Saturday, January 11, 2014

Wonderful New Product We Can't Live Without

If you don't have any, you will be required to purchase some from the .gov's newly established failure of a website. Don't get any ideas about fighting this, because the Supremes have ruled this to be constitutional. However, if you already have a similar product that meets guidelines, you can keep that product. Kinda sorta more or less if you held your mouth correctly, at any rate. Otherwise, you'll be paying way beyond market price in order to subsidize those poor underprivileged folk who cannot afford any at this time - they'll receive substantial subsidies in order to purchase the stuff.

Do not ingest, fold, spindle, mutilate or mock. The NSA will know, and send the FBI, the IRS, the National Park Service, Smokey the Bear and McGruff the Crime Dog after your ass.

Thank you for your time, and remember that we are from the government and we're here to help. We're here to service the taxpayers, so be ready - you are gonna get serviced in a big way, if you know what we mean and we think that you do. Remember to vote early and vote often for Democrats - just remember that we are the party of free stuff, unlike those nasty Republicans, who don't want rich people paying for your rightful pile of goodies.

No comments: