... we were compelled to make a decision that would reduce the strain created on our beef business by the reduced cattle supply," Cargill Beef President John Keating said in a prepared statement.

The U.S. cattle herd is at its lowest level since 1952. "Increased feed costs due to the prolonged drought, combined with herd liquidations by cattle ranchers, are severely and adversely contributing to the challenging business conditions we face as an industry," Keating said.

By idling its Plainview plant, Cargill says it can operate three of its other big beef facilities on a five-day-a-week basis more consistently. Cargill plants in Friona, Texas; Dodge City, Kansas; and Fort Morgan, Colo., will receive cattle that normally would be slaughtered in Plainview.

Cargill doesn't break out results for its myriad meat businesses, though it has noted that its U.S. beef profit margins have been under pressure. Many U.S. beef processors are suffering losses or getting poor returns on the investments, Peel said.

The U.S. cattle herd has been in a long-term decline for years, particularly since about 2007, Peel said. Since then, grain prices have shot up due to structural changes in grain markets, thus precipitously boosting the price of cattle feed.

The 2012 drought, the nation's worst in decades, sent corn to over $8 a bushel. The heart of cattle country experienced its second straight year of very arid conditions, toasting pasture land.

More from the Star Tribune

I've hauled tanks for rendered fat and other liquids down there several times over the years. So, until the beef industry picks up again, Cargill Plainview is right out for us. We do business with the other plants as well, but still. The other plants can take up the slack, and I'm glad Dodge City's plant is one where they plan on expanding production, but transportation costs on that pound of hamburger just went up.

What a mess.

Road Trip I Don't Want To Make

Well, crap.

Sis is coming up from OKC and we're headed to southwest Michigan.

To my Uncle Bill's funeral.

Not sure when it is just yet, but we need to get going if we're gonna get there. He had been failing - was on dialysis for years, had bypass surgery years ago, and some strokes in the past few. He had really failed in the past few weeks.

It had been decided that his last dialysis was the day before yesterday and had been checked into a hospice. He had been lucid enough to communicate his wishes, apparently.

This whole ordeal has been pretty difficult for my aunt. It hasn't been easy on his three children, either.

He is the last of his family - his parents (my grandparents) and siblings (Dad and my Aunt Patsy) have all preceded him.

He was really a cool guy and I'm gonna miss him.

Magic Story

I'd heard this one before, but I just got it in an email again and had to share:

The young businessman was preparing to go on a long business trip, so he thought he'd buy his wife something

to keep her occupied. He went to a sex shop and explained his situation. The man there said, 'Well, I don't

know that I have anything that will keep her occupied for so many weeks, except...the Magic Penis!'

Mmmkay, so I think you'll understand why the rest is under the fold!

Drivng Me Mad

Naming cars has been something of a dicey proposition for automakers. The marketers live in fear of a negative image, and if a car has a crummy name, it's already started out on bad footing that may be hard to overcome. Like Mitsubishi's Pajero, which in some Spanish countries is slang for masturbator. What??? Or perhaps Ford's Probe. Gonna head up the ol' fudge canal with that thing, are ya sport?

Chevy's Camaro originally was touted as a small, vicious Mustang eating animal, but some Ford folks supposedly found a Spanish translation that says it meant a small, shrimp like creature. I think the sales figures of the Camaro have bothered those Ford folks much worse than some tiny seafood. And the Pinto supposedly meant "penis" in the Portuguese slang of Brazil. One must admit it was the fabulous engineering behind it and it's competitor Chevrolet's Vega that earned it's bad rep. I guess at least the Vega was named after an established astronomical artifact.

And some of the General's newer offerings kinda sorta make sense. A Traverse? You, too can traverse the incredible distance from your house to the mall. The Volt? Apropos for an electric car. A Spark? Just the thing to light up the arse end of your slacker teenager. Howza about the Cruze? Same teenager burning up your money on your gas card, Dad.

Ford's fresh offspring? Escape and Edge? Escape from the Edge, dude! Driving a Focus will make you concentrate more - on what I'm not sure. And Fusion. I think they were leaning towards the techie side - like wow, dude, that's like nucular fusion, yannow. I don't think they were wanting to remind one of fusion in foodie circles - "Yes, this car represents the fusion between Nordic and Hunan style cooking - we present General Tso's Lutefisk!" Yeah, probably not.

