A real woman is a man's best friend.
She will never stand him up and never let him down.
She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him after a bad day.
She will inspire him to do things he never thought he could do;
to live without fear and forget regret.
She will enable him to express his deepest emotions and give in to his most intimate desires.
She will make sure he always feels as though he's the
most handsome man in the room and will enable him to be the most confident,
sexy, seductive and invincible...
No wait...Sorry!
I'm thinking of whiskey. It's whiskey that does all that crap.
Never mind.
H/T Alan
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Monday, March 28, 2011
I Found An Old Pal
Remember this game? Standard on WindowsXP? But it disappeared from later editions of Windows?
When I got my last laptop, not only did it come with the underwhelming Vista OS, Redmond in their infinite wisdom decided not to include this game. When I moved all my stuff over, I sure looked around the web to see how I could get this game on the new 'puter - to no avail.
I should have known better. The current Vista machine is getting long in the tooth - mostly because the power plugin is about worn out. Any disturbance "unplugs" it and the power indicators start flashing. As long as it's sitting on a table, it's cool. Put it on my lap, and that's another story. Imagine that. Using a laptop on a lap. Silly me.
It sure needs refreshed. Performance and bootup time is abysmal. I'll probably pop in the restore disk after I've decided all the important data on it has been gleaned. I'm just not in the mood to try fooling with a Linux distro. I tried that once on an off breed laptop back in the day, and even though it wasn't really a fair test (driver availability was the main problem), I just don't have the patience to go through all the idiosyncrasies that Linux does not share with Windows.
I've been paying the IRS for back taxes for several years, but for some reason, they decided not to keep the refund this time. So, a trip to Wally World later, and about a day of downloading and moving files, I'm ready to go with the Winders 7 machine (a low end HP). Today, however, a continuing urge to visit the porcelain throne had me at home and bored stiff. I remembered the old pinball game and wondered if it was available for installation on a non XP machine.
Turns out all you have to do is copy the program files from the folder the game resides, and move it to a folder on the new pc. Make a shortcut of the .exe file to the desktop, or as I did - the games list under the start button. That's all there is to it. Silly me. I'm sure I broke a law by downloading it off the net. I could have fired up the old XP laptop I still have to copy the files. The built in wireless card went down on it three times - the first two were fixed under warranty, but the last - I used a card. I was using a card the second time it went down, and something else fried as well, prompting a return to a service center. It still works, but I doubt it's longevity, just as I do the Vista machine now. And the Vista machine has lasted longer than the three year extended warranty, so I got my good out of it. Laptops traveling with me lead a hard life. I've sure considered Panasonic Toughbooks, but it seems to me that they are about two generations behind with about three times the price. Durability apparently comes at a pretty stiff cost.
But there is joy in Mudville now that the ol' pinball game is up and running!
Labels:
geekery,
piss poor health,
whine
Sunday, March 27, 2011
I'll Take Some Snow With My Turkeys, Thank You Very Much
First off - snow! This is the second actual measurable and semi-significant snowfall we've had this winter. Bonus points for falling with no wind. This happened between five a.m. and when I finally drug my butt outta bed. We have a slight chance for more today, but I ain't holdin' my breath. Plus, this is already melting.
The wheat is starting to green up - amazing considering how little moisture it's had this season. This little deluge will hold off the thirsting hordes of wheat plants for about three days if it doesn't get hot and windy. Otherwise, one day. Bet you didn't know wheat got thirsty or felt pain, eh? Farmers know. They can tell. They might not think much of Bill Clinton, but they can "feel your pain" as far as their crops go. When the wheat starts to lighten in color and get brown on the edges, the keening cuts right to their souls.
I got very excited when I saw these puppies. The last time anyone has seen wild turkeys in this 'hood was about eighteen years ago - by mine and my neighbor's reckoning. About three miles southwest of here is a huge shelterbelt on an old farm that held two to three turkeys for almost a year or so until they just disappeared. We all had our suspicions that a certain resident (not gonna say gentleman, who doesn't reside here any more) poached 'em.
