Crossroads

I had a particularly bad day today.

I am currently in Michigan, here to unload some tanks in the morning. On the way up here, probably around 3pm or so our time, I got a call that said "Restricted Caller."

Usually I don't answer something like that just on general principle. This time, I did.

It was one of my county's undersheriffs, and he was letting me know my house was on fire, plus it was more than likely no hope. The county fire department was fighting it, plus the bales of hay set on fire, plus a grass fire that got started. It was, of course, windy as hell, plus the temperature got up to 112.  He called me later and told me the only thing standing was the old chimney and the foundation blocks. Everything else? Gone.  I understand the fire crews have a night watch tonight to make sure nothing starts back up again.

So, I salute and thank those guys. They saved the neighborhood. My neighbor called to tell me she had driven by at noon and seen nothing, and it apparently got going around two or 2:30.

The worst part of all this?

My poor kitty cat Rooster. My neighbor is out looking for him, and my Sis is coming up from OKC to try to find him, but I really fear it will be to no avail.

The rest of the stuff? No insurance. I've been unable to afford it for some time. It's either doctor bills, property taxes, or something else. All I've got now is the laptop I carry, a week's worth of clothes, my pickup, and the stuff that's in there. It's all just stuff. I'd been selling off my guns to pay bills for the past several years, so I didn't have many left. Now they are all gone including the family heirlooms that meant something to me. I don't have any of the drugs I now need for next week - I just carry the week's supply.

I'm gonna have to find some way to get refills before the insurance company thinks it's time. I was just thinking - my DirecTV bill is due. Not gonna be watching that anytime real soon. And so much more - pictures, furniture, bedding - all the little things we have at our homes for everyday use.

I'd swap it all for my cat if I could. He didn't deserve this shit. I'll survive, and that isn't fair to him, dammit.

I keep hearing that at least I wasn't there asleep and end up roasted myself. Yeah, I'm glad that didn't happen.

I could have dropped my trailer and headed back when I heard about it. My company offered that option to me. I just couldn't do that - I'm responsible for my job duties, and it would have put stress on others. I'd only get back a few hours sooner anyways, unless I wanted to drive day and night. I sure wouldn't do any good after I got back wearing myself out like that. I'm already tired from two long, hard days.

So, at the moment, I'm at a crossroads. Friends and relatives have already stepped up (if you are on Facebook - you are seeing it happen, and I am in awe), and I already have places to live.

I may end up selling the farmground to get another start. I really don't want to move, and perhaps a trailer might be in my future. I'm "trailer trash" anyhow, I just lived in an old tinderbox farmhouse.

So internet access for me might be spotty for a while, and I expect I'll be busy as well. Don't be surprised not to see much happen here or on Facebook from me. I'll keep everyone posted as best I can.

Please say a little prayer for my cat. He deserves it.

There Is Fast, Then There Is Really Fast

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The cars on the left are real race cars from the FIA GT series. They are, in a sense, stock cars in that they are modeled after production cars but are in fact purpose built race cars. The cars on the right are F1. Which, of course, are purpose built racing cars as well, but built with a far, far higher standard of performance.

Interesting direct comparison. Our street cars would definitely look like slugs out there.

I'll Be

Just noticed the post count for this blog on Blogger's Dashboard. This post will bring the total to 1601.

I had no idea. Over 4100 comments, too.

Time flies when her havin' fun, I guess!

Adventures In Customer Service

My poor laptop lives in a seriously abusive environment - my lap. That includes my sloppy eating habits (you'd think a guy as big as I am would have a far better hand to mouth ratio), and more importantly - a cat. I try to keep it blown out and wiped down, but apparently to no avail. The "L" key was sticking, and instead of doing some research, I just pried it out. Then I couldn't get it put back together. It has a sort of mini suspension system that apparently requires a pop out tool. The last keyboard I took apart did not need anything, one just popped 'em out and snapped 'em back in. I could buy an individual key ready to pop in, but I figured why not just get a new keyboard. So, the first place I found on Google that seemed to have a good stock on hand was LaptopZ.

A search for my specific model number found nothing. A specific search for another model number HP uses turned up nothing. Mine is in the Pavilion G6 series, and a search for a black keyboard turned this up: http://www.laptopz.com/index.php?main_page=advanced_search_result&keyword=g6+black+keyboard.