The manufacturer that has my shaking my head is VW. Some make sense - the venerable Beetle, the Golf, and even the Jetta has a speedy sort of name. But Routan? Sounds like a bad 1960s Japanese monster movie. Routan vs Mothra. Coming to a late nite monster fest on your favorite channel.

I do not relate to the Toureg. I am German (and Irish, too), and the only thing that name signals to me is a mashup of Touring and Keg. Perhaps that is the car that one uses to tour Oktoberfest in Germany and tap all those kegs. The hose washable interior is particularly useful in that regard, and the breathalyzer enclosed in the steering wheel insures that you will not be spending an inordinate amount of time in der klink. Probably not gonna wanna bring little Susy and Bobby along for the trip. All those busty Frauleins might give the kiddos the wrong idea about how Daddy feels about Mommy.

And worst of all is the Tiguan. What in the wide wide world of sports is a Tiguan? I tell you this, I do not see the rugged Sam Elliot, all decked out in cattle drivin' gear and wearing a pair of Colt's finest, step up to the bar and announce "I drive a Tiguan. Anyone object???"

Sorry, don't see that at all. Tiny Iguana is more like it. Something I'd clean from my boot heel in Central America. "Yeah, Tom, you wanna shake out your drawers in the morning for sure. Nuttin' like puttin' on yer tighty whiteys and getting one of them thar Tiguans all excited. They and yer family jewels just don't mix, son." I can hear ol' Sam say that.

So what car names drive you nuts????

F@%^ing Crooks

We keep hearing about the "sequestration" in the news, and of course the press is all over it. It's the Republican's fault - even though Obama agreed to the set up back in 2011 with the Budget Control Act of 2011. And the press breathlessly informs us about how essential services will be cut, people laid off, jobs in jeopardy, in short, it's the end of the world as we know it.

For about 2.4% of a spending cut? Are you freaking kidding me? Every government agency that cries wolf about this ought to have their leadership fired, right now. How many businesses can find five percent to cut easily and without hurting their production, services or whatever? How freaking hard is that? Yannow, maybe, just maybe, a .gov employee on the road might be able to stay at a Comfort Inn rather than at the Hilton or the Hampton Inn? Or perhaps slow that .gov set of wheels down from 15+ over the limit down to the speed limit and save some gas?

There are so many places where waste and profligate spending could be curtailed - what??? Do they need the private sector to come in and give 'em all a dose of salts?

And while we're at it, boy, aren't the Republicans being sooooo brave and all, trying to cut a whopping 2.4%. Whee. What rebels they are. Why, keep that up and we'll slip into bankruptcy twenty minutes later! Yeah! What savings! What terrible personal sacrifices! What is Congress and the White House willing to cut from their expenses? Maybe Pelosi can take personal trips using commercial aircraft these days? Maybe Michelle can keep her butt at home for a couple months before venturing out on her personal time? Perhaps the Congresspeople out there can cut back from three martinis for lunch down to two?

Sorry, just lost my mind for a second.

Brotherhood

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I've only seen this commercial three hundred twelve times since the Super Bowl. It's only put a lump in my throat three hundred twelve times.....

Sheesh. Fleetwood Mac with Stevie Nicks' Landslide? A story of loss and redemption? All in just over a minute?

Gah. Now I need a beer.

Great Speech!

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Short, sweet, to the point, and spot on. If you cannot relate to what this guy says, there is no hope.

I had no idea who this gentleman is, but the complete story is here. Dan Bongino is a former Secret Service agent who ran for the US Senate in Maryland and lost. Too bad he wasn't out here in red country - we'd vote for a guy like this in a heartbeat. I guess he has too much common sense and says what needs to be said.

H/T Doug M. at SondraK

Slow Down

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You may notice might makes right - the larger vehicles fare better, particularly the lorries. One could draw the conclusion that cutting off an eighteen wheeler in the states might be a poor idea. Or doing something stupid that puts your tiny car in one's path.

H/T Darin

A Baird Man

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This is, of course, from Scent of a Woman, the 1992 film starring Al Pacino and Chris O'Donnell. O'Donnell and Pacino play, as Wikpedia puts it:

Charlie Simms is a student at an exclusive New England prep school. Unlike most of his peers, Charlie was not born to a wealthy family. To pay for a flight home for Christmas, Charlie accepts a temporary job over Thanksgiving weekend looking after retired Army Ranger Lieutenant  Colonel Frank Slade, who Charlie discovers to be a cantankerous blind alcoholic.

