Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Not Aging Well

That would be me.

Yesterday, I made a trip to Wally World - I get my drugs, groceries and many other sundry items there as a rule. One stop shopping, doncha know. I'm not much for running all over town to buy a certain thing from one store, then dash off to the next one for the next item. Nope, it's all about convenience for me.

So, I was buying some items to fill in the corners of the ol' pantry, as it were. Among the items were some tomatoes, Swiss cheese and wheat bread. I had all my groceries sitting on the passenger seat and on the floorboard of the ol' Chebby Z71, and on my way home, it occurred to me that I was not seeing the loaf of bread. Well, crap, I wasn't finding the tomatoes or the dern cheese, neither. What in the wide wide world of sports had just happened?

Near as I can tell, I either left it in the shopping cart, never completely unloading it then pushed it into the cart rack. Or, I never got it loaded up at the checkout counter. I was the last customer that day for the checker - she was closing up as I left. It could have been on her rotating sack rack.

I think it was my fault and I just left the sacks in the stupid cart. I generally haul my bread and eggs in the child seat as to avoid the rough and tumble of the main compartment, and I sure think I remember putting the sack that held the bread up there.

I do not care for these kind of mysteries. Apparently I'm a prime example of a CRS* sufferer. Or, as the case may be, I might just be going whole hog and exhibiting symptoms of CRAFT**.

I've always said I can hear my Daddy speak at certain times in my life, even though he has passed on. On this occasion, he told me that I'd forget my a$$ if it weren't hooked on. Thanks, Dad, for that pithy and useful wisdom. Really helped out there.

* Can't Remember Shit
**Can't Remember A Fucking Thing.

12 comments:

  1. This is something that has gotten increasingly bad lately. My husband now follows me around and picks up whatever it was I went into the kitchen to get. He doesn't complain though, because when I forget, I look around and realize I'm in the kitchen, then start cooking.

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  2. That sounds like a win to me!

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  3. Anonymous9:08 PM

    If it'll make you feel better, I went out sans my phone today: right when I needed it (expecting 2 calls from potential contractors). Remembered about it only when walking through the lobby at work. As soon as I remembered, something else popped up: that I forgot to take out the garbage. Prepared it, tied the bag - and left it in front of the door.

    Yeah, real CRAFTy.

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  4. Apparently, we'll all suffer together, at any rate.

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  5. Cindy Salem-Daniel9:11 PM

    LOL!! Jeff I can relate to that CRS& the CRAFT!! It really sucks sometimes getting older!! Glasses on my head or looking for the keys I know I put right on the table but somebody put them on the counter. Who moved them on me? LOL Thank you for the chuckle!!

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  6. I do what I can, Cindy. If I remember.

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  7. Anonymous12:55 AM

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7lSliucgygc&list=FLg0WSqJFjOhmRSsIdrjkPtg&index=29&feature=plpp_video

    Sorry, I'm not HTML savvy enough to shorten the link, hope it works.

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  8. Ain't it fun though?

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  9. Anonymous7:00 PM

    We are all following the same ol path. We are DOOMED!!!!!! Give me your money.

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  10. Farmist: Heh, all of that seems mighty familiar. I saw my parents go through that, yeah, that's the ticket, not me, not at all.

    3c - Ya just gotta step back and laugh about it, crying does not seem to accomplish much.

    Anon - To whom?

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  11. Sure glad I never do anything like that.......hey, what were we talking about?

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  12. I had this witty rejoinder all primed and ready do go, see, and.......

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