Forty two different keyboards. They noted to make sure the ribbon cables matched as well, so I took mine out and copied all the pertinent looking numbers I could find. Let's look at the pictures they have for comparison:

This is a picture of the model G60. It has a numeric keypad on the right. Mine does not. Hmm. Picture does not match. So, I look at the very next model number:

Well, isn't that helpful! It's the exact same picture. Does me a lot of good. Turns out all of the pictures of black keyboards for the G6 line are identical.

Well, let's see about the ribbon cable. They mention how important it is for the pictures to match.

Mmkay, the tag doesn't match what is on my keyboard. Let's look at the next model.

Starting to notice a trend here - it, too, is the same exact picture. Same keyboard. Each and every different part number. That does not correspond to anything on this laptop.

So, they have an online contact page - enter your question and they'll get right back to ya. Ok. I input all the information I have from the back of the keyboard, length and width, the information about the color and no numeric keypad, and tell them all their pictures are the same, how am I supposed to determine which one I need? Please tell me you have information specific to different model numbers as to what models of HP Pavilion G6s they fit!

I got an automated confirmation email right away. Then I got this:

Dear Jeff,

Thank you for your letter.

It is my pleasure to help you. We find the item which can be suitable to you, here is the link, please confirm:
http://www.laptopz.com/index.php?main_page=advanced_search_result&inc_subcat=1&search_in_description=1&categories_id=44&keyword=HP+Pavilion+G6&=+

If the layout and connector are the same as yours, it can be fit for your laptop.
We look forward doing business with you in the near future.

Please feel free to contact us if any question.

Best regards
Josy
Service@LaptopZ.com

Welp, isn't that special! Josy sent a link to all the G6 laptops, only now we're looking at silver and black ones, not just black! Wow! What fabulous technical help! Guess what? All the silver models' pics are the same, too! Imagine my surprise!

Josy:

Thank you for your reply, but I have to ask - did you read my question at all? I have already seen all the keyboards that a search for a G6 turns up. Each and every one has the exact same picture of the exact same keyboard - and it has a numeric keypad. Which, if you read my question - I mentioned. Telling me to look in the same place I already looked for something I did not find and does not meet my needs is useless.

Your site says the ribbon cable must be the same. How am I supposed to tell if the picture of THAT is the same thing over and over again. Are you selling only one keyboard model with 97 different part numbers?

Surely you have some information that puts a particular keyboard in a particular model of laptop. This is what I need. I have given you several different numbers from the actual keyboard in question, and none of them match any part number you have, or I'd have ordered one that did.

I still need a keyboard, but if this is the best I'm gonna get from your company, I'll be moving on.

I received their response and responded on the nineteenth. So far, no answer. In the initial email, they gave me a log in to check on my status. So, I just logged in, and everything is there - the initial question, the response, and my response. I'm tagged as PRIORITY  "medium." So, on their page, I entered this response: 

Hello? Anyone there? ALL YOUR PICTURES OF DIFFERENT MODEL NUMBERS ARE IDENTICAL.

I cannot determine from the information you have provided on your website or your initial answer which one I need. I have given you pertinent information about the keyboard in question. Are you going to answer, or am I going to go somewhere else? I am also going to the social networks and going to blog about this. Your insufficient response on the nineteenth and my subsequent response on the same day have given you plenty of time to respond. Please tell me you actually read these things.

Sure looks like to me I'm gonna be buying somewhere else - but I've not had much luck anywhere else either. Might just be buying individual keys and a tool to pop 'em out and clean. But seriously, putting up the same picture on all the different parts, not giving any more info as to the difference, and telling people they need to match the appearance? WTF???

Getting Married?

Got a birthday, anniversary, or wedding coming up?

Let your friends know how important this election is to you—register with Obama 2012, and ask for a donation in lieu of a gift. It’s a great way to support the President on your big day. Plus, it’s a gift that we can all appreciate—and goes a lot further than a gravy bowl.

Setting up and sharing your registry page is easy—so get started today.

We all just thought we'd seen how the dignity of the White House had been compromised. Turns out there is no bottom. You should go there just to read some of the comments. Some are (ironically) proposing that Obama ask for blood and other human substances (leaving that up to your imagination) to help fund his campaign. Progressive Sperm for Obama?


Consider my mind boggled.

H/T Clayton Cramer

Sheesh. Ya think?

If only.......

Honey Badger Don't Care

I've gone on about old movies before and how I'd rather watch them than most new offerings. Well, some of those old movies were new back when I was of a more reasonable age. Like Escape from New York. Of course, Snake Plissken (Kurt Russell) is a honey badger - he just don't care. No one with any sense is gonna dispute that.