The State of Kansas has divided the joint up into hunting sections, and the one The Poor Farm and a neighboring area have not allowed turkey hunting for years and years. This was because there were no turkeys living here in the first place. They seem to like areas with a little more water than we have here.
There is a sort of deer and game "trail" that runs from the southwest to the northeast from the Arkansas River on towards Jetmore. In that swath is where you'll generally find deer - a lot of that ground is in pasture, so there are remote stock tanks fed by windmills for them to get water. I expect the turkeys will be hanging close to stock tanks as well.
Some of ya might not be too excited to see a wild turkey. I certainly see a ton of 'em in my travels, so it's not like I never lay eyes on one. To see five of them right off my front porch, where I have never seen one in my life - well, that's thrilling to me.
Saturday, March 26, 2011
It Would Only Be Logical To Wish Spock a Happy Birthday
Leonard Nimoy is eighty years old today! Of course, portraying Spock in the original Star Trek series has immortalized him forever in the eyes of geeks everywhere. He wasn't comfortable with being typecast at first, but over the years he's embraced the notoriety. He's also retired from acting several times, and ends up in some project or another - such as the "new" Star Trek movie, Priceline commercials with Bill Shatner, voiceover work, or whatever. He's also an accomplished director - besides the Star Trek work, Three Men and a Baby is his as well. Other ventures into authoring books and music were moderately successful.
So, Happy Birthday, Mr. Nimoy! I'm gonna steal his signature closing from his tweets as @TheRealNimoy on Twitter - LLAP. Live Long And Prosper.
Labels:
movies
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
I'm Actually Kinda Jealous
When making a reservation for my room last night, I asked for a king bed and a fridge. I thought I was getting a fridge in my room on the second floor - the other choice was overlooking the pool with two queens. Well, it seemed to me if I wanted quiet, a room next to the indoor pool at a Holiday Inn probably wasn't gonna be a great choice. But, I guess I misunderstood - no fridge in the king room. Bummer. Had to switch.
So, yeah, kids were screaming and having a great time, but it was early. I knocked off about nine but was brought awake by a thumping noise from the room next door. It sounded like someone slamming a cabinet door over and over, or bouncing a ball against something. I thought I'd heard kids running up and down the halls and in and out of that room. I had the tv sound up.
Well, this continued off and on through the late evening, until about eleven thirty or so, when I'd had enough. I called my next door neighbors and asked them to cut back on the thumping noise a tad - and the guy said he would.
But, later on, it began again, then quit, and started again. I kinda got to wondering just what was making that damn noise! So, muting the television, I tuned in.
Well, what a moron. I now could hear the squeals and moans, and even a bit of slapping. Checking out my beds revealed the faux headboard - heavy and of fairly high quality I'm sure. But it was hung (mounted? See what I'm doing there?) like a picture.
So some vigorous activity on the ol' bed could get the rhythm goin' and make that headboard thump the wall - but it wasn't all that noisy in my room. Bet it was transmitting to the upstairs and next door just like their headboard was mine - sheesh, everyone in that little cluster of rooms had to be hearing the "serenade" that I was "enjoying."
After that session, they stepped out to the pool, and the gal and several of her friends got to talking and carrying on. I didn't feel like looking - but sheesh - they sounded like kids.
They definitely had the stamina! I'm not even sure that I had that kind of performance available in the ol' salad days.
Aaand - Holiday Inn? Fasten those damn fake headboards down better!
So, yeah, kids were screaming and having a great time, but it was early. I knocked off about nine but was brought awake by a thumping noise from the room next door. It sounded like someone slamming a cabinet door over and over, or bouncing a ball against something. I thought I'd heard kids running up and down the halls and in and out of that room. I had the tv sound up.
Well, this continued off and on through the late evening, until about eleven thirty or so, when I'd had enough. I called my next door neighbors and asked them to cut back on the thumping noise a tad - and the guy said he would.
