Monday, August 02, 2010

Damn the Torpedoes, Full Speed Ahead

With apologies to Admiral Farragut...

One of the side benefits of my job is that I don't have to stay in truck stops. Sure, gotta get fuel and something to eat, but live there? That's what motels are for. I've found it tends to insulate me from the stupid. If you want to see how not to do it, just hang at a truck stop near you. Examples of doin it rong abound.

I was only in the Hook at Warrenton MO for about an hour - we had to wait for the oversize load curfew at St. Louis to expire so we could get across town. I was doing some paperwork and was treated with this situation. This guy was cruising down the center of the "aisle" and LO AND BEHOLD there was a space open GOTTA TURN RIGHT INTO THE SLOT BEFORE SOMEONE GETS IT!!!!!!

Well, I'm sorry, but the designers of said truck stops have maximized the amount of trucks that can park on their lot by making things rather tight. They've calculated swing room and such, and so one generally must be up close and personal with the trucks on one side of the line in order to have the room to swing the tractor wide and bring the trailer behind you. You know, since the trailer DOES NOT DIRECTLY FOLLOW THE TRACTOR.


This is our brain surgeon finally figuring out he wasn't gonna make it fit, and was backing out. If he'd had a clue, we wouldn't be able to see the spot he was vacating because he'd have cut his tractor to the left in order to align his trailer with the alley at ninety degrees to the parking place. He could have backed 'er up a little, brought his trailer closer to the line I'm parked in there, pulled forward, swung wide and drove right in. Alas, he backed it out just like he drove it in.

Eventually he had his tractor in the center of the aisle and his trailer dangerously close to the trucks in my line to the right of me. He never gave himself enough swing room - but he was also about to mow down some hoods, too. He finally gave up. I figured he went searching for a slot more suited to his skills.

But, I was wrong. All of a sudden I've got a truck in the two or three open slots to my left hauling ass - then slamming on his brakes because there were other trucks headed down the aisle. I mean he sucked the tractor into the pavement getting it shut down. He was headed for another try at that dern parking spot - just from the other side and much straighter.

Did he swing wide to the right? Hell no - he just pulled his tractor straight into the slot and barely got his trailer to fit. He should have shaved it closer to me and swung behind that flatbed, then pulled in line with his slot.



He was still jacking around trying to get his trailer "off" the one to his left five minutes later. My phone battery was dying, so I had to shut 'er down.

I hate to think how this fool bumps a dock. I'm sure there is wagering on how many hours or attempts it takes him to actually back that wagon.

I didn't see any telltale long streaky gouges on that trailer - but genius there probably hadn't been pulling it for many miles.

5 comments:

Jinglebob said...

Gott'a love 'em, cuz it's illegal to shoot 'em!

Lisa Paul said...

But surely there is a better class of truckers at Stuckey's truck stops. Are there anymore Stuckey's truck stops? On my last cross country trip, I was dismayed to find only one from Maine to Virginia and none East to West. When I was a kid, I always wanted to be a trucker so I could stay at Stuckey's. Pie, stripey blankets, Pecan Logs. What's not to like?

Cedar View Paint Horses said...

Good gawd my wifey is better with a trailer than that clown, and she's, well, a GIRL. Watching fools in a truck stop sounds almost as fun as sitting by the boat launch.

Jeffro said...

Lisa: Stuckeys aren't truck stops as a rule - they might have a little truck parking or even sell a little diesel, but none I've ever seen would park more than two or three trucks at once. Truck stops have fuel pumps with an island - so you can fill both sides. Most diesel pumps at places like Stucky's or a convenience store has short hose on their pump under a low awning. For campers only.

Check out their home page or the Wikipedia article.

Bob's Blog said...

I'll pass on to my stepson your words of wisdom. He turns 21 August 30, and is completing his first week in trucking school.