Why Having Children Is A Truly Stunningly Bad Idea

By Thel Keane.

Sigh......

Happy Birthday, man. Miss ya.

Sequester Trifecta

Sometimes great minds think alike.

I guess what really pisses me off is that this is all political theater. The powers that be are not cutting back on spending for themselves, and any cuts that have to be taken are set up to send us a message not to mess with their spending habits. This administration is acting like spoiled brats. Cancelling White House tours? Really?

Un Freaking Believable

What a load of - of - something.... IMHO, Jeffy now has carte blanche to kick Dolly's ass early and often. The spineless little weasel wouldn't do it, unless Mommy did it for him. At any rate, Dolly is in sore need of an attitude adjustment, probably involving corporal punishment applied to her bottom. Just sayin.'

Have Ya Noticed?

How the mainstream media has really been screwing the pooch lately? I mean more so than usual. Heh.

We would not be the only ones who have ascertained this fact.

The editorial cartoonists - even some of the liberal variety, have noticed as well.

This one pisses me off the most, as it outlines the ever present bias in our news media. Every time some idjut does something stupid, why then, it has to be tea partyin,' knuckle draggin,' mouth breathin,' redneck NRA members, radical religious right, Sara Palin lovin,' conservatives. Because we'uns have such a track record, doncha know. Eighteen years ago, hyperconservative Timothy McVeigh blew up the Murrah Building in OKC.

So "our" side is not without blood on our hands, even though it was put there by those who really had nothing to do with how conservatism works. The rest of the nutjobs have had definite liberal leanings. Judge ye conservative whacko until it's proven that is isn't, then don't judge so harshly when it's a liberal? How does that work, anyhow?

Frankly, I could give a rat's behind about the political leanings of these psychos. That they all need to die painful and memorable deaths is something I'm all in on. Never mentioning their names ever again would be another thought. But as long as there are those who'd try to use these acts of terror as triggers to obtain their political ends by destroying my rights, then I've as much use for those statists as I am the psychos who actually committed the crimes. Tar and feathers seems ever so applicable.

So Called "Gun Rights"

That was part of a comment left on this post by Erin Palette of Lurking Rhythmically. She was doing a bit of celebrating over the Senate's defeat of a slew of gun control bills, and one commenter wasn't happy about her stance on "gun rights," the chosen method of marginalizing her position.

The original post was a thing of beauty, but her response to the commenter is even better. Ms. Palette is a Pegasister (female brony), and spends a lot of her blogging time on that pursuit. Perhaps that might lead you to think she's a rollover, but you would be mistaken. Erin is heavily into self defense and the preservation of her rights, while still maintaining an overall progressive attitude. And she has a very good command of the English language and is quite adept at skewering those who piss her off. She does NOT care for condescending behavior, period.

So, go and read. Read her original post, then her followup. You'll appreciate the time you took.

Science!!! Ain't It Great?!?

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What happens when you wring out a washcloth soaked in water while in zero gravity? Now's yer chance to find out!

I gotta admit, it was different than I expected. I figured the water would sort of stick together, and it would end up getting sucked up by the now squeezed washcloth. The surface effects, not so much. Yeah, I learned all about surface tension and the molecular bonding that makes it possible, but it still didn't occur to me.

Only Shooting Stars Break The Mold

I do not have an iPod. I do, however, have a Sansa mini - I rarely use it and would have to look at the back to tell you the model. It works, though, and on long trips in the Chebby Z71 it's at work.

So, since the fire, that and my laptop are the repository of all my music. Luckily I digitized my CD collection last year - and found that a lot of my CDs had been rendered unplayable from too many miles in the various OTR trucks I've driven.

That's neither here nor there, this post is about stuff that y'all would probably not expect to find on the device. For instance:


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I've always thought ol' Dwight was pretty cool. My opinion of him went up when he costarred in Billy Bob Tbornton's Sling Blade portraying the abusive Doyle. He's not taken up the acting bug and stuck with music, which is our loss. He's a good actor.

Speaking of pretty cool, there's Clint Black:


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Good stuff.

Then, switching musical genres completely:


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Completely different, but entirely listenable AFAIC. Of course this was featured in the animated movie Shrek, which was a major hoot.

And besides that, there is wisdom in the line:

Only shooting stars break the mold

Dern tootin.'

Cry Me A River

The Senate can now officially consider it's ass has been chewed by Our Thwarted Dear Leader.

Nothing that was defeated would actually prevent or stop the killings that prompted this move. They were, however, infringing on our Constitutional freedoms. Obama claims the NRA "willfully lied" about gun registration. No, asshole, they didn't lie because your minions have said that registration is your goal. You, on the other hand, are lying when you and yours claim ninety percent support for the defeated legislation. You are also lying when you claim guns can be purchased without background checks on the internet.