But, later on, it began again, then quit, and started again. I kinda got to wondering just what was making that damn noise! So, muting the television, I tuned in.
Well, what a moron. I now could hear the squeals and moans, and even a bit of slapping. Checking out my beds revealed the faux headboard - heavy and of fairly high quality I'm sure. But it was hung (mounted? See what I'm doing there?) like a picture.
So some vigorous activity on the ol' bed could get the rhythm goin' and make that headboard thump the wall - but it wasn't all that noisy in my room. Bet it was transmitting to the upstairs and next door just like their headboard was mine - sheesh, everyone in that little cluster of rooms had to be hearing the "serenade" that I was "enjoying."
After that session, they stepped out to the pool, and the gal and several of her friends got to talking and carrying on. I didn't feel like looking - but sheesh - they sounded like kids.
They definitely had the stamina! I'm not even sure that I had that kind of performance available in the ol' salad days.
Aaand - Holiday Inn? Fasten those damn fake headboards down better!
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Happy Birthday, William Shatner!
link
Not only is today Bill Shatner's eightieth birthday, it's also the second annual Talk Like William Shatner Day. So, Happy....BirthdayBillShatner......and....mayyouhavemanymore!
All joking around aside, I think hangin' with the Shat would be pretty cool. I don't think he'd sit still very long. He's certainly one of the busiest actors extant, and seems to have a good sense of humor. Have y'all seen him on Shatner's Raw Nerve? Great interviewer as well.
Check out the close of the video above when Kevin Pollack also "does" one of his favorite impressions. He doesn't need more cowbell.
Not only is today Bill Shatner's eightieth birthday, it's also the second annual Talk Like William Shatner Day. So, Happy....BirthdayBillShatner......and....mayyouhavemanymore!
All joking around aside, I think hangin' with the Shat would be pretty cool. I don't think he'd sit still very long. He's certainly one of the busiest actors extant, and seems to have a good sense of humor. Have y'all seen him on Shatner's Raw Nerve? Great interviewer as well.
Check out the close of the video above when Kevin Pollack also "does" one of his favorite impressions. He doesn't need more cowbell.
Labels:
viral
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Friday, March 18, 2011
Just An Observation
Y'all know I put in more than a couple miles traveling throughout the Midwest - the country with wide open spaces, straight roads and fast speed limits. I and my compadres travel at the maximum legal velocity that the local laws allow, perhaps even a fudge factor above and beyond what the legal limit might be - say in Michigan on their secondary roads limited to fifty five mph, or Nebraska at sixty on similar byways.
It's never fast enough for a large segment of the population, though. Perhaps some of the motivation for this post comes from George Carlin's quote:
However, when the vehicle in question is .gov owned, that's another story entirely. Whether it's the local school debate team in their Suburban, one of the state's whatever bureau, or a GSA tagged US Gubbmint car - well, I'm paying for that gas, man, and you're pissing me off. It's nice that we taxpayers have been footing the bill for wheels for y'all to drive from point A to B as part of your job, but you don't need to take that responsibility for granted.
But, hey, it's not their car or their money paying for the gas. So what? Why should they care? It's not like the car is in their name or anything. It's a perk, dude. Drive it into the dirt and throw it away. After all, it's probably cream white and a stripper model - it's not like they're getting to drive Beemers.
I guarantee you that I am passed by the overwhelming majority of said vehicles. I suspect the odd one I have actually gone by might have had mechanical problems preventing it from going faster.
We are so often told that our various .gov operations are being cut to the bone, that there is no room for saving any more money, while they travel around in cars burning up the pavement and staying in the higher priced motels as well. I never see these cars parked at a Budget Host or America's Best Value Inn - nope, they're at the Holiday Inn Express, or the Hampton Inn.
So, when I do hear cries from various sectors of our betters in the government how services will have to be cut in order to make the budget because they're as austere as humanly possible - well, let's just say I think their eyes are brown. An entitlement mentality has crept into their thinking, and what they think they need just to survive is fairly luxurious and wasteful to the rest of us.