However, one of my great pleasures is watching Lee Van Cleef as Bob Hauk in this movie.

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I could not find the rest of that scene, particularly when Snake tells Hauk that when it's all over, he'll kill Hauk. The look Hauk gives Snake is priceless. Hauk is a honey badger who don't care - Plissken doesn't impress him at all.

Hauk remembered what Snake said, though:

You Gonna Kill Me Now, Snake?
Escape from New York at MOVIECLIPS.com

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And just for more proof that Cleef was a honey badger:


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I thought the musical number in the middle was pretty cool - it was the theme song for Two Mules for Sister Sara.

Anyhow, like so many actors from his era, Cleef served in the Navy during WWII, then tried accounting before turning to acting.

I'm sorry, but Tom Cruise, Ben Affleck, Leonardo De Caprio, et al, are just not honey badgers.

DON'T PASS IT ON!

I do not know how many times I've gotten this email:

Attorney General Holder says, "WE HAVE NO RIGHT TO POSSESS GUNS." TAKES 10 SECONDS ... DO IT AND PASS IT ON.

Guess they were not happy with the poll results the first time, so USA today is running another one...Vote now...

Attorney General Eric Holder, has already said this is one of his major issues. He does not believe the 2nd Amendment gives individuals the right to bear arms. This takes literally 2 clicks to complete. Please vote on this gun issue question with USA Today. Then pass the link on to all the pro-gun folks you know. Hopefully these results will be published later this month. This upcoming year will become critical for gun owners with the Supreme Court's accepting the District of Columbia case against the right for individuals to bear arms.

Here's what you need to do:

First - vote.

Second- launch it to other folks, then we will see if the results get published.

Click to vote:
USATODAY.com

Screen shot of the flash poll

The correct answer is NO. The Second Amendment does NOT give individuals the right to bear arms. The entire Bill of Rights enumerates our natural God given rights that the government cannot infringe upon. The BOR does not GIVE any rights at all, because this puts the power of handing out rights in the hands of government, something that appalled the founding fathers. Which is why the BOR was written the way it was.

That is why that poll pissed me off and still does. Any Amendment that covers a right GIVEN by the government can be taken away by the government. Rights we already have and do not depend on government largess cannot.

Apparently this means 97% of Americans who voted in this poll are woefully ignorant of our Constitutional Rights. Voting yes actually means you think the government has the power to take your rights away as well as hand them out. Of course, our current government thinks it has that sort of power right now anyways (and I'm speaking in bipartisan terms - Obama ain't the first). Either the folks at USA Today are also ignorant, or they're laughing up their sleeves at everyone who voted.

So go ahead, vote yes. Prove you are an ignorant fool who can be bamboozled by a simple question about something we as citizens should know by heart.

Huh?

Where TF did this come from?

Yep, too bad we can't ALL be enlightened dazzling urbanites like Jeff Danziger. Nope, we're all mouth breathin,' toothless, overweight, poorly dressed hicks with potty humor and clearly the wrong political thinking. That's it right there - we're just wrong. No reason. Just wrong. No analysis of why, just denigrate the messengers no matter how ignorant the actual denigration is.

Next up, he'll draw a cartoon lamenting how the right , damn them, just won't get into the spirit of bipartisanship.

Gee, I wonder why.

Meet Bob

Bob is - well, the nabes aren't totally sure. Part Australian Shepherd, and maybe even some Border Collie. You can really see the shepherd in his hips and butt - he has that rounded look, and his body is fairly long. Bob actually visited me Saturday, and I saw him again Sunday, when I took this pic. I'd seen him some time back when he was just a pup. Pretty well behaved as far as staying home. I hope he comes to visit me more often. Not much of a cow dog, just a shy, quiet, well behaved pet who really likes his ears rubbed.

I sure miss having a dog on the place.

Sunday Funnies

I haven't done one of these posts lately - it's just Sunday comics I found amusing. As a kid, I used to spread the "funny papers" out on the floor - the better to examine the large, generous splashes of color that so vividly described the various worlds depicted. Sadly, not so much anymore.

Nope, no way, not a chance!

Reminds me of LBJ's comment on Gerald Ford about playing too many football games without a helmet.

Speaking of wonderful colorful worlds, even in reruns Calvin is it.

Dilbert puts another one over on the pointy haired boss. Heh.

