Sell Me Some Magazines, Baybee!

No patience for telemarketers at all.

Some years ago, I did business with "X" magazine subscription resale company. Supposedly, the "profits" went to "Certain Non Profit Organization." I purchased a car magazine from them.

Many years ago, Sis ran short of ideas for a Christmas present (or was it for my birthday? I forget), so she decided to buy the subscription to the car magazine for me. This has been going on for ten or more years.

This has not stopped "X" from calling me repeatedly over the years. Yeah, they had business with me in the past, and are technically exempt from the no call law. Thanks to the miracle of caller ID, if they call when I'm home they got ignored. Of course I get to see that they called me while I'm gone as well. Me not answering their calls apparently has never sent a message - hope springs eternal in a telemarketer's breast.

Cue the stage for tonight. I'm home feeling like crap and cranky to boot. Age hasn't mellowed me one bit - just because some idjut has my phone number doesn't mean I have to be at their beck and call (see what I did there?) when their autodialer decides it's my turn.

Ring! Ring!

@#$&*%! It's "X" Company. This is gonna stop now.

Hello, Mr. Jeffro (launching right into the pitch - not even asking if it's me or not), this is so and so with "X" Company calling in regards to your recent subscription to Car Magazine. As you know, we will donate to "Certain Non Profit Organization."

Excuse me (talking over the continued sales pitch), EXCUSE ME - (still talking over the sales pitch) - You are lying when you say the subscription was recent - it was over ten years ago. My sister has been buying that magazine for me for over ten years now (still talking over the Bu... We'll be savin.... Money goes to a goo...). We have a past business history, but it's OVER TEN YEARS AGO (still talking over and interrupting our extremely optimistic sales person) and YOU ARE NOT GOING TO MAKE A SALE HERE TONIGHT.

Suddenly the line gets quiet. Guess I got Extremely Optimistic Sales Person's attention.

We have not had a business relationship for over ten years now for a reason. I don't appreciate sales pitches and want your company to stop calling me and to take my name from your list.

Yes, sir. Your name will be removed. We won't be calling you.(in a rather crushed tone).

Okay! Thank You! Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

I'll - I'll try sir.

Better have thicker skin if yer gonna be a telemarketer, kiddo.

Next up - the "Fraternal Organization that Supposedly Gives Money to Cops Or Deputy Sheriffs or Some Sort of Law Enforcement Personnel." Back in my grain haulin' days, I gave some money to an organization that looked after our State Troopers. Who sold my name and number, no doubt. These outfits always begin with "Thank you for your generous donation last year." 

Which is a lie, because I didn't give any money to any LEO org last year - more like fifteen or twenty years ago. They're gonna get called on their lies, and I'm gonna enjoy it. In the past - politely decline. Not so much anymore.