I don't pretend to have the solutions for this - but it is instructive to realize how public sector employees view discretionary spending while on the job.
It's never fast enough for a large segment of the population, though. Perhaps some of the motivation for this post comes from George Carlin's quote:
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?But, small "l" libertarian that I am - I say it's not my problem. If you wanna drive fast and look serious, risking speeding tickets and paying for the extra fuel that yer hot rod is drinking up, more power to ya. Same for people in company cars or pickups. I can't tell you how many times I've had my doors blown by someone with a logo on the side of some muddy extra cab in oil drilling country, or Bob's Electrical Contractor or whomever. That's a business expense that the individual company is willing to absorb, and once again, it's none of my business.
However, when the vehicle in question is .gov owned, that's another story entirely. Whether it's the local school debate team in their Suburban, one of the state's whatever bureau, or a GSA tagged US Gubbmint car - well, I'm paying for that gas, man, and you're pissing me off. It's nice that we taxpayers have been footing the bill for wheels for y'all to drive from point A to B as part of your job, but you don't need to take that responsibility for granted.
But, hey, it's not their car or their money paying for the gas. So what? Why should they care? It's not like the car is in their name or anything. It's a perk, dude. Drive it into the dirt and throw it away. After all, it's probably cream white and a stripper model - it's not like they're getting to drive Beemers.
I guarantee you that I am passed by the overwhelming majority of said vehicles. I suspect the odd one I have actually gone by might have had mechanical problems preventing it from going faster.
We are so often told that our various .gov operations are being cut to the bone, that there is no room for saving any more money, while they travel around in cars burning up the pavement and staying in the higher priced motels as well. I never see these cars parked at a Budget Host or America's Best Value Inn - nope, they're at the Holiday Inn Express, or the Hampton Inn.
So, when I do hear cries from various sectors of our betters in the government how services will have to be cut in order to make the budget because they're as austere as humanly possible - well, let's just say I think their eyes are brown. An entitlement mentality has crept into their thinking, and what they think they need just to survive is fairly luxurious and wasteful to the rest of us.
I don't pretend to have the solutions for this - but it is instructive to realize how public sector employees view discretionary spending while on the job.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Acrophobia
I haz it.
Google Street View to the east.
Looking west.
This is a fairly historic bridge that spans the Snake River Canyon just north of Hansen, ID. I've crossed it four times in two days - once loaded, then we dropped our trailers and drove to a motel for trip two over it. Our crane appointment to get unloaded was today late in the morning, so trip three was bobtailing back out to the site. It's been pretty rainy, so picture taking from the scenic overlook was right out. It's about a three hundred foot drop, and it's also a pretty short span as well. So, I cheated and used Google's Street View.
Here is a link to a Flickr picture showing the support pillars.
So, it turns out the guy running the crane had to fish out a truck from the bottom that was blown over the side during a microburst several years ago. Apparently the truck was empty pulling a van trailer, and the wind pushed it over the guard rail. Witnesses in the vehicles on the bridge saw the driver trying to jump off the running boards as it teetered on the edge, but he didn't make it. They found his body, crushed by the frame and with the driveline ran through his chest.
There are some wind socks at the ends now.
That last trip across - well, I didn't look to the sides much.
Google Street View to the east.
Looking west.
This is a fairly historic bridge that spans the Snake River Canyon just north of Hansen, ID. I've crossed it four times in two days - once loaded, then we dropped our trailers and drove to a motel for trip two over it. Our crane appointment to get unloaded was today late in the morning, so trip three was bobtailing back out to the site. It's been pretty rainy, so picture taking from the scenic overlook was right out. It's about a three hundred foot drop, and it's also a pretty short span as well. So, I cheated and used Google's Street View.
Here is a link to a Flickr picture showing the support pillars.