 "Cantakerous" is putting it mildly. He's an asshole. Half the film is Slade berating Charlie. But, it's fun to watch, in a similar fashion to R. Lee Ermey's portrayal of the DI in Full Metal Jacket. You just can't help but watch the show. He's also a blowhard - but as the movie progresses, we learn that he really has been there and done that, and he does have some endearing traits.

Charlie finds himself in a moral quandary when he and another student witness other students arranging a prank (which finds the headmaster and his "committee bought Jaguar" covered in white paint), and called in and pressured to inform on those students. Of course, all the other kids are rich, and Charlie is not, and the headmaster tries to bribe Charlie with a scholarship to move on to Harvard if he finks.

He then finds himself traveling to New York City with the Lieutenant Colonel for a "breather" - unknown to Slade's family keepers, who would undoubtedly be against it. Fine dining, drinking, a suite at the Waldorf Astoria, a night with a high class hooker, then commit suicide. Charlie ends up talking Slade out of it - and that moment is the climax of the story, as far as I'm concerned.

As the trip progresses, the two gain a measure of respect for each other. Charlie could see Slade's pain and understand the bluster, and Slade could see that Charlie wasn't the weak willed pushover he originally thought the kid was. He learns that Charlie has a stiff spine and a good set of morals. His perceived weakness is just his natural kindness and affability.

But, Charlie's predicament remains unsolved, and he is called before a meeting with the disciplinary committee with the entire school present. Slade unexpectedly shows up in support of Charlie, and cannot hold his opinion in any further after the headmaster excoriates Charlie and lets his wealthy companion witness (with his father, a big donor, beside him) slide. The other "conspirators" were named by the kid, but the headmaster just couldn't do anything to them without corroborating proof. So, he was recommending expulsion for Charlie when Slade erupted, as seen in the video above.

That has to be one of the great scenes from modern movies, period. Some accused Pacino of overacting - he certainly played the part to the hilt. This scene wouldn't have made as much sense if Pacino wasn't so exuberant for the rest of the film - it would have been out of character. And, IMHO, this is probably Chris O'Donnell's best performance in a film. He's been a disappointment ever since.

And this isn't the only notable scene - while in NYC, Slade and Charlie encounter a young woman waiting for her boyfriend, and Slade talks her into dancing the tango. With him. The blind guy.


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Great stuff, eh? I wasn't going to post three videos in one article, but sheesh, this is the climax of the movie, and it gets pretty intense. And there is language involved.


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But, even though you've just seen three major events from the movie - if you have not seen the whole thing, you need to. There is soooo much more I'm not telling you about, and you do get to see some serious character development as the movie progresses. And Pacino finally won a Best Actor Oscar, after seven previous nominations.

It's certainly a tour de force for Pacino. Highly recommended.

Kansas On My Mind

No, not the state - even though we're covered in snow. No, not the KU basketball team, even though I did see them win a squeaker last night over the OSU Cowboys in a double overtime. Nope, been thinking about the rock group.


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This is from their second album Masque. I'd say they had the rock ballad pretty well down by this point.

Early in the morning sunlight Soaring on the wings of dawn Here I'll live and die with my wings in the sky 

And I won't come down no more
 
Higher than a bird I'm flying Crimson skies of ice and fire 

Borne on wings of steel, I have so much to feel 

And I won't come down no more
 
Sail on, sail on I will rise each day to meet the dawn 

So high, so high I've climbed the mountains of the sky
 
Without my wings You know, I'd surely die 

I found my freedom flying high I've climbed the mountains of the sky

 Floating on a cloud of amber 

Searching for the rainbow's end Earth so far below me, I'm here alone 

Free, I can't come down no more

Y'all can keep yer rap. Don't need it none hyar.

Yee Haw!

It's been snowing here for two days. Heavy, wet snow. Not a ton of wind. We've supposedly received 8 to 10" since this storm fired up.

Out the front door

It's even dropped another inch or two since I took these pics.

Using my door as a snow shovel

 And I know it's snowed more because I just cracked open the door and shoved more snow since this pic was taken.

Through the glass of the front door. The camera decided flash was needed.