Geech has been running after Jerry Bittle passed away in 2003. Ruby and Nadine at the bar. How many times did we see them there in a futile attempt to attract men? Good stuff.

Of course, Schulz is a god.

Walt has hope!

You didn't think I'd go without putting up a political cartoon, didja? And they called Reagan the Teflon President.

The Dark Knight Rises

Image from Jayski

Chances are you will have to hide under a rock to avoid this news: Dale Earnhardt, Jr., ended his four year, 143 race win drought today at Michigan International Speedway at the Quicken Loans 400. By the numbers?

He was 5.393 seconds ahead of the next finisher Tony Stewart. Pretty big margin, but not unusual at Michigan. He gained six points in the Chase race on Matt Kenseth, who only leads Junebug by four points. The 88 car started seventeenth, and had handling issues right off. An extended pit stop that included the installation of a rear spring rubber dropped them into the twenties, but the improved handling enabled Junior to work his way through the field and take the lead, also leading the most laps.

"Today was pretty special because we whooped them pretty good.

One of the quotes from an after race interview. Yep, he did. In a black car, too - his main sponsor today is the movie The Dark Knight Rises. Remember, his daddy drove the black 3, just in case your memory needs jogging. Black cars and Earnhardt pretty well go together.

I've been hearing now for years how Dale is overrated, his daddy got him where he was at, once he quite DEI he'd never amount to anything, how Rick Hendrick should fire him for not winning right after he hired Dale, how Hendrick trying different crew chiefs for Dale was not the problem - he needed to change the driver, and so on ad infinitum. Even though he made the Chase last year, he was still some sort of hopeless bum.

Well, I don't like to curse very often here, but to those people I say fuck off. I think that statement is just about as strong a series of words can be that express how I feel about the subject. People like that ignore the facts about his many wins, his Nationwide championships, and his consistent finishes putting him in the top ten for many years.

Here's to hoping he takes the Chase Championship!!!

From NASCAR on SPEED's Facebook page

Oh, and Junior's much rumored girlfriend was in Victory Lane to give him a hug and a kiss. Look for a ton of coverage and her identity being exposed.

Photo credit @MISpeedway

Dusty

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I tell ya, it gets mighty dusty around here when the wind comes up.




H/T Rumpshot

Yee Haw

Oh Boy! I can hardly wait! Be still my beating heart!

BTW, I live right about where the "t" is in the word "later." Maybe we'll just get the rain without the wind and  pyrotechnics. Or not.

Not Me

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I ain't gonna ride the damn thing, even if it weren't in Russia, and was just around the corner. Not unless everyone thought emptying my stomach all over the place would be considered fun.

Just. Can't. Handle. That. Crap. No. More.

Just A Box

A box as a time machine:

The complete story arc of Calvin time traveling with Hobbes into the future to avoid writing a paper for school. The infamous cardboard box appears as a time machine - in other stories it is a transmogrifier, duplicator and ethicator. My sister and I made good use of various sizes of boxes in our childhood - they made great houses, vehicles of various kinds and so on. Just required some imagination. I wonder - do kids play with boxes today, or is that passe in this Kinect world?

This arc also includes a mention of the infamous "noodle incident," which we never learn details, except in one arc worms were mentioned as being involved. And I find this quote interesting:

If you ask me, these assignments don't teach you how to write. They teach you how to hate to write. Deadlines, rules how to do it, grades.....How can you be creative when someone is breathing down your neck?

Ya think maybe that's Bil Waterson's opinion bleeding through? Considering how he battled numerous elements even to this day, it's certain he felt quite strongly about the subject. He fought newpapers for the space to showcase his strip, particularly on Sundays, during a time (and they're still doing it) when the papers  really downsize the comics page to save money. He fought the idea of commercializing his strip by not allowing licences to be sold for merchandise based on the characters. I've always got a kick out of the window stickers showing Calvin peeing on something or other, but I resist buying the stuff because it's bootleg. Watterson has never endorsed any merchandise, much less Calvin urinating, which really upsets him. Out of respect to him, I refuse to buy. He certainly provided me with a great deal of free ice cream, as it were, over the years, it's the least I can do.

Plus, I think the daily pressure to perform got to him as well, and he certainly did not want his strip to become some sort of automated thing cranking out material years after he was gone, like so many legacy strips today. And, in some small way, I can relate. As a blogger who feels that daily updates are a pretty good idea, there is some pressure to produce, even if doing the thing is supposed to be fun. I do not get paid in any way, so no pressure there, contrasting with keeping the roof on my head and food in my belly just might be a tad bit of coercion to crank something out, and it had better be good.