So, it turns out the guy running the crane had to fish out a truck from the bottom that was blown over the side during a microburst several years ago. Apparently the truck was empty pulling a van trailer, and the wind pushed it over the guard rail. Witnesses in the vehicles on the bridge saw the driver trying to jump off the running boards as it teetered on the edge, but he didn't make it. They found his body, crushed by the frame and with the driveline ran through his chest.
There are some wind socks at the ends now.
That last trip across - well, I didn't look to the sides much.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Oh, Dammit! I Missed It!
Dang. March 14th. A special day for guys - a sort of Men's Valentine Day celebration.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
I Can Relate - Big Time!
Been there done that! What's scary is sometimes during the dream you are taking care of business, but curiously with no relief. I fear those episodes, because it seems to me that the ol' bod might just fulfill that urge. If you know what I mean, and I think that you do.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
In Which I'm A Hopeless Nerd
link
I have been, and always shall be - your friend.
I swear, this scene undoes me every time. Say what you will about Shatner overacting, but here he shines. As does Nimoy - tugging at his tunic to neaten himself before his Captain.
Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan. The high water mark of all the Star Trek movies, as far as I'm concerned.
I have been, and always shall be - your friend.
I swear, this scene undoes me every time. Say what you will about Shatner overacting, but here he shines. As does Nimoy - tugging at his tunic to neaten himself before his Captain.
Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan. The high water mark of all the Star Trek movies, as far as I'm concerned.
Wednesday, March 09, 2011
In Which I'm a Sore Disappointment
When I pulled into the motel parking lot, there were two car haulers already parked. The one closest to the motel had some Chrysler minivans loaded and the next one was empty. They were industrial red medium duty day cabs with painted steel wheels and no frills. Fleet "portable parking lots," in other words. Of course, the drivers are all probably union and make twice what I do.
So, I backed next to the empty one, shut down the Binder, and collected my stuff to go check in. As I was walking around the other two rigs, I saw an elderly gentleman who had just driven in and parked get out of his car and walk to the side entrance. He was scoping out the loaded car hauler, a look of wonder and joy on his face.
Are you hauling new cars?
No sir, I'm empty.
The expression fell a tad - he was disappointed that I wasn't the driver of the rig loaded with minivans.
Oh, so you're on your way to pick up some cars?
Uhhh, no sir, I drive the truck further to the south. That brown one over there. I haul tanks.
Crestfallen, he started walking towards the motel again.
I'd bet those are new minivans - they're all Chryslers and nearly identical, so he probably loaded at the factory.
He turned, his face brightening considerably.
Yessir, I'm sure.
Well, thank you. I'll let you go so you can check in. Good evening.
And good evening to you, sir.
So much for polishing and waxing the ol' tank hauler - when just hauling minivans on stripper trucks is ever so much more kewl. My priorities are totally screwed.
So, I backed next to the empty one, shut down the Binder, and collected my stuff to go check in. As I was walking around the other two rigs, I saw an elderly gentleman who had just driven in and parked get out of his car and walk to the side entrance. He was scoping out the loaded car hauler, a look of wonder and joy on his face.
Are you hauling new cars?
No sir, I'm empty.
The expression fell a tad - he was disappointed that I wasn't the driver of the rig loaded with minivans.
Oh, so you're on your way to pick up some cars?
Crestfallen, he started walking towards the motel again.
I'd bet those are new minivans - they're all Chryslers and nearly identical, so he probably loaded at the factory.
He turned, his face brightening considerably.
You think so?
Yessir, I'm sure.
Well, thank you. I'll let you go so you can check in. Good evening.
And good evening to you, sir.
So much for polishing and waxing the ol' tank hauler - when just hauling minivans on stripper trucks is ever so much more kewl. My priorities are totally screwed.
Monday, March 07, 2011
Talk to Me, Baybee!
link
link
Apparently dogs and cats can communicate!
Throw in a little human sacrifice, and Doctor Venkman's predictions will come true......
link
Apparently dogs and cats can communicate!