Yep, that is my pickup beyond that tree. I'm gonna have to venture out to the grocery store since I'm about out of ice for my tea, dern it. Guess I've got plenty of snow outside if that proves problematic, but I'm also out of some other things and cabin fever is setting in. I had these two days off for three doctor appointments, but one called me Tuesday and cancelled right off, yesterday I didn't feel like fighting the roads to go to Dodge, and today when I called the medical center to cancel their answering machine talked to me because no one was there.

Is this a drought buster? Not really. The NWS says we've gotten about 2.4" of moisture or rain equivalent in the past 48 hours. Not gonna be nearly enough to make up for what we've not gotten in the past four or five years for sure. But maybe this has broken the cycle and we'll start getting moisture again. Time will tell.

And while I am enjoying this, it's only because I'm not out in it. I do not envy the poor bastards that have to fight this, as I have in the past. And while I can look at this as a Currier and Ives moment in time, the beauty of the snow and the placidity it encourages really doesn't cut it for me. I see the sloppy mess we're gonna have to live with for the next week or so as it all melts. I see every vehicle looking like crap because they have to drive around in the dirty slush. I see cattle suffering from the cold and mud plus calves with snotty noses, also worried stockmen. The mud sticks to the animal's legs and freezes there, and has to be damned uncomfortable.

I also see the soil taking a big drink, and in my mind's eye, I can feel the thirsty ground slurp this snow right up. I can see how when the weather warms up, things will start to turn green because there is hope for life.

If it weren't for the benefits that a well watered soil brings, I could easily live without the drama and beauty of snow. Rain works just fine for me.

Update: Before I even published this - I was watching the Duels at Daytona (to set the qualifying order for the Daytona 500 this Sunday) and I lost my DirecTV signal. The dish was full of snow. At the farm I'd just step outside and brush off the dish. Here, where it's mounted to the roof next to the gutters - well lets just say I had to whack it with a broom, and clear out underneath it as the snow would fall off and the roof held in in place still blocking the dish. At least I didn't have to bum a ladder from someone. Another reason I like rain better.

A Slightly Different Slant

A new tactic for spam?

I tend not to drop many remarks, however i did some searching and wound up here "Crossroads". And I actually do have a few questions for you if it's allright. Is it just me or does it seem like a few of the comments appear as if they are left by brain dead individuals? :-P And, if you are posting at additional online sites, I would like to keep up with everything new you have to post. Could you list of all of all your social pages like your Facebook page, twitter feed, or linkedin profile?

And similar - no I didn't check to see if they were from the same place. I'm sure they are.

 I almost never comment, however i did some searching and wound up here "Crossroads". And I actually do have 2 questions for you if it's allright. Is it only me or does it look like a few of these comments look as if they are written by brain dead visitors? :-P And, if you are writing at additional places, I'd like to follow anything new you have to post. Would you make a list of the complete urls of all your shared pages like your twitter feed, Facebook page or linkedin profile?

These words brain dead you keep using? I do not think they mean what you think they mean. Now they are insulting you all while spewing nonsense. I'm sure that's gonna make me click through to their redacted links and spend lots of money so they'll get rich. Yeah, that's the ticket. Me and Morgan Fairchild - my lover.

Didja Like Dinosaurs As A Kid???

Then if you are warped like me you will enjoy this clip - warning for very explicit language!


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The pterodactyl - nutting but awesome!

My Good Deed

For yesterday, anyhow. Today I watched it snow from the comfort of home.

I was on my way back to the yard in Garden City on K156, and the fact that I just didn't have the intestinal fortitude to carry on had me stopping at the lone rest area west of the big city at the junction of K23 and K156. I do not like stopping there. It is a "natural compost" facility. Which means in the winter on a cold day, a nice breeze blows up yer kiester and freezes the dangly bits. During the summer, flies attack those same bits. Needless to say, it was only the greatest urgency that had me stopping there.

When I stepped out, considerably relieved, a car came driving up next to me while I was preparing to mount my ride. A guy in the passenger seat hollered at me - it was windy. This sort of kinda made me nervous, since this is out in the middle of nowhere. There is traffic, but it's sporadic, and if something hinky happened, it might be possible for no one to see anything unusual for a long period of time.

But my Spidey Sense was on overdrive for no reason - it was a guy riding with his significant other and apparently their two kids in back. He asked me if going west was the right way to get to Wichita.

The sun was setting, and I said: "No, you are headed west into the setting sun. Wichita is east of here, a long ways."