And something else that I learned:

In April 2011, a representative for Andrews McMeel received a package from a "William Watterson in Cleveland Heights, Ohio", which contained a 6" x 8" oil-on-board painting of Cul De Sac character Petey Otterloop, done by Watterson for the Team Cul de Sac fundraising project for Parkinson's Disease. His syndicate, which has since become Universal Uclick, has said that the painting was the first new artwork from Watterson that the syndicate has seen since Calvin and Hobbes ended in 1995.^[24]

I knew about the Team Cul de Sac efforts earlier. It's a fundraiser for Team Fox, the fundraising arm of The Michael J. Fox Foundation, who suffers from Parkinson's Disease. As does Richard Thompson, who had to take a break from his strip earlier for treatment and other cartoonists filled in for him. The book is Team Cul de Sac: Cartoonists Draw the Line at Parkinson's, which is available at Amazon.com. I've grown quite fond of Cul de Sac, and considering my father died due to complications from Parkinson's, I've got a good reason to order that book. All the original artwork copied in that book was also auctioned off.

Anyways, Calvin is still cool, and there are other strips that are good that may or may not be in your local newspaper, but are syndicated. Hope you enjoy the Calvin story arc.

Moment Of Silence

On this day in 1979, Marion Robert Morrison, aka John Wayne, passed away. Au Revoir, Duke!

Keep The Blinders On, Toles

I speak of Tom Toles, liberal cartoonist for the Washington Post. Yep, the Koch brothers do spend a lot of money - in politics as well as philanthropy. The Koch brothers also happen to give a ton of money to Republican candidates. Is it ethical? Are the brothers trying to buy politicians for results favorable to them?

Why else would they give up the bucks? Of course they are trying to influence the political scene in favor of the oil industry. Good or bad for our democracy? They've certainly leveraged their voting presence way over what the average citizen's vote is valued. Ultimately, all that money probably is a detriment to our republican form of governance.

But we never mention George Soros, now do we? Liberals cry out in pain every time the Koch brothers donate a chunk of cash, but it's absolutely never noticed how much Soros hands out. Open Secrets.org has an interesting page comparing the two "entities."

If you read the page, you'll see that Koch Industries gives a lot more than Soros Fund Management, and that the brothers tend to give more to individual candidates. However, George Soros definitely wins in the individual funding of 527 groups by a factor of over twenty - $32.5m (Soros) vs $1.5m (Koch).

Open Secret's conclusion:

VERDICT: Given the difficultly in tracking donations to nonprofits and charitable organizations, it's almost impossible to quantify whether the Koch brothers or Soros dominate this political realm. That said, both the Kochs and Soros have spent incredible riches in this area with no sign of stopping.

That said, one still wonders why the Koch brothers are evil personified, while Soros remains largely invisible as far as the MSM is concerned. All those potential Woodwards and Bernsteins never point their noses in Soros' direction. No liberal cartoonist lampoons Soros.

They'd all lose their Liberal ID cards or something, I guess.

And, if you really want to know what George Soros has been up to in the US and the rest of the world (where he is not as revered as he is here, for sure), I totally recommend reading this article by The Blaze. It's a long read, but very, very detailed. Our "unbiased investigative" press needs to have their nuts racked for this coverage bias. Just sayin.'

You Know How I Am

With old movies, anyhow. The classics.

12 Angry Men is such a classic. Directed by Sidney Lumet, shot in black and white, and using primarily only one set - the jury room in a courthouse, it is surely a minimalistic picture - stark in it's scenery, but lavish in it's revelations of the qualities of the characters.

The various characters are deciding the fate of a young man accused of knifing his father, killing him. The young man is of an unnamed minority group living in the slums of New York. The jurors only refer to themselves by their "numbers," and it's a hot day, so the room gets pretty warm and tempers rise as the afternoon progresses. Remember, this was before air conditioning became ubiquitous.

