I, Rubbernecker

This has been bothering me for a couple days now. I knew I'd have to blog about it to clear the air for my own sake, but putting thoughts down was more difficult than anticipated.

I'm sure y'all are familiar with the Move Over laws - when you see an emergency vehicle on the side of the road and you are traveling in the lane adjacent, you are then required to move over to give them room. This applies to the median on a divided highway as well - you'd have to move right were you in the fast lane and came upon a patrolman writing a ticket with the customer parked on the far left edge.

And, in doing some research on this, there are differences in the various state laws. Some require that you slow down first, then move over. In Texas, if you are unable to move over, you must slow down twenty mph under the speed limit - and yes, this means five mph in a twenty five zone.

And, the various personnel really don't care for people blasting through their "work area." I about got out of my last speeding ticket (almost five years ago now) when a semi blasted by the officer and I on a two lane, almost blowing his hat off. He remarked that he had heard the guy slow down a little, or he'd have gone after him and let me go. This sort of thing gets my attention - maybe, just maybe, if ya don't slow down in those situations, you might just get a ticket.

Balance this tidbit with the knowledge that truckers just don't like to lift off the throttle, period. I'm sure we've all been caught up in traffic jams where the incident is well off the road, or even on the other side of the median. Truckers blame this on "rubberneckers." People slow down to look at accidents, or whatever caused the others ahead to slow down. Gotta see. You should hear the bitching and moaning when this happens - I've even seen someone's box of clothes dropped from a vehicle and gradually being strewn across the pavement stop traffic.

To be fair, there is some justification for this - people do like to look. However, there are also two other factors most don't even bother to consider - we are all trained to slow down when we see emergency lights, period. And, traffic behaves similarly to fluid dynamics. If you pinch off (lose the right lane because people have to move over) the traffic flow, backups will occur. It's called the accordion effect. As cars start intruding on each others' safe space, the drivers will slow down, causing the other drivers behind to slow down as well. Pinch points also behave like putting a kink in a garden hose. Throughput is reduced. So, it's really more a question of vehicle/traffic dynamics rather than idiot "four wheelers" as most truckers believe.

And another thing that gets to some, me included, are "Radio Rambos." Before internet trolls there were those who, behind the anonymity of the unseen microphone, try to bait people into arguments for their own amusement. When challenged to "back up" their smart mouths, they'll avoid any sort of physical confrontation like vampires do garlic. They are usually behind base stations, so they can "walk over" most of the radio traffic. There are drivers who do this, too - but they aren't as anonymous. Getting them to pull over and defend their remarks is still generally a futile exercise.

I think y'all can see where this is going.

So, I was eastbound on I70 just east of Deer Trail, CO. I had just passed a reefer running about two or three mph less than me - I was running 75 - the limit. I'm convinced he, like two thirds of the trucks out there, was running up against his governor. I'm sure his company had his set for 72. At any rate, I was about three or four hundred yards behind a car that had eased by me, and as we came around a curve, a major accident scene unfolded. A Swift truck was involved - it was pointed away from the road, and the trailer looked pretty dinged up. There was another truck involved - it was further down the road, and it looked like it had rolled. There were numerous emergency vehicles lining the shoulder, and thirty or more personnel in green safety vests walking and standing on the fog line. I did see a couple heavy wreckers. Mostly, I saw all those people, and I slowed down. The car ahead of me had slowed considerably, so I matched it's speed - about fifty or so. At the time, I felt that it would be totally unnecessary for me to run up on it, slam on the brakes, and ride it's ass. Maybe that's just me, but I kept the same following distance.

Then, on the CB, I hear a rather large amount of profanity directed at me. It seems the driver behind me was upset that I slowed down. I was informed that it was people like me that caused accidents by slowing down and rubbernecking at accidents, just WTF was I doing?

Well, if there's one thing I've certainly seen plenty of is Swift trucks involved in these things. Frankly, I'm not interested in seeing blue tarps or much of anything at all - mostly I'm interested in not running over someone in a reflective vest. I told him I had slowed to keep from running over the &^*@ing four wheeler in front of me, and that I wasn't interested in rubbernecking - and returning the compliment about his biological heritage as well.

"Why are you lying? You know you weren't gonna hit that four wheeler! You were rubbernecking, you f#$%ing liar!"

No, I was keeping pace and the same distance - you @ssh01e. He continued railing at me, and mentioned that all the law required was for me to move over - not slow down.

What?