Dancing in the blood of your constituents in order to advance your treasonous plans fails to impress us, Mr. President. Go back to ignoring the British and hide behind your teleprompter, before history rolls over you and your traitorous ass.

You may have guessed I don't care for getting my butt chewed for this shit.

Never Speak Of It

First rule of the Family Circus Club is to never speak of The Family Circus Club.

Then, never speak of personal responsibility. Which is why Ida Know, Nobody and Not Me are recurring characters. None of Dolly's siblings were handy, so she had to blame the sidewalk.

Wow. It's soooo cute when all of your children avoid responsibility and lie. Cuz that's how it is. Little kids are lying bastards and all we can do is laugh about it. Laugh, laugh, laugh. Ha ha. Isn't that funny.

Shi**ing My Pants

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Hah! Made ya look!

I'd be lying if I said I'd never shipped my pants before.

Lil' Psycho

 

Jeffy destroys what he doesn't understand. Here he prepares to incinerate a spider with his magnifying glass because he is incapable of conceptualizing how it perambulates.

Second Thoughts On Second Thoughts

Maybe I've been too hard on Jeffy in the past, especially where tying shoes are concerned. He has still never learned. Perhaps he's suffering from a learning disability, and I'm a cruel bastard who should be ashamed for making fun of someone who cannot help it.

Well, that's all fine and good, but the Keane Comics Complex thinks it is funny to bring it up all the time, and he's their character. So, I'm surmising that Jeffy is just a hopeless basket case and we'll be supporting him in some institution for the rest of his life after Mommy kicks the bucket or finally has had enough. Dolly, of course, knows which side her bread is buttered. It's Mommy, all the way.

Rall on Ebert

Obviously Ted didn't care for Roger Ebert. I didn't either, but for different reasons.

Scary - agreeing with Ted! Snork!

I Stand With Putin

Pic from The Telegraph, as well as the story

Now I realize we are at war ideologically with ol' Vlad Putin, but I gotta give him some props here. Several members of the womens' rights group Femen protested topless with profane slogans painted on their fairly bodacious bods. I make that call after seeing pictures of their International Topless Jihad Day last week, where they surely did not make many friends among Muslims (pics at the link NSFW, just the way I like 'em). Not that there is anything wrong with that.

Now I ask you, is that the face of a man who doesn't appreciate nekkid wimmen throwing themselves at him? Tell me he does not appreciate the spectacle. He did, in fact, enjoy the whole thing:

He added: “To be honest, I didn’t really hear what they were shouting because the security [guards] were very tough. These huge guys fell on the lasses. That seemed not right to me, they could have been handled more gently.” 

Mr Putin appeared to show a flash of his well-known salty humour, adding: “I didn’t make out whether they were blondes, chestnut-haired or brunettes.”

Of course he had to be all prim and proper:

The Russian president said protests by Femen activists were nothing new. “We’ve all got used to these demonstrations and I don’t see anything terrible here,” he said.

However, he added: “If someone wants to debate political questions, then it’s better to do it clothed rather than getting undressed. You should undress in other places, such as on nudist beaches.”

Yah, yah, yah. Your face just gave you away, brother. And what fun would it be if the Femen protested at a nude beach? These gals beat PETA and Bare Breasts Not Bombs all to hell and back, In My Humble Opinion (both links NSFW). And (definitely NSFW, and you really, really don't want to see this) Femen is much, much better than San Francisco's Inflated Scrotum Man.

There's nude, and then there's nude. There is a difference!

Sunday Funnies

Been a while since I've done one of these, so here goes!

Nice to know the order of importance in Our Dear Leader's head.

Pretty much.

At least Crankshaft won't be driving the bus with actual children anymore until his broken arms heal.

As y'all probably know, I have little use for Jeff Danziger. However, even he sees that the jobs market is screwed.

 

As I was reading this I feared that the comics page would just never be the same. Turns out Marmaduke "marks" things differently than other dogs. Whew!

Turns out Snoopy is a stinking sellout. Of course, we've had clues (coff, coff, Metlife, coff). No surprise.

 Couldn't not post a Calvin and Hobbes Classic, now could I? Calvin shows he has a firm grasp on modern business principles.

I'm All For Liking This

This is an exchange I noticed on Facebook the other day. It's all local women posting, except for the instructor.

While the big robbery the other day was an influence, I know for a fact that it was just a tipping point. These women had been considering taking a class so they could carry concealed for some time and had been putting it off. The robbery was just a reminder.