Throw in a little human sacrifice, and Doctor Venkman's predictions will come true......
Sunday, March 06, 2011
Exercise in Futility
Dear Jeff:Oh, really?!?! Closest supporters? Since when? Just what we need - another washed up RINO muddying up the waters for the Republican race for a presidential candidate.
You are one of my closest supporters. So, I wanted to make sure you heard the news. I have decided to explore running for president.
Over the last year I've watched a failure in leadership, and have spent a lot of time thinking and praying about taking the first step. I am writing you to ask for your advice, as Callista and I consider whether or not I should run in 2012.
What I need to do right now is listen to and learn from people all across America. I need to be certain that if I run, my candidacy will have the support it will need to make a positive difference for our nation. However, I can't do it alone. What I am hoping you will do is help me and support me during this exploratory process.
I have asked a lot from you over the years. In return you have humbled me by demonstrating your talent, energy, and financial sacrifice that reflect how deeply you and others like you, care about our nation. You are an indispensable part of helping me decide what to do next, and I have to tell you, I need you now more than ever before. If I run, this will be the single biggest challenge we've ever faced together. So, success depends entirely upon you. I want to hear from you. I need to hear from you. So let me ask you:
1. Would you support my candidacy if I were to run for President?
2. Will you support my exploratory effort with a financial contribution
of $35, $50, $100, or even more at this vitally important early
"Newt Explore 2012" stage today?
Of course, all the links in the email lead straight to a donation page, but hey, he asked for my opinion, did he not??? The home page has a submission form for contacting Newt, so this is what I said:
You are not my first choice for the Republican candidate for the 2012 Presidential election. However, I would reluctantly vote for you over the current occupant of the office. I would not support your efforts with any of my hard earned money.He asked for my opinion. I'll bet my comment will have the same effect as urinating into a stiff breeze(that's PC for a more crude saying we use out in the windy country). Since we're such good friends and all, anyways.
Saturday, March 05, 2011
Enough, Already
If you know me at all, you are well aware how most chain emails really piss me off. It's a general rule with me that if it ends in forward this to everyone you know, then the whole thing is a bunch of bee ess and should be regarded as such. Plus, the email shouldn't be forwarded just out of general principles. Here is one that got under my skin:
Take a look at WALMART. WOW they do it right !!! �(Notice where WalMart gets their gasoline!)
WHERE TO BUY AMERICAN GASOLINE. THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT TO KNOW. �READ ON.
Are you aware that the Saudis are boycotting American products? In addition, they are gouging us on oil prices.
Shouldn't we return the favor? Can't we take control of our own destiny and let these giant oil importers know who REALLY generates their profits, their livings? How about leaving American Dollars in America and reduce the import/export deficit?
An appealing remedy might be to boycott their GAS. Every time you fill up your car you can avoid putting more money into the coffers of Saudi Arabia . Just purchase gas from companies that don't import their oil from the Saudis.
Nothing is more frustrating than the feeling that every time I fill up my tank, I'm sending my money to people who I get the impression want me, my family and my friends dead.
The following gas companies import Middle Eastern oil:
Shell...................................... 205,742,000 barrels Chevron/Texaco..................... 144,332,000 barrels Exxon /Mobil........................... 130,082,000 barrels Marathon/Speedway............. 117,740,000 barrels Amoco................................... 62,231,000 barrels
And CITGO oil is imported from Venezuela by Dictator Hugo Chavez who hates America and openly avows our economic destruction! �(We pay Chavez's regime nearly $10 Billion per year in oil revenues!)
The U.S. currently imports 5,517,000 barrels of crude oil per day from OPEC. If you do the math at $100 per barrel, that's over $550 million PER DAY ($200 BILLION per year!) handed over to OPEC, many of whose members are our confirmed enemies!!!!! It won't stop here - oil prices could go to $200 a barrel or higher if we keep buying their product.
