Well, we all know Valentine's Day is nearly upon us. As a public service I offer these pickup lines for the date challenged among us (me, too, but if ya think I'll use these, yer off yer rocker).
1) Did you fart? Cuz you just blew me away.
2) Are yer parents retarded? Cuz ya sure are special.
3) My love fer you is like diarrhea, I can't hold it in.
4) Do you have a library card? Cuz I'd like to check you out.
5) Is there a mirror in yer pants? Cuz I can see myself in em.
6) You might not be the best lookin' girl here, but beauty's only a light switch away.
7) Fat Penguin.... Sorry. I just wanted to say somethin' that would break the ice.
8) I know I'm not no Fred Flinstone, but I bet I can make yer bed-rock.
9) I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.
10) Yer eyes are as blue as window cleaner.
11) If yer gunna regret this in the mornin, we kin sleep til afternoon.
And .. The best fer last!!
12) Yer face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it my nuts tighten up!
H/T Larry S