It turned out they were from Perryton, TX and had no maps, nor did they have a phone with any sort of map on it, either. The young man informed me that "She just made me give up an iPhone 4!" Apparently, their budget couldn't handle it. He didn't seem to me to be up to handling much - she was driving, and making all the decisions. I know I was passing judgement, but oh well. So, they had no idea what I was talking about as far as highways and towns went, so off to the truck I went to get my Trucker's Atlas.

She did have some written instructions from her best girlfriend on how to get to Wichita, which involved getting to TX 23 and going north into Kansas until she got to Greensburg, where she was to turn right. One problem with that - K23 never goes through Greensburg.

The way they shoulda gone

Meade is where they needed to turn right. Greensburg is about two miles east of the US 183/ US 54(also US 400) junction. Some distance to the east. No wonder the kids were lost.

Where they actually went

Hey, the BFF said 23 - she stuck with it.

The young woman's father had broken his leg and was in one of the hospitals in Wichita - probably one of the many complexes Wesley runs. The name sounded right to the both of them. I drew them a map on a notebook they had and tried to keep it simple.

I dunno. I cannot imagine heading out into unfamiliar territory without a freaking map. I don't care if I've got cell and data service out the wahoo, I want my map. I find myself shaking my head that they headed out with two little ones so irresponsibly. Wow. Like I said, the guy didn't impress me much.

I gave them some rudimentary info on where the hospital was, but honestly, I figure they were gonna have to be talked in when they got there over their phones. I'm not sure my map made much of an impression - I don't think their map reading skills were quite up to par. Maybe if you can't read a map, you really don't need to have one with you.

But, wow. I wished them luck, they drove back to the east, and I pointed the Binder westward, and said some prayers for 'em.

Breakin' Out The Ol' Laser Eyes

Warning for language content!


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Mike Stefanik is a very successful, long time old school racer who has won a ton of races and championships. He had worked his way to the front of the feature race for the Whelen Modified Tour - the opener of the final night of racing at the UNOH Battle of The Beach event at Daytona, showcasing three different classes of racers under the auspices of NASCAR.

And, as in every other class's feature race, he got punted at the end. In any other venue other than NASCAR, Steve Park would have been put at the end of the line for aggressive driving.

But this was expected. This set of races was for prestige and money only. The track itself is temporary - using part of the backstretch and infield up against Lake Charles. A flattened paperclip shape with wide corners and no banking made this a rather unique short track. The eyes of the world were on these races, since they are now part of the opening events at the Daytona 500, and all the NASCAR movers and shakers are there watching.

So, for a couple of up and coming young guns like C.E. Falk and Kyle Larson (Earnhardt Ganassi Racing development driver and K&N Pro Series East Champion), this was a big deal. Both East and West K&N division drivers were invited.

And what a race it was between those two at the end of their feature. Falk had the lead, Larson wanted it. Larson got Falk on the inside, Falk put a slide job on Larson and got it back. Several times. But as the race drew to a close, it was clear that Falk either was taking a line away from Larson, or Larson's car had faded. Kyle couldn't keep his nose under Falk in those wide corners.

So, Kyle came burning in and used C.E. as a bumper, trying to knock him out of the way. He failed the first time, but he burned in again even harder and spun Falk out, going on to the win, to a chorus of boos. Twitter was apparently 80/20% in condemning Larson.Of course it was the topic du jour on the SiriusXM NASCAR channel. Most thought the action was wrong, but one thing was agreed upon. (Video here)

That last night would be more of the same, and all because of NASCAR's policy.

Seems Big Bill France didn't think people who had spent hours under the hot sun watching races, and go home thinking they had seen who had won, only to find out in the paper the next day that they had not. Some administrative decision taking away a win would drive people away from the sport. So, NASCAR might fine people, take points away, or whatever, but they will not take away a win.

You can see just what Mike Stefanik thinks about that kind of thinking. Good thing Big Bill is six feet under - that gaze would cut him in two.

It's A Time Honored Monument

This strip embodies what I detest about Family Circus - just in case you were wondering. Yeah, yeah, it's a beloved for generations cute look at suburban white bread life with kids. Sure.

Try Monument to Mediocrity instead. I think it fits far, far better

Twelve Years Ago Today

We lost Dale Earnhardt, Sr.