I cannot tell you how much this gives me the warm fuzzies.

I am very happy indeed that our state and local laws allow and encourage women to be able to defend themselves effectively. They are completely aware that law enforcement is quite a bit of time away from them should there be any trouble, and that the local LEOs feel that women should be armed if they choose.

Plus, this is not the only thread talking about women taking concealed carry - there are others who are committed as well.

Like I said before: we don't care for this sort of thing in our town, and won't stand for it. This includes the women - not just us guys beating our chests. If someone is planning a repeat, best keep this in mind.

Edited to add: I had nothing to do with this - it was all from our local women! I just happened to see it on Facebook! And, I'm proud of them all!

Brilliant!

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"What about my needs?"

"It's not you, it's me."

Pretty decent parody, even if it does have a commercial at the end.

I Know I'm An Evil, Evil Man

 

When I see this, I think if Jeffy thinks bugs need to be indoors so bad, perhaps it's time for a constructive moment: "Jeffy, you should really go out and play with one of these"

Have fun!

How Mens' Minds Work

It was not a man who noticed the lack of a seatbelt. Just sayin.'

H/T Nuckle Kim

They Helped Me Make Up My Mind

Been looking at new phones lately. I'm with Verizon, but that's not who I started with. Originally, it was Kansas Cellular. Then it was Alltel, who I really liked. Now Verizon. Not the same.

But I and every trucker I know from this area gets far better service in points unknown than anyone else. Period. When the iPhone first hit, one of our lease drivers had, absolutely had to have one. We ran together up to North Dakota, and ran most of the way back together. He lost service in Nebraska, and only got it around certain parts of I94. Granted, that was a while ago, and AT&T and Sprint have improved service in that area. Another one has service from our local telco, and they're hooked up with Sprint for the rest of the country. He can make phone calls while in ND, but not text or get online. Sprint apparently has no data agreements there. Verizon does.

So, I'm not gonna switch carriers. If I get a subsidized phone, I'm gonna have to ditch the grandfathered all you can eat data plan. For now, Verizon still lets me have it, and if I want to keep it, I have to pay full price for a new phone. Considering the way the industry works, I'm skeptical that I will be able to keep it long term even if I do purchase at full price. One day, they'll just announce that the grandfathered data plans are history.

So, not sure about keeping my buffet data.

And I've really had good luck with Motorola phones over the years, but I'm sure leaning towards the new Samsung Galaxy S4 that will be out this summer for sure. Worth a try.

So, since my phone is paid off, and they're pushing me to buy a new one and offering discounts. One ad caught my eye the other day - "trade in your old phone for cash!" it said. So, I looked up what I'd get from my Motorola Droid2.

Fifty freaking cents. Are you serious? Why didn't they just tell me they didn't want the damn thing? I'm not letting 'em have it for fifty freaking cents - they can stick that, well, yeah, you know where.

So I'll be keeping that puppy as a spare. Screw 'em.

Twenty Years Ago Today

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Alan Kulwicki, reigning Winston (now Sprint) Cup Champion , lost his life in a plane crash along with key crew members and personnel involved with Hooter's - his primary sponsor. It was their plane.


Alan was a significant personage in NASCAR history because he bootstrapped his way to the top. His pit crews were often volunteers, and Alan's education as an engineer was key in setting up his cars. At one point, he had no sponsors. Hooter's sponsored car was unable to make the race in question, and asked to talk to Alan. A one race deal was struck, and at the Atlanta 500 he scored am eighth place finish. This led to a continuing relationship between Hooters and Alan.

The car was a Ford Thunderbird. Later, Alan campaigned NASCAR to allow him to change the nameplate from "Thunderbird" to "Underbird" to note his underdog status, and they allowed it.

He won his Championship in one of the closest races ever in the pre-Chase days.