I informed him that LEOs have a dim view of people ripping through accident scenes ninety to nothing, and they will write up those who do so. He could bitch all he wanted, but I wasn't gonna get a ticket just to keep his happy ass satisfied.

Nope, it was the law, I was rubbernecking and a liar. I shouldn't have slowed down.

Well, this was getting a bit surreal, and I'm not really geared for confrontations. This guy obviously was - he was quick with the retorts and misdirection of the arguments. This wasn't the first time he was involved in a radio argument. He obviously was a variation of a Radio Rambo. So, I told him I didn't have to listen to this s$#t, so I was going to shut off my radio, goodbye and good luck with the cops in the future, and I shut off the radio.

This sort of thing gets under my skin. After a few miles, I called the State Patrol number in my handy Rand McNally Truckers Atlas to see if they could verify that I wasn't required to slow down. I've called them before - at least I've got the sense not to tie up a 911 line. The dispatcher didn't really know, but she had always thought slowing down was required. She offered to try to get a "public information officer" to talk to me - I might have to leave a number for them to call back, etc., so on and so forth. I told her it was probably a judgment call, and that wouldn't be necessary. So, I looked it up on the ol' Algore Intertubes:

(2) (a) A driver in a vehicle that is approaching or passing a stationary authorized emergency vehicle that is giving a visual signal by means of flashing, rotating, or oscillating red, blue, or white lights as permitted by section 42-4-213 or 42-4-222, shall exhibit due care and caution and proceed as described in paragraphs (b) and (c) of this subsection (2).

(b) On a highway with at least two adjacent lanes proceeding in the same direction on the same side of the highway where a stationary authorized emergency vehicle is located, the driver of an approaching or passing vehicle shall proceed with due care and caution and yield the right-of-way by moving into a lane at least one moving lane apart from the stationary authorized emergency vehicle, unless directed otherwise by a peace officer or other authorized emergency personnel. If movement to an adjacent moving lane is not possible due to weather, road conditions, or the immediate presence of vehicular or pedestrian traffic, the driver of the approaching vehicle shall proceed in the manner described in paragraph (c) of this subsection (2).

(c) On a highway that does not have at least two adjacent lanes proceeding in the same direction on the same side of the highway where a stationary authorized emergency vehicle is located, or if movement by the driver of the approaching vehicle into an adjacent moving lane, as described in paragraph (b) of this subsection (2), is not possible, the driver of an approaching vehicle shall reduce and maintain a safe speed with regard to the location of the stationary authorized vehicle, weather conditions, road conditions, and vehicular or pedestrian traffic and proceed with due care and caution, or as directed by a peace officer or other authorized emergency personnel.

(3) (a) Any person who violates any provision subsection (1) of this section commits a class A traffic infraction.

(b) Any person who violates subsection (2) of this section commits careless driving as described in section 42-4-1402.

"SHALL EXHIBIT DUE CARE AND CAUTION"

So, it's a judgment call. Had I not lifted, I'd have run up on the car and had to brake, and this clown would have had no reason to bitch at me, because I sure as hell couldn't pass on the right - next to all that activity butted up against the fog line. I know I did the right thing for the right reasons - even if I highly doubt one of the numerous LEOs would have chased me down for not slowing if there hadn't been a car in front of me that did. And, I know I did the right thing by shutting off my radio and not continuing the confrontation.

It takes me a while to get steamed, and I got pretty hot for a while. I really considered pulling over to get behind this a$$h01e and attempt to taunt him into pulling over for a more personal and face to face discussion. Most of these mouthy idjuts have never had to suffer the consequences of their actions - or they'd have learned to keep their mouths shut long ago. He wasn't gonna outrun me, and I could have dogged him for miles calling him various names questioning his manhood if he cared to continue - he'd have looked pretty poor to any listening.

But, there are plenty of reasons this is a bad idea. The foremost is that the guy who signs my checks is very cognizant of the company reputation. He's spent years building a highly regarded business, and the last thing he needs is one of his company trucks plastered all over the Denver news. Plus, a guy could get ventilated doing stuff like that - and since I don't carry - the vented one would be me. And, most personally, I can write checks that my body can't cash any more. I've lost a lot of the use of my left hand, and my former strength is gone after all the surgeries.

But I still feel like if I haven't lost my man card, I've certainly put it in danger. Perhaps it's like a punch card - after so many punches, you lose it. Right now I feel like it's very close to being revoked. I still want to shove that guy's mike where the sun don't shine.