Morons. Every Stinking Day. Morons.

Arriba, CO, shadowed by a nasty thunderstorm to the east.



Closer to Seibert - combines on the horizon rush to beat the rains. Perhaps the storm has missed them. They won't stop until it's absolutely necessary.




Now it's raining, and my windshield is clean again. Oh, and my windshield wipers are on the fast setting - that's not a pic of rain building up with them off. I just happened to catch them between wipes. Traffic was moving from about thirty to forty five mph. You can just barely see the line of traffic parked on the shoulder - too scared to go on.

NOTE: That is a very stupid and unsafe move - if you are caught in a storm and are too afraid to keep moving, get to the next exit ANYWAY and GET OFF THE INTERSTATE. Parked vs. vehicles moving at speed is a bad mix. If you are so unsure of your driving ability that this scenario presents itself in your life several times, perhaps GETTING OFF THE INTERSTATE AT AN EARLIER EXIT might be conducive to saving your life and limbs, to wait the storm out.

Of course, this requires critical thinking, which by definition is in short supply when the practitioner parks on the side of a very busy interstate rather than exiting. Your dog needs to walk, poop and pee? By all means, park on the paved shoulder. Don't be bothered by all the traffic that tries to move over to keep from hitting your dumb ass if you wander out in traffic. Need to switch drivers? Why, nothing beats that narrow strip of macadam over on the right - you can just barely park off the white line - people move over for you and give you room. Sometimes. So open that driver's side door into traffic - nothing bad will happen. Natural selection doesn't apply to you, after all. And, if it's storming - hey - those overpasses? They're handy temporary shelters to keep your ride from getting pounded by hail. Better to cause an accident where your car is totaled and you and your loved ones are killed outright by getting rear ended than suffer a few hail dents.

You'd think the supposed "knights of the road" would be better, but some of those mouth breathers have no clue either. I've seen idiots parked just past the exit on the shoulder - they obviously shut it down in time to make the exit, but chose to park next to the busiest lane on the big road. Since it takes them longer to reach merging speed - hey, just be a traffic hazard for a while even after ya get movin.' Rather than use the exit and the onramp to build speed to merge. Yer certainly "special" in a short bus kinda way.

After seeing all this stuff, when I came upon an accident scene - in the oncoming traffic - I was primed. A farmer or harvester had been towing a draper header when the very strong crosswinds blew it over - wheels akimbo in the sky. It was spread out in the median and angled out into the left lane, and traffic was backed up.

I just absolutely hate what happens on the CB radio when these incidents occur. Everyone is on the radio - "WTF happened? What lane to we need to be in? Is traffic moving? Is it shut down?" All of those are reasonable questions, but what gets under my skin is someone will take the time to explain what has happened and give directions, then some idiot breaks in wanting to know just WTH is going on. Had they had their radio on and their mouth shut, it was just explained about five freaking times previously - but they were too wrapped up in what they were doing instead of paying attention, and now want immediate gratification. Lately, the radios have really been "carrying" so a half assed unit can pick up conversations from miles away. So, no excuses except the head up the arse variety. Any of the nine million times I've been caught in a jam - just keeping quiet and listening got me more information than just butting in and proving myself a fool.

So, I was in listening mode - my side was moving, albeit slowly. The westbound traffic was questioning their role in life and the great scheme of things, but it seemed they were getting no answers. So, Good Samaritan that I am, I broke my personal radio silence with the needed information. I always - always - try to keep it short and sweet. If you spin a tale, people won't wait and will try to walk over you to ask you further details. Which I can't hear if I'm keyed up. Doesn't matter to the more dain bramaged among us - logic rarely prevails.

So, I mentally composed a short, concise and informative statement that had all the information necessary to inform the oncoming traffic of the situation and the actions they had open to them.

A draper header on a trailer turned over in the median and has the left lane partially blocked. Traffic is moving.

This answered What happened? Is the road closed? And What Should I Do? Obviously, the left lane is blocked and traffic is moving. The left lane and the median are blocked. It is raining buckets, so any off road excursions would not be advised. This leaves the right lane. This is all logical. My first mistake.

But, driver - what lane do we need to be in?

I paused for a second, pondering just what kind of idiot would ask that. I decided to pour fuel on the fire - I'm not very tolerant of fools much anymore.

WTF? Are you deaf? The left lane is blocked!!!

Well, you DIDN'T say what lane we all need to be in - smarta$$. Do I need to take the left lane?

Jesus, driver - are you that f#@%ing dumb? The left lane is blocked, what lane does that leave? Use your head!

Well, I dunno - you didn't say. Maybe we need to be in the left lane. Maybe we need to drive through the median. You didn't tell me what lane to be in.

OK. I've just run into Radio Rambo - who deliberately argues just for the sake of argument. He'll defend his reasoning no matter how unsupported his arguments may be or how stupid he sounds. Arguing just for the sake of arguing. Radio Rambos are always tough behind the mike, but if called out - they won't stop to defend their point of view with more than just their anonymous mouth. Kinda like internet trolls - I'm sure they're cousins if not the same breed.

At this point, the CB erupted with other drivers jumping in. Most were on "my side."

If you are really that stupid, drive in the median or left lane for all I care.

I heard a driver tell me I was wasting my time trying to argue with an idiot like that. It didn't matter how logical my information was - the guy was an idiot and not worth my time.

Best advice I had all day.