The 1992 Hooters 500, the final race of the 1992 season, is considered one of the most eventful races in NASCAR history.^[47] It was the final race for Richard Petty and the first for Jeff Gordon.^[47] Six drivers were close enough in the points standings to win the championship that day.^[48] Allison led second-place Kulwicki by 30 points, Bill Elliott by 40, Harry Gant by 97, and Kyle Petty by 98 and needed to finish sixth or better to clinch the championship.^[49] Kulwicki received approval from NASCAR and Ford to change the "Thunderbird" lettering on his bumper for the race to "Underbird" because he felt like the underdog in the contention for the championship.^[50] During Kulwicki's first pit stop, the first gear in the car's transmission broke.^[20] Andrews said, "We had to leave pit road in fourth gear, because we had broken metal parts in there, and only by leaving it in fourth are you not going to move metal around as much. We could only hope that the loose piece of metal didn't get in there and break the gears in half. We had three or four pit stops after it broke. I held my breath all day long."^[20] Allison was racing in sixth place, closely behind Ernie Irvan, when Irvan's tire blew with 73 (of 328) laps left in the event.^[49] As a result, Allison ran into the side of Irvan's spinning car and his car was too damaged to continue.^[49] Kulwicki and Elliott were left to duel for the title.^[47] While leading late in the race, Andrews calculated the exact lap for his final pit stop so that Kulwicki would be guaranteed to lead the most laps and would gain five bonus points.^[46] Kulwicki made his final pit stop only after leading enough laps to guarantee the bonus points.^[20] To save time, the pit crew did a fuel-only pit stop. Not changing tires allowed them to be available to push the car to prevent it from stalling, since the car had to start moving in a higher gear.^[20] Because the team's fuel man hurried to add the gasoline during the quick stop, he did not add the desired amount into the tank.^[20] As a result, Kulwicki had to conserve fuel to ensure that his car was still running at the end of the race.^[20] Elliott won the race and Kulwicki stretched his fuel to finish second.^[47] Kulwicki won the 1992 Winston Cup Championship by maintaining his 10-point lead over Elliott.^[3] He celebrated the championship with his second Polish Victory Lap.^[51] Always conscious of his appearance for potential sponsors, Kulwicki combed his hair, making a national television audience wait for him to emerge from his car.^[52]

1992 NASCAR owner's championship trophy

Kulwicki had overcome the 278-point deficit in the final six races of the season by ending with a fifth, a fourth, and two second-place finishes.^[23] Kulwicki won the championship because of his consistent high finishes.^[43] It was the closest title win in NASCAR Cup Series history until the implementation of the Chase for the Cup format in 2004.^[48] The championship was noteworthy for other reasons: Kulwicki was the last owner/driver to win the title for nearly two decades,^[53] the first Cup champion with a college degree,^[24] and the first Cup champion born in a Northern state.^[24] The song that played during a short salute to Kulwicki at the year-end awards banquet was Frank Sinatra's "My Way".^[1] During the prep work for the banquet, Elvis' version of "My Way" was found, but Alan insisted on Frank Sinatra's version.

Alan was also noted for being pretty picky!

Another tradition he started was the Polish Victory Lap. After he won a race, he'd cruise around the track backwards, so he could see the crowd and wave, and they could see him. After his death, several of his peers honored him by doing the same when they won, including Dale Earnhardt and Rusty Wallace.

I was a Dale Earnhardt fan back then, through and through. I think I was rooting for Davey Allison to win the championship, but when he had to drop out, I just sat back and enjoyed the race, watching how Kulwicki and his crew chief  Paul Andrews work out the strategy that won them the points necessary to defeat Bill Elliot. Awesome Bill from Dawsonville had won a bunch already, so it seemed to me only fair that the Underbirds should have a shot.

The whole thing was pretty cool because no owner/driver had won the thing in many, many years. We all knew we'd seen history being made, and it was quite a shock when Alan and his mates were killed. What a loss......

And as a side note, Hooter's is still involved by sponsoring their own racing series. They just couldn't bring themselves to sponsor a car in NASCAR's higher echelon. They tried, but found no happiness. They were never to have a relationship like they had with Alan. He was truly one of a kind, and the world is a lesser place without him.

Crime Wave!

My little home town has seen it's share of historical crime - shootouts and such - mostly battling it out for the county seat with nearby Ingalls. The Santa Fe Trail ran right by, lots of Indian action in the area, and in more modern times, the Clutters were murdered in Holcomb about an hour away. We've had to deal with a drug problem - meth labs and such, and other recreational drugs can be found.

But we ain't never seen nuttin' like this:

Wasn't me. I swear.

(CIMARRON, Kan.)—

Authorities are looking for a man who robbed a bank in Cimarron Monday.  The robbery happened around 11:40 at the Credit Union of Dodge  City on Main Street in Cimarron.Police say the suspect showed a gun inside the bank and left with an undisclosed amount of cash.  No one was injured during the robbery.The suspect is described as a white male, about 5'10" with a medium build.  He was wearing dark colored plastic sunglasses, a fake beard that covered most of his face and a hooded sweatshirt.The Gray County Sherriff's Office, the KBI and the FBI are asking anyone with any information to contact law enforcement at 620-855-3916.

Bank in this case means the Credit Union. You can imagine how stirred up Facebook is now. Hope "they" catch the SOB - we don't care for this sort of thing in our town, and won't stand for it.