Here are some large companies that do not import Middle Eastern oil:Sunoco.....................0 barrels
Conoco.. ..................0 barrels
0ASinclair...................0 barrels
BP / Phillips........... 0 barrels Hess........................0 barrels
ARC0........................0 barrels
Maverick...................0 barrels Flying J...................0 barrels Valero.......................0 barrels
Murphy Oil USA*.....0 barrels *Sold at WalMART > , gas is from South Arkansas and fully USA owned and produced. Not only that but they give scholarships to all children in their town who finish high school and are legal US citizens..
All of this information is available from the U.S. Department of Energy and each company is required to state where they get their oil and how much they are importing.
But to have a real impact, we need to reach literally millions of gas buyers With the help of the internet, it's really simple to do.. Now, don't wimp out at this point....keep reading and I'll explain how simple it is to reach millions of people!!
I'm sending this note to about thirty people. If each of you send it to at only ten more (30 x 10 = 300).....and those 300 send it to at least ten more (300 x 10 = 3,000)....and so on, by the time the message reaches the sixth generation of people, we will have reached over THREE MILLION consumers!!!!!!!
If those three million get excited and pass this on to ten friends each, then 30 million people will have been contacted! If it goes one level further, you guessed it...THREE HUNDRED MILLION PEOPLE-the entire population of the United States of America !!!!
Again, all you have to do is forward this message to 10 people. How long would that really take you? If each of us sends this e-mail out to ten more people, within one day all 300 MILLION people could theoretically be contacted during the next eight days
Oh yeah, lets start boycotting just certain oil companies, because of where they get their raw materials. I'm good with the sentiment, but this simplistic view is totally ignorant of how the oil industry actually works as far as getting that gas to the pump where you, the consumer, decides which spout you're gonna use.
You've probably seen, or heard of tank farms or pipeline terminals. If not, they are generally a collection of HUGE tanks out in the middle of nowhere, with spiral staircases running to the top, and where you'll see gas tankers parked in a line to pull under a semi-enclosed structure with a lot of pipe lines visible. The slang for that is the rack - as in CB tanker truck talk - "There's three in line at the rack when I left, didn't see any cops" - said from one tanker to another of his pals on the way to said rack.
Okay, so what? Well, that terminal is where most of the gas, diesel, avgas, jet fuel and perhaps other petroleum products are shipped through a network of pipelines and stored so local gas outlets can pick up what they need for the various vendors - like the Exxon or Valero or Kwik Shop or whom ever.
All the brands pick up at the SAME PLACES. They pick up the SAME GAS. Yes, I said THE SAME GAS. Stuff like Amoco Silver? It's the base formula with an additive - put in after the load has left the terminal. Mixed at the station by dumping so many gallons of additive per so many gallons in the load. Not to say that the base formula is the same everywhere - so called boutique gases and regional blends exist. Certain states and cities have mandated certain formulations of gas be sold in their municipalities for emission control. That's another issue entirely - but you should know that if you live where boutique gas is required, you can expect to pay more for your gas. The refineries that make gas generally have to shut down from producing the more common formula to make the special blend, so it costs us all more in the end. We all pay for the lost productivity. There are regional differences, too - gas made for high altitudes or lower temperatures may be different.
But, back to the terminal. Where do they get their gas? It depends on the pipeline, who owns it, and who they're networked with as far as refineries go. The pipelines might be owned by a specific oil company, a consortium of energy companies, or a pipeline transport company (their only business). There might be only one refinery or several that supply that terminal. There might be several "brands" of refineries involved. But, the fact remains that the gas is made to spec, and is essentially identical to the spec gas coming from a different terminal on a different pipeline system a couple of hundred miles away. The terminal may get a "load" of base gas from one brand of refinery, then the next might come from another. It all ends up in the SAME STORAGE TANK.