Things have changed a bunch since he was killed at the Daytona 500. Tracks have SAFER barriers that help absorb a large amount of impact force - which helps avoid the basilar skull fracture that killed him. The cars have gotten a lot less lethal as well - for both the crowd and the drivers. Tethers hold hoods, wheel assemblies, trunk lids and so on so when a major crash occurs, the parts stay together and not fly into the crowd. The cars themselves are capable of absorbing some pretty hard hits without transferring that energy to the drivers' bodies. They've been aerodynamically tweaked to try to keep them from flying into the air when they get sideways or backwards.

There are those who disagree with all this - the drivers should be wearing football helmets and piloting cars straight from the showroom floor with the glass knocked out and a maybe a roll cage tacked on inside as a minor concession. That would make it a sport for manly men again.

I dunno - if I'm going into a gunfight, I'm not wearing a t-shirt with a target on it to show what a stud I really am. I'll be wearing whatever ballistic clothing I can get and using cover, etc. to save my ass. I'm all in on the staying alive thing.

I don't see why racers should have to die for our entertainment to be entertaining.

Good Thing

From Gwinnett Daily Post

Now those are some hot doughnuts.

Gwinnett authorities said a Lawrenceville man boosted a Krispy Kreme truck from a Dacula gas station last week, making off with untold quantities of glazed goodness and leading a sheriff's deputy on a high-speed chase across the county.

Police said a Krispy Kreme delivery man was dropping off his wares at an Exxon gas station in Dacula at about 10:45 p.m. Thursday. That's when James Freddy Major, 45-year-old alleged doughnut fiend, showed up and fled in the box truck."(The driver) stated that the male had approached him before he entered the store to start his delivery" and that Major appeared under the influence, according to a Gwinnett County police report.

Within about five minutes, a sheriff's office K9 unit (and later a few police officers) had located the truck headed toward Interstate 85 on Ga. Highway 316. They tried to pull Major over, but he wasn't having it.

"The vehicle then sped up on the interstate and failed to yield to our visual and audibles signals to pull over," one responding officer wrote. "The suspect vehicle then exited the interstate on the Beaver Ruin Road exit and made a left turn, while running the red light on the top of the exit."

Major reportedly ran a few more red lights and forced at least one vehicle off the road, going as fast as 70 mph before fleeing onto Burns Road. Driving erratically and leaving the roadway several times, the Krispy Kreme truck eventually made it to Ferrite Loop, a dead-end cul-de-sac near Cruse Road in Lawrenceville.

Major hit a mailbox before trying to flee on foot."The suspect ... was apprehended by K9 dog bite and officers on scene placed the suspect under arrest," the incident report said.

Good thing Major wasn't dealing with the LAPD. He'd for sure be a Krispy Kritter by now, and reports would include a shot up UPS delivery truck and an ambulance, because of the obvious similarities to the Krispy Kreme truck.. Stolen doughnuts is serious bidness.

Crummy Time of the Year

 

This particular stretch of time finds me in a funk every year. My mother passed away on January 30, 2001. Her birthday was on Valentine's Day - February 14th.

I miss my mama.

Just An Idle Thought

All of us Second Amendment types really wonder what would happen if "they" came for our guns - how many would resist and shoot back, what would happen, how the police and military would handle it, and on and on and on.

I gotta tell ya though, the thought occurs to me if one guy can make the LAPD go completely chicken with their heads cut off, trying to kill innocent citizens without following due process, and just being general failures at their jobs because they have lost their heads, what would it be like if thousands of bitter religion clinging gun bigots across the nation started doing the exact same thing?

I must note that I do NOT condone anything Christopher Dorner Jordan has done. Going after the daughter of the person he felt wronged him is reprehensible. He is on a vendetta for revenge, not trying to defend his rights. Big difference.

Indications Are

That Jeffy will ever be smart enough to realize he's freezing his hiney off. That elevator never leaves the ground floor, I'm afraid.

Take A Break

"Walky Talky Hawky" from Foghorn Leghorn Quotes on Vimeo.


And remember this is kind of entertainment is what warped us all irretrievably so many years ago - all that gratuitous violence and all. Not like the healthy purple dinosaur and his ilk.

Not.

Warner Brothers had the best cartoons, end of story. Even as a small child, I could see that the Hanna Barbera (Tom and Jerry) were far more cheaply done. And I never cared much for the Mouse stuff. The Warner characters were all subversive, warped and derned funny. And no one, no one ever can match Mel Blanc.

This boy doesn't pay attention.