This Is the Last Song

Andrea Harris posits that men in general feel it is necessary to inform women of the meaning of Don McLean's American Pie. That may be, even though I feel no compulsion to educate women about what McLean was talking about. She then calls the song overrated. I couldn't agree more.

There are some songs that we just cannot stomach out there, and this is one of them for me. It isn't the melody - it's the subject matter. It seems rather arrogant to presume that music died when Buddy Holly was killed in a plane crash. Hey, even the Big Bopper and Ritchie Valens were killed in the same crash, and somehow the "music" has continued. Jim Morrison, Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, half of Lynyrd Skynyrd, Kurt Cobain and so many other musicians have died before their time, and ol Don didn't have a peep to say about them. I'd think Morrison or Hendrix would have some sort of claim of influence that might just be a tad bit more relevant than Buddy Holly. Just sayin.'

Next up on my list is Carly Simon's You're So Vain.

 You probably think this song is about you.

What? You mean it isn't? Just WTF are you talkin' 'bout here, Carly, if not this particular asshole? Just who do you think you are shittin' here? Credibility now = zero. This clown might be a total waste, but now we know you and the truth are separate entities.

Then we have Jackson Browne's Load Out/Stay. It was sweet the first hundred or two times. Yeah, he's thanking his crew, which is nice. Every time it plays on the radio - just about ten minutes of my life I'd like back.  Please. Enough. I got it. You're welcome Mr. Browne, from the crew. For the nine millionth time already. Move on - please!

This next one is kinda obscure, but my teeth ache when I hear it. Edward Bear's Last Song.

This is the last song I'll ever write for you.

Thank Gawd. Are we done yet? No? Gotta drag it out some more? Maybe she left because of your crappy songs - ever think of that? Apparently not, because she came back and told him why she left, and thus, another song. Whee. Just. Can't. Contain. My. Excitement.

Another one way down the scale of hatred is Meat Loaf's Paradise By the Dashboard Lights. Way back, when Moby Dick was just a minnow and this song was new - I couldn't stand it. Now? It's a kind of fun song from the old days, and I actually find myself singing along. I know all the words. I may just kill myself and get it over quick and painlessly yet.

And yet one more in the category of past hatred hotter than a thousand suns but time has mellowed it to a mild simmer: Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody. I remember one of my serious musician friends whose musical tastes we all respected claimed this was the worst song from the whole album A Night At The Opera. But, once again, time has pulled the teeth from the serpent of enmity.

Scaramouche! Scaramouche! will you do the Fandango!?!

This was just the sort of song that suited Freddie Mercury's flamboyant style. He's dead now too, and I don't hear ol' Don singing about him, either, and frankly, Freddie was a far bigger star than Buddy Holly ever hoped to be.