And, by the bye, if you ever drive past one of those terminals, pay enough attention to notice that the tankers in line are all different. Depending on locale, you might see a Flying J behind a Love's Country Store, behind Cenex and with several independents mixed in. Independents who might be going to Casey's General Store on their first load, and to the Kwik Shop the next, or even a split load - part going to one and the rest to the next. Those tankers have separate compartments, so they can get diesel and gas at the same time.
But, but, but Jeffro! The email says Murphy uses only domestic crude in their refinery in Arkansas!
I'm sure they do. I'm sure that this is the case. However - if you think all of the Murphy locations are getting their gas shipped by tanker all the way from Arkansas, you are hopelessly naive. For instance - their is a Murphy at the Wal Mart in Woodward OK. They simply cannot provide gas at a cent less than their competitors in town when their competitors are getting their stuff locally. The trucks that supply that outlet are getting their gas in the same places that everyone else uses. There is no way they can pay four or five dollars a mile for an eight hundred or so mile round trip, and make any money, when their competition is only paying for a hundred miles or less. Plus, they can get their gas from the same places, because the various terminals have reciprocal pick up rights. That means Exxon can pick up from Valero, and vice versa. That consideration is extended to Joe's Local Oil Emporium as well.
Mmmkay, but let's boycott Exxon anyways, you might say. Again, hopelessly naive. You aren't gonna hurt them in any significant way, because about all you'll stop buying that would hurt them would be the oil for your engine. Since the local Exxon branded convenience store is a franchise, you will instead be hurting your neighbor Fred who pays that franchise fee to Exxon and who actually owns that business. He's gonna be paying his fees to Exxon whether or not you buy another Exxon branded gallon of gas ever again. And besides, its all the same anyhow, and who knows where it really was produced?
Let's examine the situation around The Poor Farm. There are several terminals within easy short haul tanker reach around here. There is one north of Scott City on US83, one east of Great Bend just off US56, one in Oklahoma south of Turpin on US83, and one south of Perryton, Tex on TX70 - which branches off US83. Take a wild guess who owns all of these terminals.
Valero. If you go to that link, the page default is for "Valero Locations." On the left is that link, plus "Wholesale Terminals" and "Retail & Branded Presence." Wholesale terminals are the tank farm distribution terminals they operate. Clicking on that link shows all the terminals Valero operates. Does this mean those terminals are supplied only by Valero refineries? I really doubt it - I'd be for betting there are several different refineries hooked into their pipelines.
Okay, you might say - so what? So you've got a bunch of Valero terminals around ya? What does that have to do with me buying Exxon/Mobil gas?
One of my best friends is a retail bulk petroleum distributor. He also owns a tanker rig - plus several bobtail tankers used for local bulk delivery. He is affiliated with Mobil as far as buying bulk and packaged oils and greases, but the card pumps he sells from are not - as far as I know. However, he still has to buy his gas from the local terminals. His choices are the Scott City and Great Bend terminals - there are other terminals near McPherson and Hutchinson, but they're not owned by Valero. Each terminal generally sells their gas on a "spot" basis - since the market is so volatile, the price can and does vary day by day. Sometimes, he can catch enough of a variance between the various terminals to be able to save a penny or three per gallon that he passes on to his customers. If the price is cheap enough in McPherson or Hutchinson, he can go the extra distance and save a little over buying it from Great Bend.
So, he's the one you'd hurt by not buying Mobil branded items, and he's more than likely selling Valero (one of the good guys, remember?) gas from his tanks, which may or may not have come from a Valero refinery, which may or may not have been using domestic crude in the first place.
So, be sure to forward that email! It's full of fun facts! It's surely not misleading or anything, or ignoring or omitting valuable information! Let's boycott the bastards and show 'em who's boss!
Tuesday, March 01, 2011
Mike's Truck
Some of our guys spent some time detailing Mike's truck so it could sit at the church today for his service. It always looked pretty good on Monday mornings when he'd pull out, and he kept it at a high rate of slickness, so this was hardly the first time it was shiny. But, seeing it there in the sunshine on a beautiful day looking ever so fine - well, I had to share.
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