Henry Fonda plays Juror #8, surely the "hero" of the movie. At first, he alone thought there was a reasonable doubt that the kid had killed his father, and doubted some of the testimony that the prosecution witnesses provided. He also doubted the ability of the defense attorney. The other men gradually expose their various biases and prejudices. Some of the more notable character actors in this tense drama are: Martin Balsam, John Fiedler (he was a master of the timid demeanor, and one of his more notable roles was as Lawyer Daggett in True Grit), Lee J. Cobb, E.G. Marshall, Jack Klugman (famous for Quincy, M.E.), Jack Warden,  Ed Bagley (Sr.), and Robert Webber. Edward Binns, Joseph Sweeney, and George Voskovec. I am not familiar with the last three, but they provided their skills as well as the ones I do know. Fonda's performance is very understated, calm and logical. Right down his alley, in other words.

While Fonda is clearly the star here, there are performances that truly merit attention. Too bad they didn't - the movie was was critically acclaimed, but received no Academy notice nor was it a financial success. It wasn't until the movie was shown on television that it finally was noticed. One of the jucier roles was of Juror #3 - portrayed by Lee J. Cobb. His emotional and draining outbursts as Juror #8's protagonist really helped frame the atmosphere. His best efforts came towards the end, when he was outvoted and was the lone juror voting guilty. The heat of the day had broken, and it was raining. He, too, would break.


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It's a shame that the uploader didn't include the end of that clip and substituted an earlier outburst by Juror #3 - the scene was of the jurors leaving the room for the courtroom, the broken Juror #3 with his head in his arm seated at the table, and Juror #8 getting his coat and slipping it over him, helping him stand and find his way out. Pretty touching stuff.

As a summary, it's hard to beat Wikipedia's Legacy section on the page for the movie:

The film is today viewed as a classic, highly regarded from both a critical and popular viewpoint: Roger Ebert lists it as one of his "Great Movies".^[12] The American Film Institute named Juror 8, played by Henry Fonda, 28th in a list of the 50 greatest movie heroes of the 20th century. AFI also named 12 Angry Men the 42nd most inspiring film, the 88th most heart-pounding film and the 87th best film of the past hundred years. The film was also nominated for the 100 movies list in 1998.^[13] In June 2008, it revealed AFI's 10 Top 10—the best ten films in ten "classic" American film genres—after polling over 1,500 people from the creative community. 12 Angry Men was acknowledged as the second best film in the courtroom drama genre. As of January 2011, the film holds a 100% approval rating on the review aggregate website Rotten Tomatoes.^[14] In 2011, the film was the second most screened film in secondary schools in the United Kingdom.^[15]

All well deserved. If you've never seen it, and you enjoy courtroom dramas*, you should make it a point to check this one out. There is no action, no car chases, no shootings, yet it is a gripping statement of the human character. Check it out.

*I'm assuming the number one courtroom drama in AFI's list would be To Kill A Mockingbird. Totally agree there.

This Demonstrates

The old adage "a picture is worth a thousand words." Perfectly.

H/T Liz

Occupy Window Sill

Rooster occupies ninety nine percent of the window sill. I disturbed him taking pictures. This was a futile attempt to overcome the inherent inertia from napping heavily, he quickly rolled over and ignored me.

He has an excellent grip on prioritizing the finer things in his life, and is rarely distracted from his goals.

World Leaders, Compare and Contrast

Ronald Maximus - there was no doubting his testosterone level.

George H.W. Bush, military man with nuts of steel.

Bill Clinton - oozing studliness and charm.

George Bush, military fighter jock.

Vladimir Putin. In Russia, the President hunts without a shirt, because he can.

The Queen. I need not say more.

Our current resident at 1600 Penn. I need not say more.

He Looks Good

President Barack Obama is reflected in the Vietnam Veterans Memorial wall as he delivers remarks during the 50th Anniversary of the Vietnam War commemoration ceremony in Washington, D.C., May 28, 2012. (Official White House Photo by Pete Souza)

I am completely reassured by the fact that Our Dear Leader is continually pursuing his self image. I'm sure that will help lower unemployment, set a budget, get us out of Afghanistan, solve the banking and automotive crises, solve the energy crisis, control the out of control spending, eliminate cronyism and corruption (a la Soylandra), keep our relationship with Israel on a positive footing, keep our image high in the Middle East, keep Hu Jintao and Vladimir Putin in check, keep the Taliban down, keep our borders secure, keep us safe from terrorism, stop the erosion of our personal Constitutionally guaranteed freedoms, help create more domestic jobs, and promote increased business opportunities.

None of which he's managed so far. But he looks good, and when his teleprompter is on, sounds good too. Plus, he looks good on The View and late night television. That certainly helps. I feel so much better now.