Friday, January 16, 2009

Nursery Rhymes I Don't Remember

Nuttin' here, so to the inbox!


Mary had a little pig,

She kept it fat and plastered;

And when the price of pork went up,

She shot the little bastard.

********************

Mary had a little lamb.

Her father shot it dead.

Now it goes to school with her,

Between two hunks of bread.

********************

Jack and Jill went up the hill

To have a little fun.

Stupid Jill forgot the pill

And now they have a son.

********************

Simple Simon met a pie man going to the fair.

Said Simple Simon to the pie man,

'What have you got there?'

Said the pie man unto Simon,

'Pies, you dumb ass' !!

********************

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.

All the kings' horses,

And all the kings' men.

Had scrambled eggs,

For breakfast again.

********************

Hey diddle, diddle, the cat took a piddle,

All over the bedside clock.

The little dog laughed to see such fun.

Then died of electric shock.

********************

Georgie Porgy pudding and pie,

Kissed the girls and made them cry.

And when the boys came out to play,

He kissed them too 'cause he was gay.

********************

There was a little girl who had a little curl

Right in the middle of her forehead.

When she was good, she was very, very good.

But when she was bad........

She got a fur coat, jewels, a waterfront condo, and a sports car.

H/T Eddie

1 comment:

CGHill said...

More prosaic:

"Mary had a little lamb, rice pilaf, and a dinner salad."