Saturday, April 21, 2012

Thinks That Irk Me Part #3014

Among the many things that happen in today's society that irk me are the blatant scam advertisements on television and radio. Crap such as the pitches on how to make money, oh, maybe for flipping repo or tax fire sale properties for big bucks. Yeah, just buy some house that has been abandoned for several years in a neighborhood that the economy passed by even earlier, and tell me you're gonna sell it for what houses in hot areas are going for. Without putting a ton of money, labor, repairs and so on into it. Yup. Lessee how that works for ya. At least the Smilin' Bob ads are funny.

The latest to get under my skin are the ads on SiriusXM for Pure Quantum Power. What pisses me off more is to hear Mike Bagley of The Morning Drive on SiriusXM NASCAR Channel 90 hawk their stuff.

Well, what is "their stuff," Jeffro?

Magnets, dude. Quantum Power Magnets. You stick two on strategic locations on your engine block and two on your battery. The magnets are, according to The Bagman - "Infused with quantum nano-technology" that will immediately increase the power of your vehicle. Big rig drivers are encouraged to purchase two sets. One set costs - now $99.00 reduced from $129.99.

What a deal. Let's look a bit more closely:



Check that out - how those fuel atoms are just like little sperm cells:

Who knew? This should upset science as we know it, cuz this is what everyone assumed fuel atoms look like:


Nope, not long chains of carbon surrounded by hydrogen - they're sperm. Good to know. I'm sure there are a lot of scientists who need to be notified tout suite. Immediately if not before.

Then we have the power of the nano technology coming into play, because this is normally how electricity apparently flows:


But the intense field generated by the magnets:


Lines those silly electrons right up straight away. Why, I'd bet that they do such a great job, being on the battery and all, that it might turn your alternator into an electric motor! Yeah! Kinda like a little supercharger without the expense or mechanical complications! Since that is about the only benefit one can imagine that increasing your battery's power potential would do. What a deal!

In fact, the nano tech displayed by these magnets is truly quite amazing. Since those little nano robots are so efficient, why, I'll bet the military and DARPA will be beating a path to the door of the entrepreneurs at Pure Quantum Power. Not only those guys, but the entire medical industry, the micro circuitry folks, the petroleum industry - well, there are a whole host of beneficiaries for the wondrous breakthrough these magnets represent. And all for the incredible low price of ninety nine bucks!!!

I understand the various networks and stations have to use advertising to survive, in order to provide us with free entertainment. I also can kinda relate to the SiriusXM model, where the subscription fee doesn't really cover their expenses. However, it does not make me appreciate their integrity very much when they claim their news department is without bias, for instance. Y'all take money from the Devil, dudes.

And my opinion of Mike Bagley drops each time I hear him hawk this crap. Journalistic honesty indeed.

5 comments:

drjim said...

Yeah, one of my irks, too.
SNAKE OIL!

Cybrludite said...

Besides the hydrocarbons not looking like sperm, they're made of hydrogen & carbon, not iron.

Jeffro said...

Oh, Cyber, that's just a minor inconsequential detail when yer sellin' bladeless knives without handles.

jed said...

Did you notice there that the text says to put them on the battery and engine block, but the picture shows them on the gas tank?

Could be worse. They could be selling magnetic cock rings.

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